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The "Your family is complete" comments

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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July 20th, 2013, 07:59 AM
MeggysMommy's Avatar 3 + 1
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 10,202
Has anyone else gotten that from family and friends? My dad has told me every time he has talked to me that we should be happy with our 2 girls. And don't get me wrong we are very happy to have 2 beautiful healthy daughters and probably are done for the foreseeable future but it is still annoying to hear.
Cay wife to David mom to Megan 10/01/2010 and April 7/14/2013

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July 20th, 2013, 08:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: SB, California
Posts: 1,280
It's super annoying. Our family is actually complete now that Emmie is here but the "so are you done now?" Questions are really getting old. People have no sense when it comes to commenting on pregnancy, birth or family size.

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July 20th, 2013, 08:29 AM
ahruska's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 766
We kind of have the opposite problems people want to know if we'll have more. Why would 2 kids one boy and one girl not be "enough"?
Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

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July 20th, 2013, 09:27 AM
tela's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 15,207
Opposite here too. We have our 2 boys, and our family is complete. Family, mostly my mom, keeps saying not to make any permanent decisions. Um, I'm 33 and DH is 36. We can decide if we're ready to make a permanent decision!
MeggysMommy and jkgreen like this.
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July 20th, 2013, 12:02 PM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Somewhere near Detroit, MI
Posts: 8,975
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Lurking if you don't mind.

I get these comments from everyone, even people I don't know, because we have a large family. This baby is #11 and everyone feels the need to comment on my family size. I am so sick of hearing "are you done YET?"

It is very aggravating when people feel the need to comment on something that is none of their business one way or the other.
MeggysMommy and Christina642 like this.
Jenifer....The Queen Bee
Nehemiaah Franklin 11/10/14 4:16am 9lbs 9oz
Welcome to the world lil' man!!
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July 20th, 2013, 12:08 PM
mamalamb's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 6,079
Lurking from August because I'm bored and suffering through endless braxton hicks LOL....

Anyway, yes this is so annoying!!! We have 2 daughters and are expecting a son in a few weeks and as soon as people found out this baby was a boy we started getting all the "You're done now, right?" "Oh good, now you can stop" comments. It makes me so mad because we actually are not 100% sure if we are done or might want one more!!!!! UGH
Ella, age 10
Abby, age 6
Max, age 3

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July 20th, 2013, 12:25 PM
keekopeeko's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: virginia
Posts: 7,949
I got it so much when I was pregnant with number 3... 2 girls and then a boy... Everyone acted like "FINALLY you have your boy and you can be DONE!" ... Here I am due with #4 and NOW I get comments like "just pop out another 4 kids!" And "just see how many you can have!" ... interesting!
~Em, Married to Matt since 7/3/04. Mommy to Layla 3/29/06, Eva 10/18/08, Zeke 2/4/11, and Jonah 7/28/13

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July 20th, 2013, 03:53 PM
Kiam's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,954
I greatly offended someone when I replied to the idiotic comment of "You're finally a family" with "What? We were a family beforehand, there's just an extra person now".

But heaven forbid you suggest that there can be a family without children.
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July 20th, 2013, 04:01 PM
MeggysMommy's Avatar 3 + 1
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 10,202
I was surprised people have asked if we were done because I'm only 23 and DH is 25. Figured we would get more "When's the next?".
Cay wife to David mom to Megan 10/01/2010 and April 7/14/2013

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July 20th, 2013, 04:24 PM
4 Boys & 4 Girls !
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,729
Originally Posted by MeggysMommy View Post
I was surprised people have asked if we were done because I'm only 23 and DH is 25. Figured we would get more "When's the next?".
oooh no way!!!! Your still a spring chick and have lots of chickadees to 'POP' out !!!


seriously thats just rude really, why do other people care so much about that??
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July 20th, 2013, 07:59 PM
Mommy_2layla's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: FL
Posts: 924
Since this is out first we don't get the family is complete comments but my aunt tends to make comments like " i bet you wont do this again " any time i show signs of discomfort...

i learned to just ignore my family when i was young.. they always have snarky comments for everything..

on the other hand DH's family expects me to just keep popping them out because they have no clue what it means to live within your means.. and his family just lives a completely different lifestyle that i just don't understand..

i just reply to all that if we have another child it wouldn't be for 5 or 6 years... Im only 21 and he is 22... there is absolutely no rush

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July 20th, 2013, 08:30 PM
Kiam's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,954
I mentioned to a certain relative who I won't identify who kept asking when the next one was coming that if it does, it won't be until after we buy a house and they were mortified.

