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I didn't know where else to come for support but I feel like I have just been punched.
I was planning my son's birthday party on another board and mentioned that I was grieving somewhat (and I admitted the feeling was kind of silly, I just needed to vent it) that we couldn't order him a huge 1st b-day cake due to allergy reasons and we'll have to find a homemade solution.
This other lady came on and seemed to totally bash everything I said by saying that her kids have the same allergy and they go to 5 parties a month and eat regular cake and they go all of the places that we limit with our kids due to allergens and just went on and on that I was letting my child's allergy control my life and limit him in every way.
I never type like that, but that kind of thing makes me absolutely livid. Who is she to come onto an INTERNET message board and JUDGE somebody she has never even met. ooooh. I am so sorry that she did that to you. I totally understand your feelings about not being able to do a "real" cake, I feel the same way when we come up on bdays with my boys. You should be able to come up with a very similar cake to what you want; feel free to post a pic of what you want to do and let us help you figure out how.
I have found nothing but support to help me do the right thing for my kids health here on this board, this is an absolutely awesome group of ladies. Don't let somebody that ignorant get to you, that's all I am going to say about that.
That's nasty and just plain rude. The choices that you make for your own kids is the right choice. It's not her place to carry on about what she does - who cares. This is about your boy's 1st birthday and you will have a wonderful alternative cake and a fantastic party for him!
I agree with the previous posts that is very rude! Obviously she is ignorant about different severities of reactions and even the possibilities of allergens building up and causing even worse reactions. You know your child, you know what the doctor has told you about your child specifically so don't let it bother you.
Ruth - Wife to Scott, Mommy to Will (12/2007), James (3/2009), Ellie (11/2010), & Faith (9/2012)
I will post pics as soon as I have some. For now, the inspiration pic is this:
We have a lady who can bake this cake and another that can frost it. I need to coordinate it with light blue, aqua, green, yellow and orange decor. My only real lament is that the lady who frosts it only does a so-so job so it would probably be good if I could get premade letters like these or at least pastel confetti sprinkles to decorate an otherwise pretty plain cake. I have to find some that are for sure tree nut and peanut free. I read that Cake Mate may have some options.
I think to simplify things I will also have cupcakes or mini cupcakes with matching frosting/sprinkles so each baby can have their own cupcake. This is for Sergio's party and he will have about 8 other kids his age invited, and a few slightly older ones. I might get a cupcake tree to make them look prettier.
I have a small pan about 5" that I would like to do a round smash cake for him with as well. I actually will need 2, one for his party and one for his portraits on his real b-day.
I just want his first b-day to be as normal as possible!! It's hard enough without someone giving me more grief about it! Thank you so much for your kind words!!
My sister is getting a `normal`cake for niece`s first birthday this month, albeit nut free anyway. Then getting a smash cake for the baby without eggs. That solves both problems. A pretty cake for you & the nut free for the baby would work very well!
We have that with Danny. I have gotten grief so many times IRL for not letting him just have what he wants and let him live a little. Grrrr! I can sympathize with you completely! You are doing what is best for your LO and just because her kids don't have serious reactions doesn't mean yours don't. Good job for putting up with her mama!
I totally understand... If your child doesn't have severe allergies you just don't get it. No one in my life seems to get it. My daughter had TWO sips of soy milk the other day for an in office food challenge and had a biphasic anaphylactic reaction.. TWO sips! Also allergic to dairy, eggs, and anaphylactic to bananas. Having something they are allergic to can kill them so "letting them live a little" by having something they are allergic to can truly harm them. Enjoy your party and grieve all you want to.. it is very hard to accept that things aren't normal.. especially when you are planning a birthday party.
I hope your baby enjoyed its birthday. People like that are either trying to "fit in" with the allergry group (although I dont understand why) or looking for attention. For future reference some substitutions...For egg you can use banana or apple sauce...for milk/soy rice milk but use at least 1/2 of what the reciepe calls for bc of how thin it is....Nuts usually are optional..
AS for grieving I completely understand. My dd is allergic to milk/soy/sugar...We just found out about the sugar this summer. Taking her to parties is stressful for me. But I have a LOT of understanding friends. If we don't know the family too well we usually take our own snack/treat for her. Luckily none of her problems cause aniphlaxis but she gets horrible GI problems (explosive direah, vomitting)
I'm not sure what I'll do for her birthday this year. She is not supposed to have any type of sugar...so if we do decide to let her have a little bit we have to up her medication that helps her balance out....