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The not so happy stuff...

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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April 8th, 2013, 11:01 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,917
I am excited about baby #5, I really am but I am also a little not. Mostly because DH and I had planned on having this summer for us-you know, vacation, being able to leave the kids for a couple days overnight, not having the complications the pregnancy can bring to the table. DH has been struggling with this pregnancy and it has caused some friction. I feel like I can't talk to him about it as much and end up keeping a lot too myself or only sharing it with you ladies and not him. I also feel like he is going to resent the baby. We have had a couple arguments/conversations about it, and Saturday-having started arguing over something completely unrelated-we talked about it again. I explained my feelings of loneliness and how I can't share things with him and how I feel that while I am excited about the gender U/S I am also afraid that it won't change the situation for him, that he will still feel the same. He explained to me that he has no ill feelings about the baby, its the pregnancy that he has trouble with. I am sick, tired, not myself and just all around different so its hard to plan anything for the two of us. I am having a hard time grasping the concept of how he feels about the pregnancy not being how he feels about the baby. I tried to explain to him that for me (and I think most women) when I am throwing up or dealing with any of the negative pg stuff I remind myself that in the end I get a beautiful baby to hold and it makes it worth it. He admitted that he hadn't really thought of it that way. I am really hoping that from here on out, especially after we find out the gender, that things will get better. I have felt so odd about this pg because it seems like everyone else is more excited than we are. I love my kids and there are times when I am so thrilled to be having #5 but I do feel a bit overwhelmed. I am really thinking that after this one comes we need a good break from having kids. I feel bad saying that because I love kids, but I think I am being realistic when I say that I need a break. Anyways, I just wanted to share my feelings and also see if anyone else is dealing with anything similar.
Yesterday he seemed to mention the baby more than usual so I hope that is a good sign!!!
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April 8th, 2013, 12:19 PM
mirdeemrlvs's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,464
Well, atleast you are able to get out your feelings here.. so hopefully that helps. I am struggling with alot of issues too with DH... but, funny it's not that one this time.. I've always been more excited than him, and this time he's so much better than the other times. So, I've been there. He's not one to put his hand on my belly, talk to the baby, etc.. but he actually did that this time (once)...I don't know what ages your kids are or what your faith is.. but, there's a couple at my church and they had 6 kids in approx 10 years. She is an amazing woman, but she was just overwhelmed. I've never had this problem. I dont' get pregnant easy. So, it's prob. easier for me to trust God and not have anything permanent done. But, not so for others. My friend ended up doing something permanent and though her youngest is getting older and she is beginning to have doubts, it is what she decided at the time. I know I feel overwhelmed some days being pregnant and my hormones are definitely on overdrive!!! I would just try to talk to DH about what your feeling when you are both calm and try to do something to take care of yourself :-)
Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him. Psalm 127:3

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April 8th, 2013, 01:27 PM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Delta, BC Canada
Posts: 2,925
Mommy to 7 boys and 1 girl!
Sean 19, Justin 16, Kevin 14, Jayson 13, Bryce 7, Seth 6, Kade 4 & Alyssa 3
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 & Sept 2013 TR May 2008

Blessed with 1 son with Autism and 1 daughter with Down Syndrome child she was also born with Pulmonary Hypertension, Oxygen dependence, complete AVSD, Hirschsprungs, GJ tube dependant and many more health issues
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April 8th, 2013, 01:29 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,617
I don't really have any advice, but I'm sorry that you and your dh are struggling with some of these things. FWIW, I don't think any of that sounds crazy or unusual. I'm glad that you were able to talk a little bit more honestly this weekend and hope it was the start of a little more understanding all around.

*Excitedly expecting baby girl number two!*

Thank you to Babydoll213 for my fabulous siggie!
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April 8th, 2013, 02:15 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,917
Thanks ladies

We are Catholic and have 4 other kids ages 5,4, 3 and 18 months. So I get pg pretty easily-this time its hard to say when we got pg. According to the U/S dates it was a week before my temp shift said I ovulated...so either my temps were wrong (and so was my monitor) or the U/S is wrong. I wouldn't do anything permanent nor will I take BC, it just means be better at controlling myself LOL. That time of the month poor DH is trying to be responsible and I am the one acting like a horny 18 year old boy!!! I am really starting to need more time with DH and I won't get that if we get pg so frequently. After #4 I went almost a year before my cycles returned so I am hoping I can push it a couple more months and then behave myself for at least 7-8 months...hoping for a chance to spend some time overnight at the coast or something!!
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