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i lost my mom when i was 23 years old and 3 years later i had my baby. i am so happy the baby is here and i feel he was sent to us from my mom but its hard because she will never see him and he wont get to meet her. i am doing fine in terms of not having help from family as my DH is huge help but it makes me just so sad that my mom cant be here to experience this joy with us. it even makes me angry that MIL will get to be here,,i know its wrong.... anything i can do to help...
I relate-I lost my mom at 29 then had my son at 31. She died in a plane crash which brings a whole different kind of grieving. Now I am 39 and am 13 weeks pregnant with another child. To this day I will break down in tears knowing my children won't ever meet her. I miss her dearly and would give anything to be able to see and hug her again. It's **** tough without mom and I constantly remind my friends whose mothers are still alive to enjoy their mothers while they can.
I understand the anger believe me. Anger seems to get me through some days. It is not a case of right or wrong, you can not help your emotions in particular the loss of your mother. Reading your post seems pretty normal to me so yes there will be days when you are just pissed that your mother in law is alive and kicking but your dear mother is gone. Nothing wrong with it, BUT be very careful to who you tell this to. I learned early on who I could tell my deepest, darkest grieving moments to and it certainly wasn't anyone who had not experienced loss. They simply can not relate.
I TOTALLY understand the MIL feeling. I feel the exact same way. My mom died almost 9 years ago now and I still have resentment towards my MIL. Doesn't help that she is not NEARLY the doting grandma that my mom would have been.
~Thank you SO much to Jaidynsmum for my fabulous siggy!!~