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Why do parents think they need to protect us still??


Forum: Loss of a Parent

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  #1  
May 21st, 2009, 01:47 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 4,636
So my dad is taking a couple weeks off chemo to regen and get over an infection in his ankle joint. But does he tell me, nope. He didn't think it was worth mentioning. I'm in UTAH, I need to have an idea of if it's going good or bad to at least try to plan for trips home before dad's not dad anymore. If I could only get him to understand that I'm doing as good as I'm going to but I need to know if things take a turn for the worse. Any ideas on how to get him to not try to protect me, and just tell me if things aren't right?
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  #2  
May 21st, 2009, 04:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: cny
Posts: 3,230
I don't... i'm sorry ..BUT my mom did the same thing... When she told me they found more cancer cells ... she told me there was a couple & that they were so small the dr was sure when she started the kemo again... ( she was on the 2 week off then whatever weeks on ,, sorry i can't remember right now ) That would take care of it... Then as we rushed her up not even a week later the dr tells us that it's taken completly over her liver...
I really do feel i was lye'd to... BUT i think she honestly thought she was protecting me & that she was gonna beat it ...,, BUT in my heart i knew....

You'll know when you have to go i'm sure.... I'm sorry if i can't give you better thought's I so wish you luck & hope you get to see him soon
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  #3  
May 21st, 2009, 06:16 PM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Southern Iowa
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I don't really have any advice. Dad "protected" us from finding out that mom left him when he found out that his cancer was back for so long that we ended up losing him because of it. I would just try talking to him and telling him that you don't want him to try to protect you.....that you just want him to be honest with you.
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  #4  
May 21st, 2009, 08:05 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 4,636
Thanks ladies, I'm not sure if just talking to him will help much, but it's something to try for sure. He's always been our knight in shining armor so the idea that he's not playing that role much longer is not easy for him. I've tried very hard to make sure he knows that the only person he needs to do anything for now is himself.
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My days are busy, my house is messy, and my heart is full!
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