[peimum]

Our Ped. has told me that my 3 1/2 year old shows the signs of ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) and that if COULD end up being diagnosed as ADHD. He said she is still too young to "diagnose". So, my question.... at what age was your child diagnosed, and was it a for sure diagnosis? The doc said that meds is a last resort, which I am happy about... however, there is not a whole lot of information out there as far as how I can help her to be "normal". She is a VERY violent child, mostly with my 21 month old. She as slammed Alina's head into baby gate, marble tables, etc... she throws shoes at her, and smacks DH and I, HARD! She is very "mean". He (the ped) said that this is all "normal" in her mind, and she does not understand that what she is doing is not okay, even if we tell her so. So, what the heck do I do?????? I am at my wits end with her, and DH told me to "get rid of her" because she is going to "mess up" the other kids. UGH. And suggestions???? (besided wacking DH upside the head of course)

[Erin]

Originally Posted by Mum2Girls

DH told me to "get rid of her" because she is going to "mess up" the other kids.

i'm sure he doesn't mean that but i understand feeling that way. i have those same feelings myself and hate myself for it. it's so hard sometimes to separate the behavior from the child and the behavior can push us to edge of sanity.

my 6 1/2 yo son also has ODD "tendencies" (it was repeatedly mentioned in his evaluation, but only an official dx of ADHD). i don't have any advice as i, too, am struggling with balancing one child's needs with the other children (10 yo and 3 yo). i fear that i don't have what it will take to manage the behaviors - there is just no calming him when he cranks up.

i'm sorry you're dealing with this. maybe catching it early bodes well for better management?? the doc said meds as a last resort, but did s/he provide info on what you CAN do?

i just wanted to say that you're not alone and send (((HUGS))). i hope someone else has something helpful to say....

[lovemyboysandabbey2]

Tyler was diagnosed with ADHD at 5 and later also DX with ODD tendencies. Austin was just newly DX with ADHD at the age of 7.

[mom-2-3-kids]

my son has ODD. He isn't violent like you are describing but he is belligerent to us and his teachers. He is also extremely strong willed and did I mention belligerent? I can laugh now because we have it under control with meds and behavioral mods and believe it or not he is growing out of some of it. I can actually get him to time out without him screaming, yelling, kicking and screaming while I drag him there. He goes screaming and yelling but at least on his own. That may not seem like progress to those with easy kids but its huge for us

Anyhow, They probably won't give meds until 5 but check out the book 123 Magic. I swear it works like magic - even on MY son.

[peimum]

thanks ladies. I will be cheinc out that book asap!

[disneydiva76]

Odd is almost a "norm" side effect like of adhd. If you research adhd you will see that along with that diagnosis, your child might have odd, ocd or a bunch of other things that go along with it.
My daughter was diagnosed with adhd when she was about 5. She started off really violent like your child when she was younger. Then as she got older, it became more of an emotional trigger vs violent. But that come and goes.
She is now diagnosed with Adhd, odd and bipolar.

I would think if anything, maybe behavioral therapy to try to recorrect the behavior of violent tendencies before she gets older and its already a sunk in habit maybe? I would try everything before meds, but when the time comes.. don't rule meds out. But your kiddo is quite young. Hopefully you will find a happy medium. Something that helped me to kinda accept that my kiddo wasnt like the "normal" kiddos out there was to take baby steps. Be thankful for the small changes, the small milestones the small achievements that your kiddo will do . cherish things one day at a time. =] Good luck to ya.