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Forum: Due Date Club of February 2015

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  #1  
July 9th, 2014, 02:35 AM
dreaming_of_baby's Avatar cupcake monster
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 509
I understand if no one wants to answer....

Is having another baby or your first whichever applies, is it going to be a financial strain for you? I honestly don't know how we're going to make it. It keeps me up sick at night. We thought Dh was sterile so this was so unplanned> I have been up racking my brain at night for things to cut to save money. It doesn't help that DD birthday & Christmas will be coming up, she'll be starting school, along with us having to buy a new car. I feel like crying everyday. Ok I just had to get this off my chest.
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  #2  
July 9th, 2014, 03:12 AM
Sahoko's Avatar It's ANOTHER Boy!
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 650
I worry as well. Mainly because I have to move out of this 1br apt because it's illegal to have more than 3 in 1br.. and that's gonna at least be $200+ more a month right there and my SO is the only one working... :[
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  #3  
July 9th, 2014, 05:45 AM
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I've been there before. I worried endlessly about it. Truth be told, it will work itself out hun. Things have a way of working themselves out, even when it seems totally impossible.
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  #4  
July 9th, 2014, 06:51 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 538
Daycare is what will be hard for us. We have no wiggle room in our budget, and when this one goes to daycare in August 2015, we will have to find around an extra $800/month. Not sure where that's coming from. I'm a teacher so no way am I getting a raise like that. And my husband's job probably won't either, so it will interesting. I'm trying not to stress too much about it since it's a year away. In the meantime we are trying to save for my maternity leave so we can afford our mortgage.
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  #5  
July 9th, 2014, 07:13 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 529
Totally stressing!!

My daughter has been involved in All-Star Cheer, which we barely were able to pay for. It's something she loves and now she won't be able to. It's the easiest way for us to cut the budget, plus in January - April are competitions many hours away from home. Yet, I feel awful about it. I feel she is being punished.


I'm hoping the baby clothes we had are ok and usable, they've been in the basement for 9-12 years. We have a list of things we need to buy. Our crib didn't survive 2 kids. Plus it would've been recalled anyway. We need car seat, swing, baby bath. I think our stroller is ok. Eek!!! I don't expect a shower or family to do anything. It will be hard.
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  #6  
July 9th, 2014, 07:17 AM
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We're also going to struggle on the day care front. It stresses me out just thinking about it. Right now my DD goes to a sitter who's daughter starts school full time in the fall, so I don't know what we're going to do about her come September never mind adding a second one to the mix. And daycare around here is so expensive. It's like $300/week per kid - and those are the cheap ones.
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  #7  
July 9th, 2014, 07:31 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: South Australia
Posts: 595
Finances are tight around here but I am a firm believer that things will work out. I am doing some study now, so am hoping to be able to work by the time this one is 2. In the meantime, my SIL is teaching me the art of op shopping and I am becoming adept at finding bargains. So much baby stuff is sold second hand that is hardly used so am keeping an eye out on sites for the few things we need.

As for day care with the rebates we are eligible for it is affordable for a day or two a week, which is what I will do for DS next year, DD will be starting school, so that will be great.

I do worry about money and the cost of living here is always increasing. With the new government coming in there are a lot of changes proposed for our welfare scheme which are terrifying, so long term I am trying to put plans in place.
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  #8  
July 9th, 2014, 07:50 AM
rabbitranch's Avatar est. 2000
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Location: central FL
Posts: 13,781
Just remember that baby doesn't "need" most of the junk they sell out there. You find ways to adjust that you never thought possible. If things are really tight, try seeking out help from your local churches for baby supplies. I know in our town the big Catholic church will set a mom up with a car seat, clothes, diapers, and the like for free.

It will all work out.
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  #9  
July 9th, 2014, 08:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JNIEVES View Post
We're also going to struggle on the day care front. It stresses me out just thinking about it. Right now my DD goes to a sitter who's daughter starts school full time in the fall, so I don't know what we're going to do about her come September never mind adding a second one to the mix. And daycare around here is so expensive. It's like $300/week per kid - and those are the cheap ones.
I TOTALLY understand the financial stress, especially on the daycare front. I definitely wake up at night worrying about it. We currently pay $2100/month for the twins, and now we'll be adding another $1k/month on top of it. NO CLUE how to make that work. There's just nowhere else to squeeze money from. Not to mention needing cars that will carry a third car seat. It's overwhelming. But, as everyone else has said, we'll make it work. We have to.
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  #10  
July 9th, 2014, 08:28 AM
valentinemommy's Avatar aka GreenMomma
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,431
I hadn't wated to talk about this, but since we are going there...it took us 7 months to conceive this LO and last week dh got fired. I still haven't accepted it, because I am in utter shock. We were stable, everything was fine...we finally get pregnant and NOW this happens?? We can get by for a bit, but we're not prepared for no income at all. We just made a 400mile move and are trying to settle here, but now we may lose our new house. You put 2 kids that need school clothes next month, and the fact that I have zero baby items, my doctor is an hour drive each way, etc, etc. I'm on the edge of insanity right now. This was not supposed to happen!

