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Was when my dad went to Heaven; it feels like so long ago, but I remember it like it happened yesterday. He didn't see me graduate from University, become an RN, meet my fiance, get married, walk me down the aisle, he'll never know my sons. I don't know what I believe anymore, is he up in Heaven watching down on us, did he meet my sons before me, did he help pick them out? Is he up there getting caught up with my mom? Or is there just, nothing? I haven't been to his grave since July 06 when I was pg with Nolan, and its only 45 minutes away. Part of me feels guilty, part of me wonders what's the point? Its not like he's going to talk back to me. I honestly didn't remember it was his DOD until my sister mentioned it tonight; I'd been unsettled and irritable all day, but I didn't even remember it. What kind of daughter am I? I know its so quiet in here and this is probably more of a journal entry than anything else, but I needed to get this out. Dead parents suck, whether its one year or fifteen, its always there.
yes it is,,, it's always there,,, I honestly forgot that it was my mom's birthday ( i never remembered it when she was here eather..i had people to remind me I'm bad at dates..... but it just so happened we visited that day not even knowing...your not a bad person,,, it is just hard