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So overwhelmed Can I vent! Went off the deep end tonight

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 2 Post By MamaSkunk

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May 31st, 2013, 09:16 PM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 750
I just need to vent . I am so overwhelmed I feel like I don't have anyone I trust to talk to. I think I just need to get it all out.

I just don't know how I am going to deal with this all. I am so overwhelmed now how am I going to be when the baby gets here. It just seems like it's always something.

A friend of mine was killed in a car accident, he was 29. No drinking invoked. the services are tomorrow, it's going to be really difficult. Everything at the house is going wrong. My homeowners insurance more than doubled and I am having a difficult time finding an affordable policy. My patio door leaks everything it rains, I found out it rotten the floor, so we had the floor taken up and can not find where it's leaking at still. so floor is torn apart and it's raining everyday and I am still stuck with no solution. I can't keep up with everything, all the housework.

I still need to install the car seat and pack a hospital bag, haven't started either. I'm so worried about the baby and his small measurements and head. The weekly ultrasounds and NST are overwhelming. Going to Mayo clinic every 2 weeks is tiresome. My back pain lately is horrendous. I mean it hurts so bad tonight I cry. No signs of labor what so ever. I don't know ow much longer I can do this.

No sure how I am going to make everything work. Coming up with 500 bucks a month for day care isn't going to be easy either. I have to go back full time. It's just not an option. Am much as I want my son I just don't know how it's going to work.

My boyfriend and I have not been getting along. Got in a big fight tonight. He;s just always go go go. Can never sit still. Always busy working full time. If not he has his garden to tend to or farming for his uncle (unpaid). It's just always something. He comes home to mow, do a few chores eat and sleep. He won't relax at all with me unless he is sleeping, won't watch a movie with me nothing. It's like he has no time for us. I feel everything else is more important. We use to do alot together and have a lot of fun. I just want to have some fun, we never do anymore. He doesn't even seem to care if we don't fool around every of anything. I'm just so frustrated with it.

Sometimes I just can't take everything and want to snap. I don't want to be upset and cry ans stress out for the baby. Sometimes I can't help it. I am not getting enough relaxing time and resting either. Still working full time. I just want to run away sometimes.

Sorry this was long. i really had to get that all out there to someone anyways.
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May 31st, 2013, 10:22 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 3,068
Hugs!!! About that patio door its likely where the door is set into the wall of the house that's not sealed properly....not something you can exactly eyeball without taking the door out. Lots of patio doors are installed improperly.
Secondly I am very sorry about your friend. My DH and I lost our best friend the year we moved back to MN, we conceived on the one year of his death and are due a few days after his bday. Its definitely harsh to be dealing with sadness while pregnant especially loosing a close friend.
As far as your SO he is probably just as scared about baby coming as you are I'm sure he will settle down a bit once little guy comes. Guys do not bond with baby really before they can see and hold that baby. Its just different for them than it is us.
Also try not to stress too much about going back to work (maybe you can find a relative to watch lil guy for cheaper for when you go back to work?) And as far as his size maybe he's just a peanut and there is nothing wrong. Just keep praying and remember not to stress out too much!
4hearts and Steph625 like this.

Last edited by MamaSkunk; June 1st, 2013 at 06:18 AM.
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May 31st, 2013, 10:47 PM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 4,134
I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. It is no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed, you have sooo much on your plate right now. I, like Karry, think your BF could just be feeling a little nervous about the baby. Men just tend to show it differently. My DH will just pull away from me when he is going through something. It makes it hard to feel secure, though, that for sure.

I am happy that little bub is hanging in there, but I know that makes for a miserable mama. Especially having to make all those extra trips. It will all be worth it soon. Hang in there and keep venting whenever you need to!
JaxonJocelyn Gabriel Grayson and Scarlett

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May 31st, 2013, 10:57 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,585
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I dont know if you are into positive affirmations but maybe look some up. Those really helped me when I thought I couldnt handle the pregnancy anymore.

