[heathernoel]

I am so sick of reading this comment. The implication that because I needed a c section I didn't trust my body. I am really happy for those that got their ideal birth. But for some of us, that doesn't happen. So the implication that we failed our bodies, didn't "listen" to our bodies, or we failed somehow is hurtful and unnecessary.

FWIW, I chose to NOT opt for them turning Emma. The process was scary, and with the odds of ending up with an emergency c section anyway...I'd rather it have been controlled.

My body failed me when Marshall died. My body failed me when Jonah was formed with anencephaly. That is my body failing.

I am so blessed to live in a day and age where instead of continuing to labor (after 4 days!!!), my baby and I were cared for, and I was able to hold her. Four years later, I was able to hold her sister.

[hannah79]

Originally Posted by heathernoel

I am so sick of reading this comment. The implication that because I needed a c section I didn't trust my body. I am really happy for those that got their ideal birth. But for some of us, that doesn't happen. So the implication that we failed our bodies, didn't "listen" to our bodies, or we failed somehow is hurtful and unnecessary.

FWIW, I chose to NOT opt for them turning Emma. The process was scary, and with the odds of ending up with an emergency c section anyway...I'd rather it have been controlled.

My body failed me when Marshall died. My body failed me when Jonah was formed with anencephaly. That is my body failing.

I am so blessed to live in a day and age where instead of continuing to labor (after 4 days!!!), my baby and I were cared for, and I was able to hold her. Four years later, I was able to hold her sister.

I am there with you. I didn't get to take my last baby home with me either. I do find it offensive that others believe we are only thinking of ourselves or our convenience when we have a c-section. My favorite obnoxious comment is that we must be completely ignorant or uneducated because we believe it is okay to listen to our doctors. I don't know about you, but I don't think Google in any way equates to real medical training.

[-Jen-]

Hi there!... def. agree with you ...with my 1st if this had been in an age b4 c-sections...I might very well not be here...we tried our best..then medicine stepped in and helped

[*Stephanie*]

I agree. Peoples comments about things like that drive me crazy.

[MotherFrog]

pphhtt, I happen to blame my oldest a little bit for starting the whole c-section drama. Not that I tell her that! She settled her little tush in my pelvis and got stuck in frank breech. Both her feet and her head were in my ribs, no way she could have come out 'where she was supposed to'! She didn't want to come out anyway.

[Lilmom]

Thankfully... where I work and the people I generally hang out with... they all thought I was nuts for wanting a natural birth. They were glad I finally "Came to my senses" and scheduled a repeat c-section. They also think I'm nutso for wanting to nurse, but I won't be convinced otherwise on that one. So I'm not being judged by anyone here on the method of delivery at least. IF anything less so now.

I think people should get over themselves and just stop judging other people for their decisions. Even when I was planning a VBAC, I would have never got on anyone who was having an RCS, an ECS or whatever. It's just none of my business.

[.H.e.a.t.h.e.r.]

I really freaking hate people who assume because I had an elective repeat c-section that I am ignorant and just blindly follow my doctor. If they knew that my doctor was pushing for a VBAC and I had to fight to get my c-section they'd probably want to strangle me

I knew the risks and I knew a vaginal birth was "better" and would make me "stronger and more of a woman" (eye roll) but I chose my c-section because of what I was told during my first pregnancy. I actually couldn't bond with my first until she was a year old because I felt like a failure thanks to all those lovely comments. It's great how people love to pound into first time mothers to be that they won't really be mothers or women if they don't birth vaginally.

I was not going to go through that again in the event a VBAC didn't work out so I demanded a c-section.

I was able to bond with my second right away because I was at peace with my decision.

IMO having a happy mom is more important than having a mom who can show off and say "I delivered naturally while hugging a tree with someone playing the bongos"

[jhall2470]

I agree, those people make me want to pull my hair out and IMO those women who think less of themselves because the birth didn't go the way THEY wanted, didn't think much of themselves to being with.

[heathernoel]

Originally Posted by H.e.a.t.h.e.r

IMO having a happy mom is more important than having a mom who can show off and say "I delivered naturally while hugging a tree with someone playing the bongos"

I hold you responsible for making me pee my pants. O M G!! LOL

One of my friends told me I'd better not go off the deep end and deliver in the woods while communing with nature. I was disappointed. That means I can't deliver on the beach while moaning and communicating with whales.

[TheOtherMichelle]

Isn't it kind of hypocritical to have a topic about not wanting to be judged and stereotyped while doing that very same thing?

[Lilmom]

Originally Posted by jhall2470

I agree, those people make me want to pull my hair out and IMO those women who think less of themselves because the birth didn't go the way THEY wanted, didn't think much of themselves to being with.

I have to say I kind of take offense to this. I am hurt on a certain level that I cannot have a natural birth. I do see it as a failure of my body, or as a failure of the system. IT's a draw as to which it is. I'm a very small person, small enough that I make most OBs pretty nervous. My first dd was almost 10lbs to boot. Either way I'm very sad that I'll never experience labor.

It is what it is. I can deal with it and accept it. But believe me, I think plenty of myself as a person to begin with.

Like I said I'm not judging anyone for loving their c-section(s). To each their own. But I definately did not love my c-section. I merely was able to put up with it as a means to an end.

[jhall2470]

Originally Posted by Lilmom

I have to say I kind of take offense to this. I am hurt on a certain level that I cannot have a natural birth. I do see it as a failure of my body, or as a failure of the system. IT's a draw as to which it is. I'm a very small person, small enough that I make most OBs pretty nervous. My first dd was almost 10lbs to boot. Either way I'm very sad that I'll never experience labor.

It is what it is. I can deal with it and accept it. But believe me, I think plenty of myself as a person to begin with.

