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March 17th


Forum: Loss of a Parent

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  #1  
March 13th, 2011, 02:35 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 196
My dad passed away last year on June 27th. I was already home on leave from the army because my grandmother passed away two weeks earlier. It was really unexpected.. turned out to be heart failure and it was the worst thing that I have ever gone through in my entire life.

My sister found him and I ran in right after.. well on Mar 17th is his birthday. My husband is in training and won't be home until the 18th. I am dreading that day sooooo much.
I know that I'm going to be upset and I just don't want it to come.

I'm a Christian and I know that my dad is in a better place.. but still, it doesn't make the pain go away. He's supposed to be here with me. I know that sounds selfish, but it's just so hard.

I know that there are other people out there that have gone through the same thing. What have y'all done to handle grief and get through the hard times?
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  #2  
March 14th, 2011, 09:04 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: London England
Posts: 553
I threw a party for all my moms friends and our family. We toasted with tequila and talked about the good times. And how proud of me she would be for finally being able to stomach tequila.

Other days are hard for me as well, mother's day, thanksgiving, christmas. I always gave her flowers. That was my thing. Every holiday it was different and they were grand bouquets. I have a personal flourist who does it all for me. This doesn't change. I have a vase by her urn and I still get her flowers for every holiday, and sometimes a card.

Best advice I can give. Spend some time with him. He may not be there physically but that doesn't mean you can't spend that time "for" him. Tell him about how hard it is, tell him how you miss him. Tell him what he missed this year and what you are hoping for the future.

Do this at the grave, or beside the urn or even just a picture.

You will cry. Cry hard and alot but I promise you, you will feel better after. Spent, drained but better.

GL sweetie. The first year is always the hardest I am told. I haven't quite made it to 2 yrs yet so I don't know for sure about that, but each day does get a tiny bit better.
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  #3  
March 21st, 2011, 09:50 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,159
I've lost both parents, tbh all milestones those first two years are incredibly painful. Write your parent letters, release some balloons, maybe buy a cupcake and light a candle and celebrate his life. Acknowledge your grief and understand that its okay to feel sad, the feelings won't wreck you. As you work thru your pain, it gets better, and you come thru the other side a better, stronger person. I've done this twice, trust me, you will survive this.
Happy birthday to your dad ((hugs))
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  #4  
May 2nd, 2011, 03:36 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: cny
Posts: 3,230
idk, maybe your right,maybe we have to start celebrating there life ....

mom will be gone 3 yrs ( wow ) this 23 june

it's so heart touching seeing everyone's storey , i cry for you all each time , every month is hard. Mom's day is coming up my mil wants to takes me to a mother/daughter dinner at the church. i'm not ready .. we usually can mask mother's day with my oldest b-day but cant this yr.

gonna be HARD...
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