As far as your BF I agree men tend to act differently when they are feeling overwhelmed, scared, ect.

As much as you can plan and be prepared for the baby there is never a 100% right time for anyone to have a baby. It just isnt that way. Have you checked care.com for babysitters/day care? You maybe able to find something more affordable on there. Hang in there hun you are doing amazing!

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June 1st, 2013, 03:31 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 2,153
Just wanted to let you know we are thinking of you this difficult day. Loosing such a good friend has to be overwhelming. When we are pregnant the emotions are even greater. Hopefully the service will be one that brings some peace.

It sounds like finances are a concern. Perhaps SO is trying to work a little extra in order to help with the finances a little extra. I know that it is difficult to return to work. I have done it. I know everyone has already said this though the thought of returning is less terrible than after a little while of being back. Somehow you find a routine.

Hope you can find some pain relief soon. As we grow large so does the uncomfort. Hang in there.

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June 1st, 2013, 03:56 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 26,352
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. That is never easy. We are here for you whenever you need to vent or let out your emotions. It is kind of normal for guys to pull away like your SO is doing. This is my third and DH is kind of acting like that too right now. I know he is stressed over adding another member to the family and what that mean for us in the future. Just try to take it day by day. You can make it and things tend I work out in the end.

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June 1st, 2013, 04:20 AM
Steph625's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South Bloomfield, Ohio
Posts: 828
I can't offer any better advice than Karry already said. Just know I'm praying for you during this time. I couldn't imagine going through everything at the end of pregnancy plus mourning. I'm deeply sorry.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm not packed yet nor have a car seat installed. Heck...I don't even have a nursery. I just figured if I go into unexpected labor, I'll just throw the carseat in the car. They won't let you go home without it installed. So no worries there.

Hang in there love! It's a stressful and busy busy time. Hugs!
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June 1st, 2013, 05:28 AM
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Floor-ree-dah
Posts: 3,388
PP's all said what I am thinking. Sending you lots of hugs and hope things get better for you soon. My condolences on the loss of your friend. You're in my thoughts.
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June 1st, 2013, 05:39 AM
rcjh12's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,008
Just sending you lots of hugs right now. You know how to get hold of me if you need to vent! ((hugs))
09/03 - 09/06 - 06/13
"Would I rather be feared or loved? Um ... easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." - Michael Scott
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June 1st, 2013, 07:33 AM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Maryland, near DC
Posts: 1,473
I don't know that I have any useful advice. I'm just so sorry that you're going through so much all at once. Being at this point in pregnancy alone is enough without anything else on top of it. I'll be praying for you and I hope things get better quickly. Big hugs!
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June 1st, 2013, 07:35 AM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 750
Thank you all so much for your words and advise. I appreciate you all. Sometimes I just need to get it all out and this is my palce I feel comfortable doing it. After I posted I was able to go to sleep. Thanks so much!!@ Just got to get through the service today.
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June 1st, 2013, 07:54 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,085
I am so sorry you're going thru all this, you definitely don't need all this stress right now, life is hard at times but just think when you've hit rock bottom you can only go up from now. Stay positive and don't stress over things you can't change. Let life take its course. You will do just fine when baby gets here
-Hey, it's Genesis

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June 1st, 2013, 06:04 PM
mommy220's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,191
I agree with all the other ladies. I am so sorry for your loss and the stress of work and household things is overwhelming. I get at that point all the time and I am not even going through as much as you are. It will all work out with the daycare situation. It has to, just take it one day at a time right now and soon you will be focusing on your little man.

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June 1st, 2013, 08:28 PM
zkat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,743
I am so sorry for your loss. You have so much going on, your are entitled to lose it periodically. The end of pregnancy (especially the first when you don't know what to expect) extra monitoring and the loss of a friend each by themselves is hard to deal with and you have all 3. We here anytime OU need to let it out - that is what this group is all about
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