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My oldest son has run the gamut of meds. He's currently on Concerta. He was doing better on Vyvanse, but his new insurance won't cover it and that stuff is CRAZY expensive.
My second son, was, two weeks ago, diagnosed "borderline ADHD" by his pediatrician. I had him evaluated last year and his ped. at that time thought he was borderline but gave us a list of things to try...more structure/routine, better diet, being consistent with punishments, etc.
We did that and he got worse (in my opinon) over the course of the last year. He's got ZERO impulse control (my biggest concern)...he'll run right out into the road without thinking for a second to look for cars. He'll try to poke his brother in the eyes with sticks. When we ask him why he does these thinks he says "I forgot" or "I don't think about stuff..." Luckily, he does VERY well at school. He's had a few off days where he was very disruptive, but as a whole, he's been great there.
So anyway...he was started on Vyvanse two weeks ago. He was at my house for a week (his dad and I switch weeks...he and his brother are wtih us for a week then with him for a week...so on and so forth). The first day on the medicine we saw no change. The second day, it was like he was on speed. He was constantly moving his jaw, yapping our ear off, and was cleaning EVERYTHING. (He kept going "I'm a cleaning machine, right mom?" LOL!) Needless to say, I was concerned that this was not the right thing for him...
After that though, he totally leveled off and has been doing so wonderfully I could cry with relief! His teacher has noticed NO difference at school (but he was fine there anyway) but his home behavior has done a complete 180! He's been nicer to his brother...doing what he was told...he doesn't run in the house anymore, or go flying across the street....yet he's the same happy, go-lucky little boy. His behavior was affected positively without his personality being affected negatively. I've always been so against ADHD medicine...until I've seen the wonderful things it has done for both my oldest son and now Lucas.
So then, he goes to his dad's house. The first day his dad says it didn't make a difference. The second day with his dad he said it made Luc mean and lethargic? And the third day he decided he wasn't giving it to him anymore...that I "don't want to parent our son" and that I'm "drugging him". (His family is VERY against a lot of medical things which is fine in some respects, but in this case, I disagree...)
Luc has an appointment on Friday to check up on how he's been doing. His dad says he's coming with to tell the doctor he wants him off of the medication.
I am just beside myself. After years of day after day feeling like Luc was getting the "short end of the stick" because he seemed like he truly could not control his own behavior...I finally was feeling like we had found something that was not only going to be great for our family but more so for him. We don't have to feel anymore like we can't help him be the best boy he can be...and he doesn't have to feel like he's in trouble all the time.
Most frustrating to me is that has dad and I have ALWAYS agreed that Luc needed SOMETHING...countless "what are we going to do about Luc" conversations...and when he found out about the doctor appointment and then that they were trying him on some meds, he totally flipped his opnion and said he's been fine and he has no idea what I'm talking about.
Anyone with ANY advice on how I can change his mind and help him see how much this is helping Luc now and will help him in the long run? He has said he'll just not give it to him, so he'll be on it for a week and off it for a week...which doesn't seem healthy to me?
Any advice at all?
Thanks in advance.
Proud Momma to:
Well, take it from Luc's perspective. Does he like being able to control himself better, not get in trouble all the time? Pierce has ADHD and is in Vyvanse. He is the same boy, he's just better able to control himself. He LOVES not getting in trouble and not being everywhere at once and being able to concentrate on things. Find out if Luc likes being on the medicine, and both of you have a sit-down with his dad. And going on and off the medicine is not healthy at all. You will see a repeat of the first reactions when he was first started on it. No change, speedy, normal. I can't see that being very good.
Another thing, has Luc ever shown any resentment about staying with his Dad? From personal experience, Vyvanse should not make him be happy and cool one week, and mean and lethargic in the next week. There might be something else going on.
Luc has told me he feels like his "brain is more empty so he can think now" (which makes me sad for him...like he must've had had so much going on in his mind before that he concentrate on anything. )
He has also expressed excitement that he's being so good that maybe he'll be able to play video games again soon. (That was his VERY favorite thing to do, so as a last ditch effort, we took them away indefinitely until he could be acting better on a continuous basis.)
Anyway...we'll see how his check up goes with the doctor tomorrow. His dad and I are still not seeing eye and eye...we'll see how it goes.
Proud Momma to:
That's how Pierce was too. He was so everywhere all at once it made it hard to concentrate, even on things he liked to do. This is why our boys NEED medication. They cannot control their overactive brain on their own. The medicine brings them down from a hurricane to a gentle summer breeze. It's easier on THEM most importantly, it's easier us a parents, and takes away a LOT of the stress that comes with having a child with ADHD. Less stress=more happiness. More happiness=healthier family.
Hopefully the doctor can sway Luc's dad into seeing this is the best way. And make SURE Luc talks to his dad about how he feels while on the medication. If hearing it from his own son who he feels he is "drugging" doesn't do the trick, I don't know what will.
And as I was re-reading your first post, I really caught the "don't want to parent our son". That is a load of bullsh**. Don't let him guilt trip you into thinking this is something bad. The medication allows Luc to do better, which allows you do to better FOR HIM. The medication is not for your piece of mind, it is for your son's benefit. I'm sure you are an awesome momma to these two boys! Keep positive and keep me posted!
I had the same problem with Tyler's dad he was sooo against having him on meds even tho it was obvious the meds helped him! It used to really piss me off, the weekends he had him he wouldn't bother with the meds.
Now Tyler doesn't see his dad so I don't have to worry about it.
Thanks for the input ladies...sorry I didn't update sooner.
Luc's dad mentioned his concerns at the doctor appointment, and maintained that he felt Luc was in a daze. It was almost comical...Luc was sitting quietly, coloring a picture and he goes "See? He's in a daze..." I was like "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Behaving and being in a daze are completely different. Ridiculous.
Anyway, we agreed to have him on his medicine for two weeks and then try him off for two weeks, and after each two week period, he, I and Luc's teacher will fill out the Vanderbilt assessment that both I and Luc's teacher filled out prior to his appointment...and we'll make a decision based on that.
I just don't understand...I thought one of the benefits of Vyvanse was the day to day stability it provides compared to other stimulant medications. Yet Chris said Luc is lethargic, combative at night, in a daze, etc. Whereas at our house he's still pleasant, chatty (he gets that from me...LOL!), he interacts well with everyone, etc. I think his dad is making things up and I unfortunately don't know how to get around that.
Proud Momma to:
I think he is making things up too. Unfortunately, I don't what to say to that either. All I know is Vyvnase should NOT be making him act one way at your house, and one way at his house.
Maybe Chris thinks "lethargic" because Luc isn't hyper anymore? It can be a big difference when your kid is hyper, hyper, hyper and then calm and collected. Plus, since you said Chris is so anti-medication, this could be fueling that. He thinks the meds do bad things, so the calmness turns into "lethargic" and any fuss turns into "combative". I'm not trying to defend him, just so you know. I do think his attitude is wrong and he is completely off base. I'm just trying to see from what you have told me where he is coming from, and if anything can help sway him.
This sounds bad, but I hope Luc acts up when he is with his father so he can see that medicine works and is NOT bad.