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Do you like your child's school?


Forum: Children With ADHD

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  #1  
January 16th, 2009, 08:52 AM
roving_gypsy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I really have problems with my son's school.. I kind of went in to it in my intro. Basicly He is in Kindergarden, he is my oldest child and this was our first experiance with the local public school system. I had really high hopes, but found out we were doomed from the start as soon as we found out my son's teacher.. She is basicly known to make snap judgements of the kids and to be pretty harsh with kids with needs, and she believes that children should be seen and not heard....... SO.... we started off the year hoping for the best, only to continusly get notes home asking if Nathaniel had taken his meds, and reporting that he was in her words 'just out of control'. So After she asked me what the difference was between ADD and ADHD, acting like 'they' (behavioral conditions in general) were all the same, AND then telling me that she recommends (as if she has a med. degree) that my child's meds get UPPED! I had had it, I walked out of the class, only to be pulled back in by the guidence consuler (sp?).. I thought, thank god some one on my sons side....... untill she started talking.. She seemed, looked, and sounded wacked out.. I mean seriously she looked like my alcoholic Aunt, shaky, fidigity, etc. (She told my son, who was wearing light up shoes, not to run away in those shoes because they might catch him because the shoes light up! WHO SAYS THAT TO A CHILD?!!?)

So we went into the whole story.. And she tried to say it was all a misunderstanding and to just start fresh... Thats when about had a cow and did walk out. I scheduled a meeting with the principle and brought nathaniel with. Nathaniel sat on the floor playing a game and I asked the principle if my child looked like one who was 'OUT OF CONTROL' , and we had an hour long discussion about things like how his teacher pulled Nathaniel to the front of the class because he won a top hat for fundraiser sales, and she wanted to take a picture of him. He started to cry and didn't want the hat on because the kids in the class were laughing at him with the hat on, she told my son 'why are you crying, you know you'd be laughing if it were some one else up here, just put the hat on and smile' Now come on! is that really how you handle a child crying? The princible agreed that it was mishandled among other things. BUT THEN recommended my child stay in that room. I agreed to have another meeting with Him, the teacher, the counsoler (geese I can't spell that word right today), and my husband and I. During that meeting they tried to tell us everything they thought we wanted to hear.... by the end of the meeting my husband and I were only more convinced that we wanted our son in a new class room. When we made that clear, the Three of them, went on to tell us how we should make sure and tell nathaniel it was our choice and how his teacher doesn't want him to leave and all that! BS! I was ready to leave again...

Not even a week later they called CPS on us accusing us of beating our child, when they saw a bruise on his forhead and didn't listen to his explination of how it got there (my husband and him were playing and they flipped a chair over that they were in and my husband pushed him over his head on to the floor so he could get out of the chair). All they heard was that my husband pushed our son.. CPS was very clear that this case should have never been opened, after just talking to Nathaniel, but by law they had to go through all the steps of checking since it was opened.

So anyways, I really do not care for my son's school. The only reason we are staying with it for now is because my son's New teacher is really good with him. But after this summer I really want to place him in a new school (the other school that I want him in is actually closer to us, but due to district lines we have to take the kids to the current school, its all messed up)

Do any of you have problems with your child's school? I've really thought of home schooling, but I just don't know if it would be right, because I know my son needs the interaction with the other kids. And I'm not sure I can handle home schooling to be honest.
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  #2  
January 16th, 2009, 10:03 AM
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wow that's tough. I'm sorry you are dealing with all that.

Our school is fine. I don't love it but we can't afford private school so it will have to do. California is not really that good at funding their schools and it looks like it will be getting much worse soon.

That being said, I have a really good rapport with Corey's teacher. It was a hard decision to put him in school because he turned 5 Sept 8. I was going to hold him out a year but at the last minute decided to put him in. I signed up to be room mom for his class so that I could see more of him in class and also get to know the teacher better.

It took all of 8 days before the teacher pulled me aside for the dreaded "Do you have a second to talk about your son" speech. I knew it would happen, I would hold my breath each day I picked him waiting for it.

