WARNING: This thread discusses marital relations and female sexuality. I know that this is supposed to be a PG site, so I hope I'm not out of line with this post. Mods, feel free to move this to a private folder if you feel it's inappropriate.

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This is my first month charting, so DH and I have had to abstain from DTD the entire time to get the right mucus readings. I'm on my 4th dry day after my period right now, and I'm finding that knowing when I'm fertile definitely enhances my senses. I've been on BCP for the last 5 years, so the natural hormones and emotional roller coaster are a huge awakening for me (in a good way).

I never understood the whole "bouncing off the walls" thing if you don't have sex often enough, but today I totally get it. I'm expecting my mucus to start in a day or two and my libido has been insane! I guess that knowing when I'm fertile takes away that feeling of shame. I mean, now that I know that by body is biologically ready for sex at certain times of the month, it alleviates my worries that I'm a "bad girl" when I want to DTD.

I have a degree in Women's Studies, so I've spent my entire life telling myself that being sexual (especially with your husband!) isn't bad. But there's still those societal messages ingrained in me, the ones that say that even if I don't think I'm bad, I know everyone else does. I don't know, it's hard to explain. Maybe this isn't making sense.

Anyways, the last time I felt like this was when I was a teenager and hadn't gone on BCP yet. I'm just wondering if you all feel the same urges and think that they're heightened when you go off hormonal contraceptives.

I was on BCP and they decreased my libido permanently. I have no drive for sex hardly anymore and I have to force myself to do it just because it's the right thing to do for my husband. It's these times in which I feel I really harmed my body by taking those crappy things. I'm so glad that I found this though. I'm hoping that one day, my body will realize I'm not taking it BCP anymore and I can get that drive back. Still waiting after 8 years. LOL

The only time that I actually do FEEL something is during the week of ovulation. It's just a hint of something, but it's never a "I need to jump you now, or I'm going to burst" kind of feeling.

Before that, it was insane. I felt it all the time except after ovulation when my period was to start.

[LJD3Tdance]

I do have times my libido is for sure higher than other times. After having children my libido has never been the same, but it has times when it goes way up or way down even now.

[ShawnaCAN]

I've never taken hormones at all and my libido is, shall we say, very healthy. LOL It's definitely more noticeable when I'm fertile and that can make abstinence a challenge sometimes. But that challenge has strengthened our relationship SOOOO much and when we can come together again, it always feels so special. I would not trade that for anything in the world!

[JessP]

My libido goes into overdrive when I am in that fertile window I swear LOL. I also have a very healthy appetite anyway. Which is funny because women aren't normally the ones supposedly. But I think it can be. I wouldn't feel bad about it if I were you.

Thank you so much for your honest feedback, ladies. I'm so glad to know there are other women experiencing the same fluctuations, and it's also great to hear about women who have experienced a decrease in their libido after taking BCP. For now, I'm embracing my swings and inviting the hubby to help me with my "needs" during my fertile periods. It's really brought me back to life after being on BCP for so long.

[ChicaChels]

Originally Posted by feministwriter

Thank you so much for your honest feedback, ladies. I'm so glad to know there are other women experiencing the same fluctuations, and it's also great to hear about women who have experienced a decrease in their libido after taking BCP. For now, I'm embracing my swings and inviting the hubby to help me with my "needs" during my fertile periods. It's really brought me back to life after being on BCP for so long.

OT but what part of iowa are you in I live in Iowa too! I never see too many "Iowegians" on here

[SavaAngel]

It was hard on us in the beginning and will probably be hard on us again when we finally have another baby. I don't think my DH ever really got used to it (I was on the pill 6 years before I went off it and NTNP/not really charting and ended up with my son). When I was on the pill I never wanted to DTD! It is much better since I had my son.

When I was first learning it was imperative we were super careful (my son was a baby, breastfeeding, and finances were tight) so I think that helped to remind me that we weren't ready for another baby so soon. And actually when we began TTC #2 we weren't going to start that month but I told DH I was fertile and unless he wanted to start TTC that month we had to wait and apparently he wanted to start TTC! LOL

OT - Kelly - I have a friend that had decreased libido so much that they never did anything anymore. She went to a doctor with a whole list of symptoms and they tested her thyroid. You can still have thyroid problems if you are in the low range (her numbers were "normal" but the doctor put her on some meds for thyroid problems and things are getting better for her). It's worth looking into if you want to see if you can get that libido back.