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  #1  
March 31st, 2009, 04:49 AM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Be honest. How are you doing right this very moment? If you are doing okay, or even doing really good, let us know. If you are needing some extra support right now, we REALLY want to know that, so that we can give you that support.
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  #2  
March 31st, 2009, 07:41 AM
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I'm doing okay. It is still hard because little things constantly remind me of my Dad, but I'm grateful that I have so many good memories.

How about you, Steph? How are you doing?
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  #3  
March 31st, 2009, 08:08 AM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm doing okay for the moment. I'm coming up on the EDD of my most recent miscarriage so I have been focusing on getting through that.

I'm down to two more months before I get to go home to visit. I am getting more excited about it, but also starting to get nervous about it. I'm not sure how I am going to react since it's the first visit since Dad passed away.

I'm doing okay for the moment. I'm coming up on the EDD of my most recent miscarriage so I have been focusing on getting through that.

I'm down to two more months before I get to go home to visit. I am getting more excited about it, but also starting to get nervous about it. I'm not sure how I am going to react since it's the first visit since Dad passed away.
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  #4  
March 31st, 2009, 10:03 AM
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I was crying last night because I miss him so much, I found a receipt dated exactly one year before he died. I'm still kicking myself for forgetting my phone at home and not going back for it the day he died.

I'm still working on his story it's just every time I start writing about him I start bawling and have to stop.
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  #5  
March 31st, 2009, 12:59 PM
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Take your time Michelle. Some people have to share their story right away because it helps them to talk. Others take years before they are able to talk. Be gentle with yourself.


Take your time Michelle. Some people have to share their story right away because it helps them to talk. Others take years before they are able to talk. Be gentle with yourself.
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  #6  
March 31st, 2009, 03:06 PM
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Emotionally I'm broken and tired; my failed IVF cycle really knocked me down. I miss my mom, but after 25 months, the edge is now gone and I don't think of her more than once a day now. I'm just trying to keep focused and get my school stuff done, and make preps for Easter dinner here in a few weeks.
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  #7  
March 31st, 2009, 04:07 PM
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I know what you mean, Stephanie, the all the "firsts" are really hard. I haven't been back home since my Dad passed away, and I almost dread going home because I don't want to see my Dad's chair empty, and I don't want to drive by the cemetary where he is buried. We are going for Easter, which is also the weekend my Dad would've been 52. Ugh, it just sucks!

I'm sorry that you have to mourn the loss of a child on top of this.

Marie - I'm sorry you're feeling down. TTC is SOOO draining by itself, and to add the loss of a parent to the mix is just too much. I hope that you have a little BFP to make you smile soon.

Michelle - Don't worry or feel rushed if you haven't written your story yet...I haven't been able to do it either. Just take it day-by-day, or hour-by-hour, and you'll know when it's time. Or, if it is easier, just write is short bits until you have the whole thing done. We're all figuring this out as we go along; there is really no manual on how to get through this.
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  #8  
March 31st, 2009, 05:27 PM
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Marie, I am so sorry that you are having a hard time. I hope you get a BFP very soon. It's more than overdue!
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  #9  
March 31st, 2009, 05:47 PM
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Today is ok for me. We got back home from visiting dad last night. He overdid it of course, so the kids didn't notice a huge change in him. I did though, he's lost weight and by 6 pm he was in his chair with a heating pad and blanket. It's so uncharacteristic of him. And it doesn't help that my older sister was fussing and asking him if he was alright, or if he needed a break. All he wanted for the week was to be normal for my kids. I'm proud of myself, I managed not to tell him what to do, and I kept the tone as light as I could for him. We compared fiber intakes between the preggo and the chemo patient. They're surprisingly similar. Leaving was hard, and I really just wanted to cry then but I didn't. I also made it through the Sunday church service without loosing it, even though dad made a couple different prayer lists and it's hard to think about mom sitting by herself soon. I don't think dad will share Christmas with us this year though. I think he's going to run out of energy to fight this before then.
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  #10  
March 31st, 2009, 06:12 PM
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I'm glad you were able to go, for both you and your kids. You'll be in my T & P.
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  #11  
March 31st, 2009, 08:04 PM
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I'm glad you were able to go visit your Dad. I know how hard the visits can be. You and your family will be in my T&P's.
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  #12  
March 31st, 2009, 08:11 PM
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I'm already looking forward to the next visit in June, and he's hoping to bring mom out to visit us after the baby is born in Aug if he feels up to it. And it definately helps that he's not upset or fighting the diagnosis. He's fighting for what he can get of course, but death isn't a fearful thing for him and his calm is helping the whole family.
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  #13  
April 2nd, 2009, 05:25 AM
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I can definitely relate to that. Dad staying as calm as he did....even making jokes right up to the last minute really made things a lot easier on all of us too. Knowing that while he didn't want the end to come yet, he was still okay with it really helped to make it a tiny bit easier for me.
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  #14  
April 2nd, 2009, 07:22 PM
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really missing my mom right now - i was looking through some pictures...that was hard. Pictures from a year ago when she was healthy and then ones from a few months ago. i miss her lots.
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