The teacher and I put in a plan of action for Corey and it did help a lot. If he was good at school and got a thumbs up then he could play his Wii when he got home. He did really well but I could see it was a HUGE struggle for him and frankly it was exhausting him to try to stay in control. I really felt bad for him. So in Nov I talked to our Ped about trying Ritalin and he agreed it would be a good choice. He's known Corey since he was born and has seen his behavior first hand many times in the office.

Corey's teacher did not want us to use medication as she is not a fan of putting kids on meds but she told me she is really impressed with the results with Corey. She can't believe it and he has become her most improved student.

Corey's teacher is tough but that's what I wanted. Corey needs people to show who is boss and rules to live by and those rules to be enforced. He would probably do best in Military school If I had to pick a K teacher for him (which I couldn't) it would be the one he got.

My older daughter goes to the same school but is an angel of a student so she does well with any teacher. She is a true diplomat.
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  #3  
January 16th, 2009, 10:44 AM
roving_gypsy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
The teacher and I put in a plan of action for Corey and it did help a lot. If he was good at school and got a thumbs up then he could play his Wii when he got home. He did really well but I could see it was a HUGE struggle for him and frankly it was exhausting him to try to stay in control. I really felt bad for him. So in Nov I talked to our Ped about trying Ritalin and he agreed it would be a good choice. He's known Corey since he was born and has seen his behavior first hand many times in the office.[/b]

We do this! We have a scale. lol At school he moves a monkey up and down a chart. Blue is the best, then green, yellow, orange, and red!
So on Blue days he gets to play his Playstation or Wii, on Greendays he can get on the computer, and Yellow he can only hang out in the living room or his room playing with toys, Orange he has to study his readers and flashcards in his room.... And red.... Well we've never had a red day... luckily, I'm not sure what we would do on a red day; probably take something away and do the same as an orange day.

We also did do a money thing. If he did good at school he'd get 2 quarters for a blue day and a quarter for a green day. If he helped out around the house and played nicely and wasn't overly loud he'd get a quarter for what ever he was doing at that time. If he got a yellow day or lower he got a quarter taken away, and if he was overly loud and rude and didn't do what was asked of him he'd get quarters taken away. It worked great for a while untill a really hard weekend. Since then we've abandond the idea, but we may try it again. The point was, is we'd take him to the dollar store on the weekend or something if he had enough to spend... or he could choose to take in 50 cents a day to school for icecream if he had it.
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  #4  
January 16th, 2009, 12:27 PM
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I wanted a strict thumbs up or down policy but his teacher started doing something closer to what you have she would do diagonally up or sideways or diagonally down. Drove me nuts because I didn't have 4 levels of rewards. It was either Wii or no Wii. He only got one thumbs down day and we went to the ped a few days later to get meds. I must say he has had straight thumbs up days ever since being medicated. Not even this sideways or diagonally stuff.
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  #5  
January 16th, 2009, 01:10 PM
lovemyboysandabbey2's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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wow hun I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, I am very lucky as my kids' school is great. ALl of his teachers have been very helpful and supportive in helping me with Tyler, they have went out of their way in making school much easier for him.
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  #6  
January 18th, 2009, 10:54 AM
luvmykidz's Avatar Veteran
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We have a great school and they have been very supportive. They can tell when Ryan hasn't taken his meds that morning cause he is a totally different child. He takes 45 mg of Concerta right now but that may change once the new doctor. Anyway, they know to call me and let me know how he is doing and he never is disruptive in school unless he has no medication. When they sense he hasn't taken them, they send him to the nurse and she usually calls me to ask first and then if he hasn't, she will give it to him there.
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  #7  
January 30th, 2009, 06:45 PM
jacob'smom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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i am very sorry you are going through this. the teacher has no right to say your child is out of control. I would schedule a meeting with board of education if you don't see any improvements.

I love my son's school and his teachers but I HATE his bussing system!!! they're left him alone on the bus, they've forgotten to pick him up for school, they made it hard to change his bus stop, and they just in general are hard to deal with
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