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Forum: Loss of a Parent

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  #1  
September 22nd, 2011, 02:40 PM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chicopee ma
Posts: 15,513
help my kids?

my kids lost their father in 08..they were both really young..my daughter was 2 months and my son was 19 months..

my son is 5 and he really is a great kid..but recently his anger is getting out of hand..the minute he comes home he fights with his sister..he will hit or kick stuff and i send him to the corner...

the school has recently expressed that dylan talks about his dad and missing him..that even though he was young and doesnt remember he still mourns the loss.

i have no idea if he is acting out more because of the issue with not having a dad..the school did ask me if i wanted to put him in a program in the school with others who lost a close family member..i thought it would be good so i agreed..so he knows he isnt alone..he said there was only a few other kids (program is k-5)

kinda at a loss
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  #2  
September 23rd, 2011, 03:05 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 66,539
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Sweetie I am so sorry for your little boy and for you having to watch him go through this

As we all know grief is one of those unpredictable and very individual things, and for a child there is the added dimension that it's difficult to know how much they really understand about what's happened and where their lost family member is. Unfortunately, hard as it is, it's not something you can just "fix" for him, but what you can do is be there to offer love and support when he needs it.

The programme in school sounds like a fabulous idea and it's a start that you understand that his anger issues may be exacerbated because of the situation, and cut him some slack because of it.

Are you religious? Using your religion's ideas of the afterlife or even asking a minister to speak to him about it could help.

If not, chances for him to talk about it might help. In quiet moments you could mention it. Do you have a book of photos of his dad to share? You could talk through happy memories as well as talking about missing him, and tell your son that it's ok to miss him and that he will feel better and stronger in time. Depending on your own beliefs you may also want to say that his dad will be watching over him from the other dimension.

Hugs and cuddles whenever you get opportunity probably also help more than you know. Even if he is reluctant to talk, make sure he knows that he can speak to you whenever he wants about his worries and frustrations. Either tell him or leave him little notes, if he finds it hard to speak to you he might prefer a book where he writes his concerns and you answer.

If all else fails and you're still concerned, have you considered counselling for him? It's such a harrowing thing to happen to him at such a young age, he might need something more formal like that.

Above all else though I think he probably just needs his mom who loves him, and time, to get better.

Sending you much love and light xxx


Also, do feel welcome here anytime to talk/vent xxx
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  #3  
September 23rd, 2011, 10:38 AM
NewportMamaBear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Priest Lake, Idaho
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I don't have any advice to offer, but want to send you my prayers and *hugs*.
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Missing my dad 2/23/1961-11/1/2010
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  #4  
October 24th, 2011, 05:34 PM
::er!ca::'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: USA
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Last edited by ::er!ca::; October 24th, 2011 at 05:36 PM.
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