But...We've been through tough situations before and I know we'll figure it out. It still sucks, but even if you completely land on your ***, you just get back up again. And trust me, your kids will appreciate your endurance. They see it, even if they aren't old enough to truly understand it yet. It's all part of the joys/struggles of parenting...funny how they go together lol.
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Last edited by valentinemommy; July 9th, 2014 at 10:53 AM.
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  #11  
July 9th, 2014, 08:47 AM
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It will work out. I quit my job that was stressing me out thinking i would get a new job easy. that wasnt the case. and was a bad move but that job had me sick. i then found out i was pregnant. but thankfully i got hired for a new job. which i start next week making even more money and good benefits. im not really depending on this babys father because im not even sure he will be around. so this new job is a lifesaver. have faith. it will definitely all work out for all of you.
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  #12  
July 9th, 2014, 10:51 AM
mumto6boys's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Louisiana
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Like others have said it works itself all out. You learn to do away with things you thought you couldn't live without and then find ways to budget or cut corners elsewhere. Last year when my husband was diagnosed with End Stage Renal Failure I was already not working and suddenly he had to quit his job as well bc he was so sick. We had to sell our home and move in with my parents for a while. We eventually got into our own place again & even though we only have his disability and pension that we are living on (half of what the 2 of us made together before) we somehow make due. I've always been a bargain shopper and I scour children's second hand stores like Once Upon A Child for like new items. I also check Craigslist and garage sales. I got my crib on CL for $100 and it's like a $1200 crib! Also local FB buy, sell, trade groups are great for like new bargains. I also suggest breastfeeding bc it's free! Think of switching to Netflix instead of having traditional cable. Evaluate how often you eat out (Starbucks and fast food counts too) and cut that to no more than once a month. Do you have a home and cell phone? If so cut off the landline. Who needs those anymore really when your cell is always in reach? Plus others are right you don't need most of the fancy baby stuff that's out there. I don't plan on buying an infant carseat/carrier combo. They are heavy and bulky and frankly inconvenient if you ask me. I'll use a convertible carseat that will last him until he's a toddler and use my Ergo to carry when I go places and he needs carrying. Also for those of you who do daycare? Have you ever considered that you may be just working so you can put your children in daycare and at the end of the day you aren't really bringing home any Net income from working after you budget out the cost of working? I did that once and actually quit working for a year bc after paying for 3 kids in daycare, lunches during the day, gas to and from work/daycare, etc I was only contributing around $100 to the household bills. It's something to think about. Trust me if Dh and I can make it work on our meager budget with 6 going on 7 kids then I think anyone can. You just have to be willing to give up some of the things that you've grown accustomed to and then have faith that the rest will work itself out.
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  #13  
July 9th, 2014, 10:59 AM
Scarlet Starlet's Avatar Teleport Birthing Founder
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momopotamus View Post
I've been there before. I worried endlessly about it. Truth be told, it will work itself out hun. Things have a way of working themselves out, even when it seems totally impossible.
This.
I wouldn't say I spend time worrying about it, but every once in a while I do have a little thought about how tight things are going to be. I am expecting a promotion soon and the raise would go a long way towards helping with our new household expenses once the baby comes.
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  #14  
July 9th, 2014, 11:22 AM
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Another worry I have is the medical bills. We can get by without a lot for the baby, but bills will need paid. When I had my other two our private insurance was a copay and then the rest was covered 100%. Now we have like a $3,000 deductible and then 80/20! I've almost met my deductible from my other health issues and testing, but I think it will restart with the new year. FML. My bill with my son was $30k which was all covered. If it is similar we could have a $6k hospital bill. *faint* It makes me feel sick.
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  #15  
July 9th, 2014, 11:28 AM
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Originally Posted by GreenGeek View Post
Another worry I have is the medical bills. We can get by without a lot for the baby, but bills will need paid. When I had my other two our private insurance was a copay and then the rest was covered 100%. Now we have like a $3,000 deductible and then 80/20! I've almost met my deductible from my other health issues and testing, but I think it will restart with the new year. FML. My bill with my son was $30k which was all covered. If it is similar we could have a $6k hospital bill. *faint* It makes me feel sick.
Your insurance is exactly the same as mine, and yes, it's enough to make you feel sick. We had substantial NICU costs with ours, and although you always hope you won't have them again, I'm all for planning for the worst financially, just to be prepared. But it gets totally overwhelming. I'm already stressing about incurring cerclage costs next month (epidural, operating room, etc....we'll get charged our entire $3k deductible just for that....no clue how to cover that). I just try not to think about it and pretend it will all go away. Productive and healthy, huh?
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  #16  
July 9th, 2014, 11:37 AM
Babylove2015's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Canada
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I can relate I'm on the job search now it will work out
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  #17  
July 9th, 2014, 11:41 AM
MistyLynn85's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 424
This might get long...

