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Experienced moms: Is it normal to feel this way?

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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October 25th, 2013, 11:26 AM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: St Louis, MO
Posts: 493
I have a history of depression (still on meds) and the last 3-4 days have felt just overwhelmed and scared I won't be able to take care of my two girls. I'm super teary and am questioning whether I'm bonded to them.

I'm really not sure if this is in the realm of normalcy for a first time mom of two or if I should be concerned about post partum depression.

I already have appointments with a postpartum counselor and my psychiatrist next week, but am just curious what others experiences have been...

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October 25th, 2013, 11:38 AM
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 166
I think being overwhelmed by emotions at this stage can be normal. I dont really have any experience w/ true depression or PPD but I think you are on the right track being proactive in talking w/ someone. Hang in there. I am sure you will be a wonderful mother to your girls As far as the emotional part. I have about an hour long drive home which gives me to much time to think. I have cried on the way home a time or two We are just emotional right now.

Mom to 3 and an angel

Tristan 4/96
Jack 9/10
Katie 11/13

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October 25th, 2013, 11:44 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 32,940
I don't have any experience with depression.

But it sounds totally normal that having twins as your first babies would be overwhelming! I am glad you are going to talk to someone and we are always here too.
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October 25th, 2013, 11:45 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 4,519
I think it's totally normal. I just felt kind of insane, and tired, and overwhelmed and like "what the heck did I do?" for quite a while.
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October 25th, 2013, 11:54 AM
FairyDustMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 4,471
This is normal, at least for me.
After having DD I was overwhelmed .. Still traumatized from labor and when she would cry in middle of the night I would wake up wanting to cry myself. I ha no time for myself .. Had problems sleep.. Was just a disaster.
I promise it does get easier .. You just have to stay positive and take it one day at a time. I experienced this with one child I'm sure it a lot more difficult with two.
Hang in there and you can always vent and lean here for support
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October 25th, 2013, 01:52 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,604
Yes, you are normal! Having a baby is a life altering experience! Having two is baptism by fire! Getting extra support like you are is a good idea. There is a hormone crash after having a baby that makes moms feel unstable. The hormone crash after twins is even higher!
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Laura, homeschooling mama to Christine 1-02, Nicole 5-03, Everett 4-09, Alister 9-10, Moira and Giselle born October 24, 2013!

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October 25th, 2013, 01:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 1,320
I suffered from depression as a teen, but not after that. However, after my DD1 was born, I had intense emotions for 10 days or maybe 2 weeks- and she was an easy newborn, too. I would just sit in the shower and cry about how I couldn't do it, she was a stranger, I was screwing everything up. It went away pretty abruptly. So, I'd say it's well within the range of normal.

But, given your history, you're taking the right steps just in case it's more serious!

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October 25th, 2013, 04:06 PM
Txmom4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,935
I think you have the baby blues, that's normal. But if it doesn't go away or gets worse then maybe PPD, but right now sounds like the baby blues. Glad you are talking to someone next week, that's the first step!

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October 25th, 2013, 05:16 PM
ducksaresnazzy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: new york
Posts: 2,479
i'm feeling overwhelmed and scared with one baby- i don't even want to imagine what it'd be like bringing home two. so yeah, i think it's a pretty normal reaction. i don't have any experience with ppd, but i battled/ am battling depression, so there's that. part of the reason i want a natural birth is because i'm afraid once she's out, i'll lose this bond i feel to her, and i want her to stay in for as long as possible to avoid that.
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October 25th, 2013, 06:12 PM
polarbearmama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Maine
Posts: 2,645
I have struggled with anxiety/depression for much of my life and had severe PPD after DD was born. But to be fair, I had not been on meds for years before that and wasn't on meds throughout my pregnancy. Luckily, I had a very astute doctor, therapist and wonderful family that made sure I was put on the right meds and had the right kind of support. This time around I proactively went on meds to help with after the birth. I'm really hoping it will make a difference.

I'm so glad you're able to reach out to this group of ladies and also that you're getting help from your PP counselor and psychiatrist. I think this will make a big difference. I cannot imagine having two babies as a FTM, so I bet this is really normal.

Do you have any help around at home? As hard as it might be to ask for help or feel like you're out of control, get all the help you can get! The sleep deprivation on top of all the other demands of feeding, changing, etc. is an extremely big learning curve. But...the good news is that it DOES get better! Hang in there and we're all here rooting for you! *hugs*

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October 25th, 2013, 06:28 PM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: St Louis, MO
Posts: 493
Thank you all for the support. I'm really hoping that the feelings will improve in a week or so. Everyone says they will, but after having experienced really bad depression, its just scary to feel like you could be going back there.

My mom is going to be here pretty m uch all week next week so I'm hoping that will help get me over the hump too. Just so worried that at some point I won't be able to handle it, but know its crazy to worry about that before it happens. Just hard not to though...

Changing and feeding two babies and then pumping takes about 1.5 hours, so it only gives me about an hour between the start of feedings to sleep or do anything else. DH is helping with feedings at night so that cuts down on the time a little, but its still very little sleep and nothing solid since I have to get up and pump even if he feeds both of them.

It's hard and I'm trying to give myself permission to be overwhelmed and know that things will get better, but, like I said, they're scary feelings and hard to ignore...
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October 25th, 2013, 08:42 PM
hotpinkheels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,994
You are doing so great- even if it doesn't feel like you know which end is up!! I think your feelings are totally normal, valid, and understandable.

Sounds like you have some GREAT supports in place with DH and mom, plus your counselor and psych appts next week. You can always pop in here or on FB to check in with us, too.

You are doing great, mama.
Baby Heels 11.6.13
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October 26th, 2013, 08:41 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,849
i've been on the the dark side of depression and i understand the fear you speak of. these last two days have been horrendous for me emotionally since having the babies and i don't even have them here to overwhelm me. though not having them here overwhelms me. i've cried so much that it's ridiculous and, yes, scary. i'm giving myself about 2 weeks to get a hold of these emotions b/c, from what i understand, two weeks is the normal time for baby blues. but also, given how abrupt their entrance was into the world instead of a slow (or at least planned) entrance, i'm feeling really off kilter. sometimes i think i'm still pregnant and when i don't feel a kick beneath my hand, it's "oh" and i get sad. i haven't even held my daughter or fed my children. i just pump and hope to get back to the hospital so that they'll be able to use it.

i didn't mean to hijack your post but i did want you to know you're not alone. give yourself time to feel and it's good you have a plan in place.
Shana, mom to DS1 (17), DS2 (14), DD (0) and DS3 (0)
Joining and in November 2013
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October 27th, 2013, 09:24 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
Even as an experienced mom, I feel your anxiety/depression over here! Having two at the same time has to be extremely hard, physically and emotionally. Couple that with previous depression issues, and its got to be over the top, for ANYONE! I also have had issues with on/off depression over the years, but have been med free for over 5yrs now. Having had 4 baby's in the last 3yrs has proven to be a difficult task for me as well. My baby blues last anywhere from 2wks to 3mo. Your not alone!
momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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October 27th, 2013, 10:08 AM
BlessednHighlyFavored's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 7,296
I just wanted to offer my love and support and remind you that we are here <3

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October 28th, 2013, 07:06 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 4,519
I think it's important to remember that you don't need to do anything else. If all you do is feed and change them and get a bite to eat yourself you are doing a great job. Everything else you should leave to someone else! Just surviving the day with one baby is a feat, taking care of 2 is a major accomplishment!
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