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What was the nicest thing done for you when you lost your baby?


The Comfort Spot

Tools for coping with your loss

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  #21  
July 22nd, 2006, 07:47 AM
irishxrose
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I didn't have much support for my loss. Jason just held and rocked me... and that was enough.
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  #22  
July 22nd, 2006, 04:54 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Michigan
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Joel has been really good overall - the first one he kind of stunk - but I don't think he knew what to do. This last one the nicest thing was when he laid in bed with me all day & napped - I felt much less alone.

My sister said to me " I will never forget your babies." (that makes me tear up now writing it). It was amazing how deep that touched me.

Overall I didn't receive very much outside support at all I feel IRL - so I don't have much to say on this thread. I felt far more alienation than compassion - so it's hard for me to conjure up much more than those 2 people that probably are the main ones that kept me from falling completely apart.

Other than that - I received amazing support here - particularly from Norina , Boxerlove1 (Robyn ), bcmomma (Pam ) and many other ladies.....I truly think this place made such a HUGE difference in how I was able to cope through my last loss - it was almost unbelievable - so by far - this place has been where I have received the most healing type of support.
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #24  
July 22nd, 2006, 07:17 PM
AGEESMOMMY's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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i too got flowers from a few people.. i thought it was very nice... but the nicest thing was from my little girl.. she said i could share her baby with her... becaue mine was in heaven
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  #25  
July 23rd, 2006, 08:47 AM
Astrid's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ladies ~ All of your stories has touched my heart! Even if it only a sentence, such as what Beck's sister said, it is so important that we feel validated in our pregnancies. I'm glad you all took the time out to write!
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  #26  
July 27th, 2006, 11:46 AM
Astrid's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I want to make sure our new members see this!
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  #28  
July 27th, 2006, 11:50 AM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Minnesota
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My husband planted a willow tree. He has a plan to build a graden around it in tribute. He already bought a pond kit. I can't wait to see it when he's all done. I am so touched by him.
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  #29  
July 28th, 2006, 08:36 AM
Astrid's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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OMG! CeCe, you have such a thoughtful little girl!

Tara ~ When he is finished, you will have to take a picture & share it with us!
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  #30  
July 28th, 2006, 04:49 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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The nicest thing done for me is actually kind of hard to explain. I go to this forum for fans of my favorite author (CJ Cherryh. I highly suggest her for anyone who likes science fiction!) I was on that forum all throughout my pregnancy, and little did I know how excited all of these people I had never actually met were for the arrival of my baby girl. I can honestly say that everyone there was devastated with me. One woman (who happens to be a good friend of CJ Cherryh herself) posted a message to everyone who wanted to send me something. She had everyone send their cards to to her and forwarded them on to me (she got my address from my father, who is also on the site). She even got CJ to write a message in a card to me.

I have 25 cards from them. I've not met any of them in real life. I was getting support from so many people that could be considered complete strangers.

And two days ago I recieved one late from someone else on the site. I just happen to have really needed it that day. I think that was the nicest thing. Although, my friends here all brought dinner to us for a week so we wouldn't have to worry about it. And my brother & sister-in-law and my neice and my sister came up from 4 hours away and spent the day after Cora was born with us.

I can't help but be grateful for all those who love me!
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  #31  
July 28th, 2006, 10:15 PM
tabitwhe's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Southern Louisiana
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I was very fortunate to have alot of family support.

My Dad who was never there for me (my grandmother raised me and my 3 siblings) was with me at the hospital the whole time. That in itself meant alot to me. But he also offered to pay for all the arrangements and half the headstone. Without that Im not sure what we would have done.

My best friend of 15 years was there with me every day as well. I hold told her before about a pretty blanket at wal mart that had sating lining around it and there was one for boys, girls, and either. When my husband called her early Sunday monring to tell her it was a boy, she went and bought the blanket for me to wrap him in.

Most of all, my husband has been very supportive. He wrote me a letter/poem. Im gonna share, I hope he dont get mad. He said he couldnt figure out what to say, but to me it was beautiful and perfect.

We give flowers to the ones that are gone. At the same time, there is a hole left in out heart that is also gone. When someone we love dies, a peice of us dies with them. So what I am trying to say is, let me be your flower to lay over the hole in your heart. I can't fill the hole thats left, but I can cover it with my love to help sheild it from more sorrow.

Okay, Im crying now. Gonna stop typing.

