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The next step in grieving is finally knowing that you have reached resolution. This is part 2. The question you must ask is "How do I know if I am reaching resolution?" n Hopefully some of us are getting to this point. I did notice that there are some rather "to the point" statements and you may feel offended by them but as you get closer to resolution, you may be able to identify better.
"Acknowledge your loss."
It may seem silly to read this! Dr. Davis says that there should be no flicker or hope that there has been a mistake. It should be understood that your baby has passed.
"Understand how your baby died."
This is undoubtedly easier said than done as many of us know. It may be difficult to get answers and if none are provided, it is important that we understand that we are not in control of nature.
"Accept all your feelings."
Do not avoid ANY feelings. If you are denying yourself the right to feel certain emotions, you have not resolved this issue. Allow yourself to let go and not judge the emotions you are feeling.
"Experience the hurt and sadness."
Let it all out! Make sure that you have felt every emotion and are not harboring any feelings of anger, guilt, failure, etc.
"Change your expectations for the future."
Ask yourself if you have made the necessary changes attached to the hopes and dreams that involved your baby. Do not forget but understand that what was to be is not going to be any longer.
"Readjust to life without your baby."
Make sure that you find other ways to be happy and enjoy others. If you are still attaching happiness to your baby, then you may not have reached resolution.
"Change your emotional investment in your baby."
When you have resolved your grief, you have come to terms w/ your baby’s passing and are able to talk about him/her w/o falling to pieces.
"Form a new relationship with your baby."
If you still act as though your baby is still w/ you, then you are not ready for resolution. It is when you think about your baby as what could have been w/o trying to live out the fantasy that you are nearing resolution of your grief.
"Maintain an appropriate connection to your baby."
This occurs when you are able to think of the impact the baby had on your life and how he/she enhanced it rather than constant avoidance of certain things.
"Reinvest your emotional energy."
When you are able to create and maintain fulfilling relationships with others rather than avoid or refrain from that emotional commitment, you are concluding your grieving.