Like I said I'm not judging anyone for loving their c-section(s). To each their own. But I definately did not love my c-section. I merely was able to put up with it as a means to an end.

Well it wasn't my intention to offend anyone, but in my opinion my body done what it was meant to do. I guess i just don't understand how someone could think less of themselves or their bodies when they have a healthy baby. And to those who never got to bring your babies home i'm so sorry it takes a very strong woman to pull through something like that.

[Urchin]

Originally Posted by TheOtherMichelle

Isn't it kind of hypocritical to have a topic about not wanting to be judged and stereotyped while doing that very same thing?

Ditto.
I came across this topic by accident, and was a little disappointed at the other judgemental comments. It dosen't "help the cause", as they say.

[heathernoel]

There is nothing wrong with my topic.

I have the right to be upset when someone has the nerve to tell me I didn't listen to my body or I'm uneducated because I listened to medical professionals. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way...just like there's nothing wrong with 'grieving' the birth of your child.

That's the way I feel.

[TheOtherMichelle]

I have the right to be upset when someone has the nerve to tell me I didn't listen to my body or I'm uneducated because I listened to medical professionals. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way...just like there's nothing wrong with 'grieving' the birth of your child.

And nothing wrong with playing the bongos or listening to whale music? It's hypocritical complain about people disrespecting your choice to make the right decision for yourself and then turn around and disrespect others choices. I really disliked a few of the most recent comments here for that reason.

[Lilmom]

Originally Posted by heathernoel

There is nothing wrong with my topic.

I have the right to be upset when someone has the nerve to tell me I didn't listen to my body or I'm uneducated because I listened to medical professionals. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way...just like there's nothing wrong with 'grieving' the birth of your child.

That's the way I feel.

Oh no. It's not your topic. It's some of the comments in the topic. Women who feel empowered by a c-section have every right to feel the way they do. At least imo. Different strokes for different folks, ya know? However, a few of the comments got a little offensive to people who have had natural births and are proud of them and one of them is really offensive to those of us who have needed c-sections and didn't want them. I think the original topic is fine. As someone who didn't/doesn't want a c-secion I would be upset if someone got on me about it assuming that I either wanted the ERCS or that I didn't try hard enough to avoid it. Anyway I really was not a fan of my first c-section and I do not want this second one, but I have had all my other options removed at this point (staying home unassisted is not an option, DH won't go for it). So I'm stuck. I'd like to think that theres a place for us ladies who just happen to need c-sections, but aren't enthusiastic about them on this board too.

Try as I might it's something I can come to terms with and am no means traumatized by (uh hopefully, since I'm having my 2nd on Monday, crossing my fingers that theres nothing to be traumatized by this time and that it goes as well as the first), but it doesn't mean I'm thrilled with it either.

[heathernoel]

Ah! Ok. I can understand both sides here. But I've been in 'conversations' on JM where it seems that anything less than a non medicated birth is considered to be abhorrent.

I honestly think attitudes like that don't help mommies who go into labor, and find themselves needing medication. And it doesn't help mommies who, when faced with lowering heart rates and babies showing distress, or babies that are breech, make the decision that a section IS what is needed. Having the confidence that you know what is going to happen, and it's OK, can only serve to help mommies.

I understand both sides..but I know that I get super frustrated at the lack of support...

[TheOtherMichelle]

Originally Posted by heathernoel

Ah! Ok. I can understand both sides here. But I've been in 'conversations' on JM where it seems that anything less than a non medicated birth is considered to be abhorrent.

I honestly think attitudes like that don't help mommies who go into labor, and find themselves needing medication. And it doesn't help mommies who, when faced with lowering heart rates and babies showing distress, or babies that are breech, make the decision that a section IS what is needed. Having the confidence that you know what is going to happen, and it's OK, can only serve to help mommies.

I understand both sides..but I know that I get super frustrated at the lack of support...

As much as I agree with the benefits of natural childbirth, I do get frustrated with that attitude and I know what you're talking about. I don't think many realize how a cs can be empowering to someone who had a traumatic labor, vaginal birth, or loss. Just as a ncb and/or vbac can be empowering for someone who was forced into unnecessary interventions by their doctor for a previous birth (because it does happen a lot!) I think the latter situation is why there seems to be a lot of judgment against cs moms, because probably half of them are unnecessary and lots of women don't know that unless someone tells them or they find out later for themselves. And then women in that situation need to keep reminding themselves that their bodies didn't fail them like they were led to believe.

[.H.e.a.t.h.e.r.]

Originally Posted by TheOtherMichelle

And nothing wrong with playing the bongos or listening to whale music? It's hypocritical complain about people disrespecting your choice to make the right decision for yourself and then turn around and disrespect others choices. I really disliked a few of the most recent comments here for that reason.

seriously? It was freaking tongue in cheek.

c/s moms have to deal with comments about being less of a woman or whatever all the darn time. Then someone makes one comment about natural birth and it's ZOMG offensive.
well now they know how it feels everytime they make a mean comment about a c/s mom.

I obviously have nothing against moms who deliver naturally and actually look up to them but I have plenty against the comments they make because I chose to have a c-section. I am not ignorant, I am not less of a woman, I did not follow my dr blindly. Just like they aren't crazy tree huggers because they birthed naturally.

If they can't handle when it's turned around they really shouldn't make those types of comments about c/s either.

[Gaby&Emmy'sMama]

At the end of the day, I think we *all* (collectively, as women), do what is best for ourselves & our babies - whether that be c/s, or natural birth.... it does upset me though, when I am made to feel as though I'm going the 'easy route' by choosing to have a c/s, and that I'm somehow less of a woman for doing so