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Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 2 Post By JulieMc
  • 2 Post By redbirds

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August 7th, 2013, 03:50 PM
Expecting our 1st and 2nd
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 983
I need to vent! My husband and in-laws are driving me crazy.

After a home inspection last week, my husband decided that now is the time to start working on our house. He has had meetings with contractors every night this week. We also have someone working on our roof, who keeps popping in intermittently because he can't seem to fix the problem. My FIL is coming over everyday as well to meet the contractors with my husband and he just kind of putters around the house. I love my in laws, especially my FIL, but I just want my house back to myself. I'm a very private person and I don't like people in my house, especially strangers and unexpected visitors. Yesterday I had to tell my husband to wrap it up because he and his dad were talking for almost 45 minutes about what the contractor said after he left, and it was dinner time. Today I went home for my dinner break at work, and my husband didn't even say hi to me except for when I was backing out of the driveway heading back to work, even though the contractor had been gone for 20 minutes.

I'm happy that our house is finally going to be repaired. I just don't know why it has to be now. I was really hoping to enjoy the rest of my summer. It's already August and I feel like I've done nothing relaxing or enjoyable so far. We're going away next week, but I can't help but think that my husband will just be preoccupied thinking about the house. And the kicker is that who knows if any of the work is going start (or finish) before the babies come. I really don't want to be living in a construction zone in my last trimester. And I really want to be able to set up the babies' room sooner rather than later.

Also, my husband's 90 year old grandmother keeps telling us about how she wants to babysit. She lives with my in-laws, so she would never really be alone with the babies, but the woman can barely walk - I don't want her handling my very fragile infants. No one has spoken up about the fact that she lacks the capacity to babysit, and although I've kept my mouth shut, I just want to scream "No!" She seems to think that we'll be calling them all the time and they'll be over everyday to help us, but I don't think that will be the case. I'm a very capable woman and I know we will work out a routine. We have to figure this out on our own, and I think constantly having family over will stress me out even more. I know I should be gracious and we will need help at some point, but I just want to tell everyone to back off.

Hopefully a week at the beach will help me relax and chill out a bit. Some days I just want to tell everyone to **** off and just leave me alone. Ahh. Thanks for letting me vent!
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August 7th, 2013, 04:12 PM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,923
Ugh. Well, let's hope it's all done quickly and that you can relax once babies get here knowing that the contractors won't be banging around and interrupting nap time. Plus, it'll be nice to not have so many strangers around them when they're little. That makes me super nervous.

You may want to have a calm conversation and ask your husband what he thinks about his grandmother wanting to babysit and your concerns about people being there every day. If you start the conversation now, it would be less "threatening" since there are several months to wrap his head around it. You may also be surprised to find out that he has similar thoughts and just hasn't expressed them. He might even change his mind once those sweet little ones get here. My dh's ideas about who was good enough to be around and watch the kids changed once the girls were here and he realized how precious they were. If you find out that he's thinking the same thing at least you will have one less things to worry about.
Wife to sweet husband Jeff and mother to 2 beautiful girls: Emily (2) and Jocelyn (1).

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August 7th, 2013, 04:45 PM
JulieMc's Avatar Loving my babies. :)
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,004
Better to get it done now than when the babies are here, because they add a whole different element to the nightmare that is having your house worked on. Your husband is probably thinking about the babies and how it should get done, or at least started before they are here......

It's too early to be stressing out about who'll be over or not. Let his grandma keep saying she wants to babysit...doesn't mean you have to go along with it. You can sort that stuff out later when the time comes.
SweetiePeas and Tarheelbluii like this.

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August 7th, 2013, 04:57 PM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CO
Posts: 18,447
I know it's rough to have your home invaded, and I hope they aren't putzing around, but I agree with Julie... even though it's an inconvenience now it will be a HUGE inconvenience when babies are here already. The big thing, then, is to stay on top of them (either through your DH or FIL) to make sure things are done efficiently. NO need to waste time and extend this out any longer than need be! ((HUGS))

As for the grandmother... well, she may be a bit in denial about what she can and can not do, which is probably why no one's said anything. Let her dream about a time when she could manage babysitting twins. You know in your heart it won't happen, and when she sees how much work they are during the times you DO visit, she probably won't bring it up, or if she does, no one will take her seriously. It's hard growing old, and I hope she's just so excited that she's trying to let you know in her own way that she wishes she could be of help. Maybe, deep down, she knows it will never happen, anyway
lily26 and Tarheelbluii like this.
Gwynne, celebrating the newest of our four precious miracles

Hat's off to Vicki for my cute siggy, thank you!
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August 7th, 2013, 06:28 PM
Expecting our 1st and 2nd
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 983
Thanks ladies! I know the home improvements are for the best, and it'll be better to get them out of the way now. I also know DH's grandmother is just excited about spending time with the babies. I'm just extra irritable and hormonal. Thanks for listening!
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August 7th, 2013, 06:36 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,722
I know how frustrating remodeling and things can be, at least you won't have to worry about it after baby is born.

I pretty much agree with everything Juliemc said.(((hugs)))
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August 8th, 2013, 02:06 AM
hugssandi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,033
~jealous~ of your home repairs going on and WISH IT WERE MEEEEEE!!!!
More people fail from a lack of encouragement than anything else!~ Mrs. James Hendry

I'm a Mary in a world of Marthas~Carol Barnier

I think you are too kind. Kind people give the people around them a hard time. You can't express yourself honestly, because you are worried about hurting other people's feelings, and that makes you miserable.~"Winter Sonata"
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August 8th, 2013, 04:32 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: CA
Posts: 728
I'd kill for your "problems" lol.

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