Erm... if you can find somewhere in our current house to put a second child I would sure like to see it. Heaven forbid we try to be sensible about our circumstance and want a bit of housing stability before we expand the family any further. It was especially frustrating given that this relative knows the whole situation that brought us to having a baby right now, which wasn't what we had planned to do. Ideally we would have waited a few more years.
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July 20th, 2013, 08:43 PM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,473
Who is anyone to say that for anyone else?

Thanks so much Claire for my awesome siggy
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July 21st, 2013, 07:46 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 567
I don't mind the question "Are you done?" as long as the "right answer" isn't implied in how it's asked. But really, it doesn't come up much - I'm so quick to say we're done that people don't even have a chance to assume it. And at my age, I'm sure nobody's surprised.
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July 21st, 2013, 07:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Northeast Georgia
Posts: 2,144
Ha, we've actually only had the opposite. Every time someone sees Alex, they ask when we'll be having another. Granted, I guess it's because we have 3 children four and under while we are young but you would think that would just make them more inclined to think we were done lol

We are done, but only because of Alex having TTN when he was born, which is a risk for every c-section, which I have to have. I know it is rare, but even though he was in the NICU for 24 hours, I don't want to do that again. So we are constantly telling people, "No, we're good." when they ask when we'll have the next one.

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July 22nd, 2013, 07:59 AM
-erin-'s Avatar Co-Host of the May2010 PR
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 10,040
Even though it is true for us, I do think its presumptuous that people comment on how we can be done now that we have a girl and a boy.

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July 23rd, 2013, 07:16 AM
mommamuffin's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 761
I HATE people saying that crap. This baby isn't even born yet and people keep telling us if it's a boy we'll be done (one girl and one boy) and if it's a girl "are we going to try again?" Steve responds that irrelevant to whether we have a boy or a girl we're *done* and I say we will see how we handle having 2 kids before we discuss the possibility of a third. We're currently working on buying a house and everything like that, so there's just a lot of stuff up in the air.

It's really not anyone else's business whether or not we choose to have another kid. And you never know - there could always be another "Oops" in the future!
Our little number two, Leonardo, was born July 26, 2013. Welcome baby Leo!

http://i1359.photobucket.com/albums/q796/DLLovell/SquishyDDC_zps630852e9.gif[/IMG] [IMG]

[FONT="Garamond"][COLOR="Green"]Christina (me), Steve (SO), Isabelle & Leonardo.
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July 24th, 2013, 04:58 PM
sethsgirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: SC
Posts: 9,652
My mom was listening to a conversation between DH and I and when I walked into the room she was in she said "I thought he was getting snipped?" Not that it's any of her business but no he isn't anymore. We don't plan on having any more biological children but he's only 25 (almost 26) and I'm 27. I had a lady at the grocery store ask me if we were done. People really need to learn to keep their opinions to themselves. DH said if anyone asks him he's going to say "heck no, we're just getting started! We want to be like the Duggar family and have 19 kids or more!"
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July 26th, 2013, 08:38 AM
HappilyTogether's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: In a house, with a mouse
Posts: 886
I get it both ways. Our families don't want us to have any more. However our friends keep telling me "You'll soon forget all about it ("it" referring to the hyperemesis gravidarum and other issues I had during the pregnancy etc) and will be having another one." Especially from people who know I wanted a girl.

I'd really love to have more!! However I will never forget the things I went through. It was horrible right from the very start. I cry about not having more children very frequently, but I cannot bear to ever risk going through this again.
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July 26th, 2013, 01:27 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,564
I'm lurking too. I'm on #5 and I get the " 5 kids that's a lot your done now right" I just laugh it off most of the time but in all honesty it pisses me off. When my family say's it it really irritates me. How dare them comment on how many kids I have as long as I'm the one taking care of these kids. In all honestly I really wanted to be done this time but I have 1 girl from a past relationship and then 4 boys with my husband. I really want to have a girl with him. He says he is done and he has been in my daughters life since se was 2. But I can't just decided to be done. All though my luck we would have 10 boys lmao
Christina Married to Eric, Mom to Ashley 15 Christopher 11, Wyatt 9, Brantley 6 Orion 3 , my angel McKenzie Baby #7 due in Feb 2018
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