We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
Hi all. I am new here and thought maybe I could find some advice and if nothing else, find people that are going through the same things as me. Let me tell you a little about my son-or a lot. He is 8 years old. He is very bright and is in gifted classes at school, but his ADHD is out of control. Where do I start with that? He has meltdowns that rival that of a 2 year olds temper-tantrums. You never know what is going to trigger them and when to expect them, sometimes every little thing will set him off and other days its takes something big, or at least something big to him. He screams and wails, and there isn't a whole lot that will calm him down. He chews his clothes so bad that his father and I have to buy new clothes on a weekly basis. I have been buying them at Goodwill because I can't afford the new clothes anymore. He will come home from school with his shirt hanging halfway down his chest from chewing so bad. We are getting constant conference calls from his teacher and the counselor at school because of his behavior. Recently he has started telling them that he wants to die. I'm terrified because I don't know how to deal with that because I don't know if he means it or it is an attention seeking behavior. I am so grateful that he has an amazing teacher this year, but I know I won't be so lucky in the years to come. He can't, or maybe wont, do anything that requires effort without being absolutely forced to do it. And of course, inevitably, that causes a meltdown too. He has bathroom issues too. If he is doing something he is intensely absorbed in, he won't stop to go to the bathroom. He will just go in his pants, and I don't mean pee. I found a sock in his bedroom this morning that he used to wipe with because he says he had an accident in his sleep. I'm not sure what the truth of that is and I was too tired this morning for a fight and had I pushed for a different answer, it would have been a fight. Anyway, that was my breaking point where I decided that I need someone that can relate to this. We have tried herbal supplements to no avail. I have tried rewards and punishments and nothing seems to help. I am exhausted and not coping with this well anymore at all. My son breaks down all the time and I feel like I am constantly crying as well. He had issues when he was younger too, but instead of getting better, they are getting progressively worse. We get insurance on May 28th, and I will be taking him to the DR. then. I plan on getting him medicinal help, and I know some of you probably don't agree with it, but please don't get angry with me. I think that this is a choice that I have to make for him at school, him personally and to keep some form of a relationship intact. As it is now, we fight constantly, he has no friends at school and his close family relatives don't even want to deal with him anymore. So I guess what I am wondering is, does anyone have any methods or other ideas to help? Either to get us through until he does get the help he needs or things that I can do now and in conjunction with medication. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated at this point because I really don't know what to do anymore. Thanks.
(((hugs)))) I am so sorry hun, I go through the same thing with my 12 year old. he was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5 or 6 and recently been diagnosed with bi-polar and depression last year. he would have the melt downs like your son. tyler has been on meds since he was diagnosed and let me tell you, it makes a HUGE differnce,
Hang in there and KUP!
I just had to say.. meds aren't all bad.. I have a 7 yr old adopted son that has been on adderall since he was 3 1/2 yrs old...he couldn't stop..from sun up to sun down it was pure insanity...much better with meds but it still is hard.. I also have a 10 yr old adopted daughter on adderall and a 6 yr old foster to adopt son on adderall.. it isn't easy but we sure do love them.. don't feel bad about getting him on meds it will make his life easier...((HUGS))
I agree (although I feel my child is too young for meds right now), meds don't only help with the ADHD issues and attitudes, it can help your child live a better life. I'm sure he'd rather be slowed down as well if given the choice.. so I don't feel that meds are always a bad thing. Besides, we should never let anyone make us feel that we're making the wrong choices for our children!