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I didn't have an ounce of sadness in the hospital. Only happy tears (except those from pain or exhaustion during labor). We get home yesterday and have a pretty rough night. Baby just won't stop crying. I kept nursing and nursing and nursing and at one point she stopped latching. I thought maybe it was a fluke so we just kept trying to sooth her. I got no sleep. I just cried all night with her.
The visiting nurse came to weigh her today because she had lost more than usual in the hospital. She lost even more and I've started supplementing every feeding. My milk just hasn't come in yet and there's nothing else I can do. I cried about that all morning. Not because breastfeeding has been unsuccessful, but because I hate that my baby has been hungry. I'm also really mad that they didn't keep her at the hospital with as much weight loss as she's had. I've just cried all day about random, stupid things. We have a doctor's appt tomorrow to see if she's stopped losing weight, if she hasn't then she'll have to be admitted to the hospital. I feel so bad that, as her mom, I couldn't even keep her belly full. I'm bursting into tears as we speak. At this point I couldn't care less how she gets fed and if I simply can't breastfeed, then that's fine. I just want her to have a full belly and be happy. On top of that, I think I might be getting an infection near my incision site and I'm still in a ton of pain. I just want to be a good mom.
The exact same thing happened to me with DD. She screamed the whole first night at home and we couldn't figure out why. I kept trying to feed her, she stopped trying to eat after a while, it was sooooo horrible. All I could do was cry bc I felt like a terrible mom for not being able to figure out what was wring with her. We saw the LC in the morning who told me my milk wasn't in yet and she was ready for more. We supplemented with an oz of formula after each feeding for the next day or so just until my milk came in. That did the trick for her and things were fine once my milk came in. And I felt a lot better once I got more rest. I was just so exhausted from giving birth, being in the hospital, and then not sleeping the first night at home on top of her screaming all night that I couldn't handle it. I was doing much better once I got a bit of rest. I hope the same thing happens for you. I hope you can get some rest, your milk can come in, and things will get better very quickly. Big hugs and hang in there! This definitely won't last.
I am so sorry you are struggling with some baby blues, Elise. I have been crying over lots of stuff the past couple days as well. These hormones are no joke!
And you are NOT a bad mama for supplementing. Breastfeeding doesn't always come easy and I have two very smart, healthy, formula-fed children Hopefully your milk comes in soon so you can start fully breastfeeding. But you gotta think of your child, which you are doing. THAT is what makes a good mama. You're doing great. Hang in there hun.
JaxonJocelyn Gabriel Grayson and Scarlett
Hugs, sweetie! You are not a bad mom! It sounds like you really need some sleep. Have DF take the next feeding and you get a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Bourne lost 13% of his birth weight in the hospital, and my milk came in in less than 3 days. Our Pedi wasnt worried at all He gained it back and it was one heck of a growth spurt/cluster feeding marathon when he did. Anna is going to be just fine. Sleep is really important for you to heal, so try to get it when you can.
Thanks everyone! I'm still crying a fair bit, but it's over nothing. Literally nothing. haha. She's doing great now with the 1-2oz of formula after offering the breast. She's sleeping great and is so completely content. I've been trying to get a nap in between the every 2 hour feedings and it's done wonders. I even got a real shower today. My incision looks fine, there's just some redness and a bit of swelling in the tissue around it, so for now I think it's okay until my appt friday. Milk still doesn't seem to be coming in, but Anna is still latching very well (thank goodness I bought breast feeding bottles). We have our appointment with the pedi today to see if the weight loss has stopped, if it hasn't, she'll have to be admitted to the hospital. I'm hoping that since she's been eating at least an oz every two hours, sometimes 1 and a half, that all will be back on track. Prayers are appreciated as always and I'll keep everyone updated.
Thanks again for all the encouraging words! I needed them!
Keep us posted on little Anna after her appointment. I really hope she hasn't lost any more weight. I am glad you are getting some rest! When I had my first, I remember that first couple weeks I didn't get to shower until my BF was home at like 7 at night. But sleep and a shower will do wonders for your mood.
You are doing great!
JaxonJocelyn Gabriel Grayson and Scarlett