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So all day May 18th I was waiting and pacing and trying to fill my day with as much repeat television as I could to pass the time. DF was working that day and had been hoping all week that I would call him with THE CALL saying that it's time. But no such luck. We have bags of clothes, pillows, the laptop, and plenty of snacks ready to go. The dogs are off at their designated babysitters. Ready to go! Ready for weeks! We got to the hospital right at 8pm.
I was given a room immediately which was GREAT. No dealing with triage or trying to convince anyone that I was in labor. We got settled in and spent the next couple of hours getting set up to an IV (which was AWFUL, my nurse tied a tourniquet and took so long to get the needle in). We went over options for induction and I was adamant about not having pitocin right away. Cytotec was the first route and when they put it in, holy cow it was not pleasant. I was due for another dose sometime during the night/early morning but they told me I could wake up in labor and things could get going. Way to get my hopes up. But they did forewarn me that induction could take three days. Not a chance it would take that long for me, though, right? Went to sleep excited and happy.
I was given another dose of the cytotec which hurt AGAIN and went back to sleep. In the morning I was not happy with getting another vaginal dose so they gave it to me orally. We ordered breakfast and I was told to hurry through it so we could get things going. I am not a fast eater. Eating fast makes my stomach upset. My whole digestive tract gets messed up. I did not eat my breakfast fast. I ate it faster than I usually would, but definitely not fast enough for them. Throughout the rest of the day I was allowed to walk, bounce on the ball, and basically carry on as normal as long as my body allowed it. There was some cramping, like bad period cramping, but very manageable. I loved my 'pain' water cup that let me gauge out high up my pain level was. Towards the evening we decided that the cytotec done and it was time for Pitocin. They started it up and nothing happened for a while. Monday was a fairly boring day. Ordered lunch, ordered dinner. I was pretty happy and still excited. A little bummed that I hadn't dilated anything further than a 1 yet. Every single check was a disappointment. Went to sleep.
I don't remember if I was just sleeping light or if I was just super relaxed, but I was awake at 2am with severe cramping. It was happening every five to ten minutes. DF was sleeping on the fold out bed just a few feet from me but I had to yell at him to wake him up. It was hurting just enough to not be able to sleep. We called a nurse in maybe an hour or two later and they gave me something that was supposed to help me relax enough to get a little bit of sleep. Did not work. So they brought in some Ambien (to which I protested because I was afraid it would make me sleepwalk but they gave me a low enough dose that it didn't happen) and I was able to get maybe two hours of decent sleep.
Oooooooh this is when everything started downhill. For breakfast I ordered applesauce and cottage cheese. Was able to take a couple bites of applesauce. Time for more walking. Oh sweet jesus. Whoever said to walk...screw you. I could have walked around the earth. That baby was not coming out. I was doing pretty good for the first quarter of the lap but had to stop for the breather. Then good for the second quarter. Took a breather. Good for the third quarter. Took a breather. The last quarter was not so fun. All of a sudden there was incredible pain like someone had just kicked me in the groin. I tried to sit in one of the hallway chairs. Worst idea ever. The pain intensified so much that DF had to help me force myself up out of it. I felt better squatting on the hallway bar. We tried to walk as fast as possible back to the room. I was checked again. Still a 1. We tried another lap. Still a 1. The pain was getting ridiculous but I was under the assumption that that meant something was happening. Nope. They knew I wanted a water birth but they didn't want to put me into a bath until I was further dilated. They said they didn't want my body to relax and stop any progress we had made. So we put the birthing ball in the tub and ran the shower. DF was able to direct the water stream to where I needed it on my lower back. That worked fine for about 20 minutes, I think? My sense of time completely disappeared. Eventually the water didn't work anymore because the water wouldn't get as hot as I was requesting. I like really hot showers.
