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I was just surfing around JM and noticed this board. I don't know why I didn't go looking for it before! I lost my Dad last month, on February 23rd. He finally passed after a 10 month battle with lung cancer that had spread to his brain, neck and liver. I think I'm doing OK at this point, but I think sometimes dh and friends get tired of talking about it and I sometimes wonder if they worry about saying the wrong thing around me.
Dad chose to have his body donated to science research and his wife received his cremains in the mail recently. I am to go to her house on Monday to get some of his remains placed in a small keepsake urn and a tiny keychain urn. I am looking forward to this.
The whole experience is so unreal. I was in the nursing home when he died. He actually waited until I left the room to change the baby's diaper to pass. I wish I had been in the room with him, but apparently he didn't! The whole thing seems like a dream I had, and not something that actually happened.
I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that he is really gone, he will never watch my children grow up or have kids of their own. I named my youngest after him, and he was only able to see him one time that I think he was actually lucid. It feels so wrong to go to his house when he's not there. It feels like he should walk in the door at any minute, but of course he won't.