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Okay, I just got my implanon out last monday, right? Well I bled most of the week then on Thursday didn't bleed at all, then Friday I spotted some more, then Saturday didn't bleed at all. I know the first bleeding wasn't a technical period since I started before I got the implanon out and they say you are fertile AS SOON as it comes out. So me and SO had planned on not doing anything for the first little while or so until I figured out my cycles, but last night we both got a little tipsy and he kept begging for it. I would try to say no and reason with him about why it was so irresponsible but he kept begging and touching and I was drunk so I loosened my defenses when I know I shouldn't have. Needless to say we DTD and he pulled out, because we didn't have any condoms on hand because we weren't planning on DTD anytime soon, but I am still so scared. He says he never wants anymore kids and I am scared that if something happened and I was pregnant that he would blame me. I want to try NEXT January and right now is so not the right time for this.
I don't blame him because I know it is my fault for not saying no and that I just gave in to please him (don't get me wrong I enjoyed it too lol). But I am still so upset with myself.
You shouldn't blame yourself. He did pull out, and even though the risks are higher chances are you are not pregnant.
What concerns me though is that you had said that he doesn't want anymore children, yet you plan to start TTC in January. Unless I am totally misunderstanding what you wrote and he doesn't want any right now.
Just make sure that you both have to understand that until you are more comfortable with charting your cycles then you really should abstain. It makes things really difficult at first when you DTD and use barriers because it does mess with your CF.
Both of you need to agree and if one wants it and the other doesn't, then someone has to be strong and either leave the room or hold firm on the decision.
When do you plan to start charting? Are you doing it now? or are you waiting for your first official AF.
I plan on trying to convince him to TTC in January lol, probably wont happen though.
I am charting but its confusing because I don't know what day I am exactly on because I haven't had my first official AF, but I have been charting temps it has jus been so confusing because they are everywhere from 97.2 to 97.9 then back around 97.6 I know its too early to see any pattern though.
You're not stupid. Family planning is his responsibility too and if he would rather engage in "achieving related behavior" then you can't be blamed if pregnancy occurs. I think the chances that you will actually conceive this fast after removal are pretty low. Your body has a lot of hormonal adjusting to do and that can take some time.
That said, I think it would be very helpful if you guys sat down and had a very honest talk about all of this - to make sure he understands the chances he's taking. It would probably also be very helpful if he attended a class with you, then he can understand for himself how this is all going to work. Your DH is fertile 24/7 and you are only fertile sometimes. That means family planning is a shared responsibility, it's not all on you. Maybe this will be an adjustment if he's used to you always bearing 100% of the responsibility by yourself, but talking about it will help!