Back to bed for a rest. More cervical checks. SO PAINFUL. And STILL at 1. I was so disappointed and so frustrated that all that pain was adding up to nothing. That fact that nothing was happening was worse than the pain. Before noon, I think, I had finally tapped out. I could not justify the pain with nothing happening. It seemed as though they couldn't justify it either. The baby's heart rate was having some dips that were fairly worrisome. Nurses kept flooding in. I was turned from one side to another. Someone came in to have me sign a form for a c-section ahead of time so I wouldn't have in the heat of the moment if it happened. Finally the anesthesiologist came in and did his whole explanation between my contractions. There goes my hopes of a water birth. I signed and they got to work. My happy place was my dogs but I still twitched when they put the big needle in. Give it ten minutes they said.
Ten minutes went by and NOTHING was happening. Even with my little magical button. Every time a contraction came, it was lasting way too long and I could feel myself slowly pulling out my hair. My body was just not relaxing between contractions so it all felt like one long contraction. Baby's heart rate kept dipping. Anesthesiologist came back. They gave me lidocaine, they gave me fentanyl (woohoo, because I knew it would do SOMETHING), and they upped my epidural. Eventually it started working but I was still feeling some pain. Much better than before though. I got an hour of sleep, they flipped me from side to side to get the medicine to distribute better. Baby's heart rate still dipped a few times and the room kept flooding with nurses. My legs were completely numb so I was of almost no use with the flipping. The oxygen mask was utilized and that's when DF got scared. It's not what he or I expected. I was in pain, the baby was getting distressed, and there was nothing he could do about it. There were a couple tears.
They had a monitor on the baby's head. I had so many tubes and wires around me. It was a mess.
But at LAST things started going. Really fast. It seemed like every hour was dilating about two centimeters and it was GREAT. It was so amazing to finally hear, 'You're at a two!' 'You're at a four!' 'You're at a six! No wait, I just stretched you to an eight!' 'Hey let's get you ready to push!'
I pushed on my back...the last position I had wanted to do but with the epidural, that's the only position I was able to do. We tried to get me on all fours, but I couldn't get my legs to do anything. It was about an hour total of pushing. It seemed like they kept telling me that they could ALMOST see the head, he was ALMOST crowning, he's ALMOST here. I hate that word now. All of a sudden someone was putting all of their weight on my stomach. They told me to push, push. DF told me to push and I yelled back, 'What does it look like I'm doing!?' Then again with the stomach. They told me to push and I yelled at them that I couldn't when they were pushing on my stomach. And again with the stomach. Finally he was out. At 5:49pm. His shoulders had gotten stuck which I guess was the reason for the beating my stomach got. I don't remember who was all around me but there were a lot of people. It was such a relieving feeling, like the biggest bowel movement ever. I feel back and cried. I was so happy it was over. I looked up a couple times but my vision was wonky. He didn't cry. They cut the cord and he was whisked over to the french fry warmed a few feet away. Still no crying. There was a whole team over there. I can't figure how many minutes went by but he finally cried. They said he needed substantial respiratory assistance. DF said he was very limp when he came out.
They wrapped him up and brought him over to me. Ho hum, no skin to skin. I handed him back so he could go down to the NICU.
The placenta was actually kind of cool because I could feel it coming out. I pushed and felt it come out. Didn't really feel him come out.
I got one stitch. After getting cleaned up we were able to get me wheeled down to the NICU to see him.
No water birth, no skin to skin, no breastfeeding.
We later found out that I could have walked the earth, bounced a birthing ball flat, drank my weight in pregnancy tea...he wasn't going to come out on his own. His endo conditions were preventing him from knowing it was time to come out and with my body not relaxing before I got the epidural, we were basically at a brick wall. But sometimes I wonder if they had just let me get in the bath if it would have had the same progressive effect as the epidural. But without my body relaxing to at least somewhat help things, the c-section was a very real thing.
And...that's it, I think. The beginning of a very rough start.
Auden James 8lbs 12oz
Last edited by LUSHaye; October 11th, 2014 at 09:21 AM.