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I thought I would introduce myself. I'm a new mom-to-be that was diagnosed with combination ADHD in 2007. I have been researching (through my education as a social anthropologist, and because I'm an interested party) ADHD in both childhood and adulthood. I have been moderately successful in my own treatment of cognitive therapy and medication (ritalin, 8 hour and 4 hour versions).
I've had ADHD my entire life. My dad has it, too, as is often the case. I have also struggled with bouts of depression - very common among children and adults diagnosed - and anxiety.
I barely got through my teens and remember vividly experiences from childhood and adolescence where my ADHD significantly affected my well-being and function, both in positive and negative ways.
If you have any questions for me, I'm happy to try to answer them as honestly and completely as possible. I'm still in my mid-twenties and might be able to offer insight into what your kid might be going through, or even just a bit of perspective on this incredibly debilitating disorder.
the only thing i really have a problem with is my child's attitude. she is out of control. I have tried everything as far as to taking things away from her time out and anything else i can do. She is on adderall but it seems to not be working very well. I am not sure if attitude is part of the adhd or not but something is not right. she used to be such a sweetheart and she did anything i asked her to now she will not do anything that i ask her to do without putting up a fight about it.
Sounds like a handful! Is your daughter a preteen? Hormones can be incredibly disorienting for everyone even near a preteen!
I'm not a psychologist, but if it isn't likely to be chalked up to adolescent boundary pushing (and remember that oppositional behaviour is a symptom of adhd even early on) then perhaps something is eating away at her, but she doesn't know how to express it well.
Bullying or feeling like an outcast at school is a risk for any child, but when you're struggling not to be "weird" and to keep up with complex relationships and actually maybe learn something once in a while it can be pretty overwhelming. When I was young - 5 to 7 - I often felt out of control, like I had no agency in my environment. It was incredibly frustrating! My solution was to withdraw, which made everyone concerned. Your daughter's might be to lash out.
I guess it's just important to remember that while you may be the target of a lot of 'tude, you probably aren't the cause. Perhaps a few chosen moments to ask if everything's alright in her life (not when she's refusing to do the dishes. That will just be annoying!) and even mentioning that you've noticed a change in her moods might bring some light to the situation.
Or if she's younger, perhaps offering her simple choices of things to do would help her feel involved and like she's choosing to do things, rather than being told/asked to do them. I've seen it work with my nieces and it still works on me (when my husband needs me to get out of bed and dress for work, for example).