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Unplanned Angel


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  #1  
October 12th, 2010, 06:10 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3
I am a very young girl, just recently turned 18, and am madly in love with this boy. Of course we fooled around, thought it was safe....then I had suspcions that I was pregnant. I knew I wanted children, but not at his age, I still grew attached to the idea and knew I wasn't going to give this baby up. I would take responsibility and care for it, love it and take care of it to the very end and the father was stepping up as well..

Tragically today I woke up with stomach pains, very bad, and ended up taking a ride to the hospital. After awaiting my results, I finally found out that my dreams were gone, and the angel I was waiting for was gone... I would never see it.

I was only about a month in, but this tore me up so bad, broke my heart into a million pieces, and the father is just as broken. Heres a couple poems I wrote for my unborn;

I would have called you Ezra

I would have called you Ezra

Held to your beauty and grace

I would have kissed you on the nose

And felt warm with that smile on your face



I would have held you in my arms

Let you see the world

I would have held you to the sky

spun you around in twirls



I would have loved you endlessly

But I guess God had other plans

You would have meant the world to me

and I still just dont understand



Why did you have to be taken from me

It just doesnt seem quite fair

I guess ill finally see you one day

When I too, climb heaven's stairs









Little Angel

Hello mommy, I just stopped in for a while

to tell you I love you

And i'm sorry you couldn't see my smile

or hold me close to you



And this heartache that you have...

Makes this angel, so very sad...

Just remember, and always know...

You're strong enough to let me go



Maybe some day you'll get a chance

To hold another, and understand

That internal love a mother can give

When she has the blessing of having a kid



Goodbye mommy, I hope you see

God only had a little plan in mind for me

I have to go now, I love you so

Maybe I will see you when its your time to go




Please tell me how to cope.
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  #2  
October 12th, 2010, 09:54 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
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I am so sorry that you lost your angel today. The best advice I can give is to give yourself time and don't rush it no matter what anyone says. Take it one day at a time or one hour whatever helps you get through it. With time it will get easier. You are also more than welcome to post on the main board and ask questions of any of us. You can also add your angel to the memorial thread if you like.
Your poems are very beautiful.
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  #3  
October 13th, 2010, 07:01 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
These brought me to tears. I also wrote poetry for my Cora. It's a good outlet, I think.

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  #4  
October 13th, 2010, 11:33 AM
Newbie
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3
Thank you both very much for your solace.
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  #5  
October 13th, 2010, 04:32 PM
RinkMom's Avatar Super Hockey Mom
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,524
Those poems are beautiful. I think your poetry is a good start as an outlet for your loss. It is sad to welcome another person experiencing the pain of a loss of a child but posting here on this board has also helped me cope.
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  #6  
October 28th, 2011, 12:33 AM
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 39
The first one made me cry, the second made me bawl. Im so sorry, I was in the same situation as you and it hurts so very bad. I hope you are doing better.
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