Even though my husband and I have been together for 5 years and we've been married since October, we still have seperate checking accounts. It is my choice and I've been VERY firm about it. Jeff hates it, but I'm very stubbornly independant. With that being said, it still works out to be 'even'. Jeff makes about 5 times more than I do, so he pays all of our bills- mortage, both cars, utilities, groceries, etc. I pay for health insurance on myself and our girls, daycare ($1260 a month for 2) and all of my 7 year olds dance stuff. I also pay for most her of school fees, clothes, shoes, etc. I really dont have much left over when its all said and done. Sometimes I feel like me working is pointless, because most of my money goes to daycare, but what I contribute does add up. Anyway, with a new baby on the way, I dont think me working will pay off. Daycare would be right at $2,000 a month. I just can not see paying that much for daycare! I do feel guilty though, because I hate that it'd all fall onto my husband. We're blessed that he has a great, well paying job. We would make some rearrangements (we spend a LOT of eating out, random shopping and electronics) and honestly I dont think me being a stay at home mom will effect us much. But I would feel guilty, mostly about things for my 7 year old. Jeff isnt her bio dad, even though hes still very much daddy to her, so I've always tried to do everything for her myself. It drives him crazy and he helps everytime something is needed, but I dont ask or tell him what she needs. He just pitches in when he gets the chance and sees the need. I hope that makes sense? Lol. And I just cant see myself buying him a birthday gift or Christmas gift with his money (I know, its our money. But still...). Lol, thats just crazy to me! And Loralei's dance expenses add up fast! The monthly fee isnt so bad, but extras add up (parade attire, studio shirts, etc) and recital time gets crazy! I think I spent about $500 on recital this year, all in about 6 weeks time!

So all of that rambling ^^^ (lol) basically says that I think it'll be harder for me emotionally than it will be for us financially.
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  #18  
July 9th, 2014, 12:01 PM
riversongbella's Avatar Veteran
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Posts: 371
everything will work itself out (I have no idea how) I have freak outs here and there ... I know it's quite normal ... at least the medical is taken care of, this was my first financial freakout like how the h*ll am I going to afford co-pays and all this ... so first hurtle down ... next is figuring out how to pay for myself and baby as I am not going to be fitting into my clothes soon (but I am going to try trading in my clothes at shops and seeing about just getting credit there and getting larger sizes at consignment shops) ...

thankfully my family is known to throw big baby showers, and a huge help with supplying baby stuff so I am hoping they continue the trend with me (which financially that will be a huge huge help)

but I do remember there are some churches and organizations that offer free baby stuff to single moms (it's just finding them)

financially I have no idea how I'm going to afford an extra being if my partner doesn't pitch in but then again somehow things will work out ... I thought I was doomed to be nauseous 24/7 the whole pregnancy and today is the first day I feel "me" again ...

it's just taking one day at a time and trying not to get too overwhelmed
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  #19  
July 9th, 2014, 12:29 PM
PinkLove15's Avatar Denise
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I'm freaked out about the same. Boyfriend isn't working really and I'm on disability due to cerebral palsy. I am very fortunate to have the parents that I do. We live with them (not sure how much longer he'll live there but that's a whole other stressful story)and hopefully when baby is 7 months old I will get accepted to the school program I want to do. But until then money will be tight . I'm just doing the best I can
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  #20  
July 9th, 2014, 04:16 PM
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This will be our 2nd...we are praying I still have a job at the end of my pregnancy. My job is very precarious right now and it's not looking good. My DH's job is great, and he makes good money, but not quite enough for me to stay home. Plus the fact that he is trying to relive the childhood he was denied and spends crazy amounts of money we don't have despite trying to pay off debt so that I can quit. We only have daycare until May of 2015, at which point my SIL can't help us anymore. Daycare's here are $200/week for infants, and $175/week for toddlers...and they won't allow part time - it's 8 to 5/6 M-F or nothing. If we do that, my DH never gets to see his kids due to his work schedule (he works evenings one month, days the next and swing another or some combo of them). If we didn't have his Student Loans and the new Car payment, I'd be able to stay home and we'd be mostly okay as I craft and can sell most of what I make. But the way it looks now, I'm going to have to keep working, and my paycheck will just barely cover the weekly daycare, so it makes no sense to keep working...I'd have to get a 2nd job to make up what we'll lose. It is stressful.

I'm with some of the other posters as well, I've been buying things 2nd hand, and I refused to sell anything of my DS's "just in case". Husband thought I was nuts, now he doesn't lol. The only things I'm leary of purchasing 2nd hand are carseats, you never know if they have been in an accident, people sadly lie about that stuff. But clothes, cribs, bouncers, all that stuff, I've been doing 2nd hand. Even a lot of the stuff my first DS got was second hand from my sister and we loved it!!

Good luck to you!
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