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  #1  
April 7th, 2007, 12:23 PM
mommyKathyX3
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Let me introduce myself and tell you a bit of my story, and maybe ask for some help. My names Kathy, I have a 6 yr old daughter, a 4 yr old daughter and a 7 month old son. I've been on BC pills ever since I was married. (didnt need them before ) I went off them to have Julia, back on after she was born, went off of them to have Chloe, back on them after she was born. When She was about 2 I stopped taking them and started Charting my temps and watching my CM. I did that for 10 months with not ONE "scare" that I was pregnant. First month I tried to get pregnant, we succeded but I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks. I didnt chart that next month mostly cause I just didnt "feel like it" after the miscarriage since I was a bit depressed. When I started having symptoms again, I took another test and I was pregnant again! Hense Cade came about. I've never liked taking BC pills. I dont like the idea of it, I dont like the possible side effects, and what it does to me. My husband is scared to not use it though cause he cannot function well with condoms, and he doesnt want to chance having another baby yet. I am bfing but thats not stopping me from ovulating. I'm on minipill now, and its not stopping me from ovulating either. I want to do NFP, and did before without problems, but hubby is scared. I was wondering if anybody knows of anything to help me convince him. He's read all the "stats" of NFP, and it doesnt change his mind. I'm going to kinda lurk here hoping I can officially change his mind soon.
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  #2  
April 7th, 2007, 02:13 PM
Julka
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Hey Kathy, I know you!

Welcome! I just wanted to say that I also use NFP and although my DH is 100% for it, I can understand why your DH is scared of it, a lot of men are. What I find that's helping us a bit is for BOTH of us to be involved in the charting process. Like, DH would pass me the thermometer at 6:00am sharp each morning (he gets up for work at this time), and so when I sleep he wakes me up and ensure I take my temps. This involvement on his part allows him to kinda 'be part of this whole weird thing' called NFP.

Have you tried involving your DH? Or even allow him to check for CM? (I know some people find it gross, but some don't). Also, remind him of all the negative side effects of the pill, ask him whether he wants anything bad to happen to you due to the pill. My DH is repelled by all the side effects pills may cause and says that because he loves me he wouldn't want anything like this to happen to me. While NFP is completely natural and the chances of pregnancy are equal if not higher than pill (condoms are 80-85% effective I believe).

Good luck! I hope Joey comes to terms with it soon.
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  #3  
April 7th, 2007, 09:40 PM
mommyKathyX3
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Its funny cause the "hastle" is part of why he doesnt think it'll be effective. He is such a "technology and science gave it to us, use it" type. he thinks the whole natural lifestyle is silly. It took a LOT for me to convince him to cloth diaper, and he's hinting that maybe its time for Cade to start weaning some. He also doesnt like my wrap, and thinks its easier to put them in a stroller, or at least in a bjorn or sometning. I like the wrap better. I honestly think the fact I like doing things more naturally, and he likes to take the 'easy" way out is about the ONLY thing we routinly disagree about. He says that nothings happened so far terrible with the BC pills, then he thinks the positives outweight the risks with bc pills. I dont know. I DID get him to agree that if he gets good insurance with his new job and he is there for 6 months and everything is looking good, then I can go off bc pills and just do the NFP and if something happens, no big deal, it'll just be a bit sooner than expected. Its frustrating cause our faith also has a part in this cause I cant in good faith say i agree with what bc pills can do, and he thinks that until a baby implants your not really pregnant anyway, so its not a big deal. ANyway, sorry about the book (s) lol

Oh, and he understands how it all works, he just doens think its very reliable, even though i've shown him the studies.
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  #4  
April 7th, 2007, 10:19 PM
Julka
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Ahh!

It's so confusing, huh, like on one hand I think it needs to be a mutual decision, but on the other hand I think it's your body, Kathy. If the effects of the pill scare you, you need to make a decision for yourself. I've never been on the pill, but two of my close friends have had HORRIBLE experiences with theirs (one gained close to 40lbs, and the second grew this "ball" on her chest which had to be surgically removed, she thought it was cancer, but thank God it wasn't). And these happened to my two close friends, my heart just broke, especially for the second one. So I think even if my DH was not for NFP, I would still use it because the side effects scare me & I would tell him he needs to be a little more selfless... it only takes 1 time for something bad to happen.

My faith might be a little different from yours, I am not sure, but I believe that each time we dtd we need to leave a crack for God, so that if he chooses to bless us with a child at that moment, than it's His plan, and so be it. A condom is a barrier straight off - like even before you dtd you already decide not to leave any cracks. That's why I am against those too...

Maybe some other girls on here would have more advise for you
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  #5  
April 8th, 2007, 12:44 PM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 11,397
Welcome Kathy!

From an instructor perspective, I've found that for some guys - they just need to hear about NFP from someone other than their wife before they will trust it. I can't explain it! Would he be willing to attend a class or meet with an instructor as a favour to you, and THEN you can discuss it further after that?

Also, you are certainly entitled to be bothered by the action of the pill. Only you can be an advocate for the little lives that you and your husband create together. If it doesn't bother your DH, you could perhaps ask him to cooperate with NFP as a favour to you, because he loves you so much (which I'm sure he does) and agree to disagree about the issue itself. He doesn't have to agree that it's wrong to prevent implantation, he just has to respect that it bothers you. On your part, you can offer to be very generous during the infertile times.

Just some thoughts!
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