Tabitha
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  #32  
July 31st, 2006, 07:51 PM
Astrid's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Brittanie ~ WOW! I can't believe the support you have received. It seems as though you are a VERY LOVED woman!

Tabitha ~ That poem is beautiful. You should have it framed!
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  #33  
September 28th, 2006, 05:05 PM
*Firefly*'s Avatar Girlfriend and Blogger
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After I lost Charlie my S/O took me into London and he took me o a jewellary store, he bought me a St Christopher's pendent. He said to me "Wear this always because he will look after you when I am not there, he won't let this happen again to us, you are beautiful and i love you"

It was a beautiful moment but the grief did divide us sady in the end... we just couldn't cope.
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  #34  
March 1st, 2007, 04:09 PM
MyAngelHayden's Avatar Veteran
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Well My mom has been great through all of this. She has bought so many things for me in memory of Hayden. So I would say my mother has done the nicest things for me. But when I comes to strangers, I would have to say my neighbor. She lost her daughter full term a few years ago so she knew how I was feeling when I lost Hayden. She wrote me this note telling me all about her daughter (I never knew what happened) and told me that if I ever needed to talk, she is just a few doors down. I cried and it made me feel like I wasn't alone.
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<div align="center"><span style="font-family:Georgia">Heather(21) ~ Mommy to Angel Hayden</span>






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  #35  
March 7th, 2007, 06:40 PM
Astrid's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It is nice to know there is someone that understands. You should go over & talk to her. I bet you will start one amazing friendship!
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  #36  
March 7th, 2007, 11:17 PM
MyAngelHayden's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
It is nice to know there is someone that understands. You should go over & talk to her. I bet you will start one amazing friendship![/b]
Yea it would be nice to start a friendship BUT she is pregnant now, we were actually pregnant at the same time. She is due only a month after I was and she is having a little girl. Seeing pregnant women hurts me still and I can't imagine seeing her little girl and just knowing that my little girl would have been around the same age.
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<div align="center"><span style="font-family:Georgia">Heather(21) ~ Mommy to Angel Hayden</span>






*Hayden's Memorial Myspace*



</div>
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  #37  
August 21st, 2007, 07:49 PM
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The nicest thing done for me was when my friend Laura confided about her pregnancy loss and then told me she had something that could help. It was a bracelet from her mom; given at the time of her loss. Laura wore the bracelet everday after her loss until she had her daughter. She played with the bracelet, using it as a distraction when she thought of her miscarriage. She also used the bracelet to remind herself to think positive thoughts. I eagerly accepted Laura's offer to share in her bracelet. I wore it everyday, until my son was born.
-Sharon
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  #38  
November 28th, 2007, 01:55 PM
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My DH has been really nice, leting me stay in bed and things. But as know one knew yet no one can do anything.
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  #39  
November 29th, 2007, 08:36 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The absolute nicest thing was at my son's funeral. A gentleman who I knew, but didn't know well really (he and his wife are friends of parents, his daughter was a distant friend of mine in high school), came up to me and hugged me. He said, "I will help you remember your son." I remember those words all the time and know at least one other person is remembering Bryan Luke too. Wow, that still makes me cry.

Also, my mother has been widely supportive. My brother died when he was 12 (I was 6) and she could talk to me about losing a child. I think it actually brought us a lot closer.

My husband is amazing. He always asks me about how I'm doing. He talks about Bryan Luke a lot. He also suggested we buy Christmas gifts for a needy child this Christmas. He chose a boy who is 10 months old. It was awesome to go out and buy gifts for a boy who needs them since we aren't buying gifts for our son.

I've had a lot of support though... those are just the ones I think of first.
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  #40  
December 1st, 2007, 11:44 AM
NewportMamaBear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I feel that I am ready to post here now.

My best friend drove up to see me the day after...when her own daughter was still in the hospital. We sat and talked and cried and laughed together, and even just crocheted a little bit.

My husband put his hand on my hip while we tried to go to sleep the night that it happened. It was the sweetest and most caring thing he could have done at the time. He has also let me cry and have my space and talk about it freely.

A teacher at one of the schools I sub at, let me talk to her yesterday. She shared her story and told me to call her anytime if I needed anything. She was so excited for us. She even told me to give my husband a hug because she feels so bad that we had to go through this. She is a very sweet lady. She told me I am like the daughter she doesn't have.
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