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Well, I come to you with many questions and in need of support. I am a mom of 4. Two of my precious chldren are "step" children and the youngest of mine ....two dd's ages 3 1/2 and 18 months are mine by birth. I will start by saying that my 3 1/2 year old, Evyn, although very young still is the one suspected to have ADHD diagnosed in the future. I know a diagnosis cannot be made this young and no one has officially done so, but we have had many help us and even begin certain early interventions because of the way things have gone/ My mother has ADD and I have severe OCD and I know these are gentically related. My dd has never been a good sleeper and by that I mean she was named "the newborn that never slept".....the list goes on. She is highly impulsive, even for a 3 year old, EXTREMELY ACTIVE, cannot focus, gets fixated.....etc...etc. I studied special ED/psych in college so I know the drill. She has many tactile issues, cannot transition easily, and has many quirks along these lines. She is a free spirit, bless her heart, with a capacity to love life like I have never seen but, she is extremely challenging and does not do well without structure.
We had her evaluated several times. Once, at 18 months bc she was imply not eating foods which I knew had to do with her tactile issues. They agreed, and even observed that she did get extremley fixated on things, could not deviate, and or focus , relative to her age. Since then we had her evaluated again bc her behavior was very resistant to dicipline, she seemed to be her own worst enemy, and bc of her ongoing sleep issues. We even saw a sleep specialist. She wakes several times a night, we at first, returned her to her bed without much of an interraction or secondary gain...things only got worse. She is now in bed with us, which I'm okay with, and know that she thrives bc she relaxes feeling our bodies relaxed.
I feel bad bc many of her "time outs" comes from her acting impulsively but, she is also blatenly defiant at times. She has a very compassionate heart so I know that she has the capacity for great sincerity. I want what's best for her and want to channel her inner spirit and personality in a positive way. She is EXTREMELY bright and has a memory that would blow you out of the water! It is uncanny! she can recall things she has only seen once and will even recall places she has been only once as early as 17 months old...it is remarkable!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, my question is, with the typical "time outs", after warnings, "timing out of toys"...what are some effective discipline techniques for children with ADHD? I often get on her level, have her make eye contact with me and hold her body still so she senses the calm, and yet, this is often not enough. I have tried so many things and must confess I do loose it sometimes.
On a personal and more guilty level, my youngest dd, 18 months old, is the opposite. She is not defiant and is much "easier." At times I feel bad bc it is easier to be around her. Shame =( I love my Evyn with all my heart but is is tough.
I'm looking to joing you guys bc I want what is best for my daughter and I know she has a potential for life to do amazing things! I guess I just need an outlet and a resource of other parents who have ideas of what works and what doesn't.
Thanks, and I hope to get to know you ladies.........
How about a chart of some sort. We tried that with DS (he's 9) in the past and it worked somewhat. We made pictures of things he liked to do and had boxes beside the pictures. if he didn't behave we would put an x beside the first item and so on. so with the first x, he got no treats, with the 2nd x he got no tv., with the 3rd x he go no games, etc.