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My name is Megan I am 28 years old, I have been on the TTC forums and decided to look at the other boards today and came across this one. I lost my father a year ago December 2, 2009 after an 18 month battle to Small Cell Lung Cancer, he was 49 years old. Even after a year it's still hard, it's gotten better but on a sliding scale of 1-10 1 being the lowest and 10 being ok I would have to say I am at a 3. We were all present when he passed which I can now appreciate the specialness of the moment, but for awhile I was traumatized by his last moments, not prepared for what they entailed with the last breath and how the body's muscles react. Somedays I am ok, but most it's just so hard to believe that he's gone. The hardest pill to swallow is knowing that I have so much life ahead of me before I can see him or speak to him again. What I wouldn't do to hear his laugh again or to hug him. I wish I had found this forum earlier. Looking forward to getting to know you guys! Thanks!