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I struggled (really REALLY struggled) with the decision between VBAC or repeat c/s. I, somewhat reluctantly, agreed to a repeat c/s after talking it over with my dr and my husband. But the last few weeks anytime I even THINK about the upcoming c/s I burst into tears, like completely start BAWLING!!! I do NOT want to have surgery again, I don't want the pain, I don't want to be in the OR, just everything about it is making me so emotional and upset just to think about it. My husband says that he'd be supportive if I chose to VBAC although I KNOW he prefers c/s. but when I finally told him about my feelings of I'm not sure whether I want a repeat c/s he completely freaked out (which I understand, because we're only 6 weeks away from delivery!!) and said how much he hates changing at the last minute blah blah blah and that if something happened to the baby while I VBAC'd that he'd probably blame me...great. So obviously I don't want to VBAC because I don't think he'd be as supportive a partner as I'd need. And my dr isn't exactly PRO VBAC, she does them yes but she used some scare tactics and misinformation on me when we talked about them so I don't feel very supported from her either. I know I could switch dr's but I can't switch hubby's LOL.
Ok I guess what I want to know is if these overwhelming feelings about NOT wanting a c/s are normal for other c/s mommies too or if these feelings are so overwhelming to me for a reason and maybe I need to go with my gut instinct. Is it really normal to start bawling every time I think about being rolled in for surgery? I'm at such a loss as to what to do
I don't have a repeat C-section coming like you, but I can understand that you are nervous. I mean any surgery is scary. Did you have an emergency C-section or a bad experience the first time?
I was scared out of my mind the first time I went in. Mine was a scheduled C-section. But it was really a great experience. There were no surprises and I had a great team- both the Drs and nurses were very nice. And the surgery went exactly as everybody had described it. I was at peace when I finally sat on the table and got the spinal.
I wish I could take your fears away and I hope you will have a great experience. Hang in there.
I just spent 3 hours typing out my story about my first c section. Although my next baby isn't due for 3 more months I am already having the same struggles dealing with this issue as you are. I cant seem to think of anything BUT the scheduled c sction. My first one wasnt an emergency and was an overall pleasant experience, but what Im having a hard time coping with is all of the things that come with a vaginal labour (contractions, pains, etc. I had none) that i will never get to experience. Also the idea of surgery again really freaks me out too. I also feel like my doc isnt 100%- or even 10% really- on board, and although my hubby is supportive either way, he really doesnt seem to get how torn up I feel over this.
I dont really have any advice- I'm sorry- as I am feeling the same feelings you are, but I just wanted to atleast let you know that you are DEF not alone in feeling this way. Could you please come back when you've delivered and let me know how things went for you? Either way things will probably go great and you will be blessed with a healthy little baby, but i understand your feelings completely. Hugs!!!!
Well I am currently feeling the same way. Im not due for 13 weeks and the up coming c/s is all I can think about. I tried for 2 months to get the ok for a VBAC but got shot down..... Everything about it has me sweating. the OR, the needle, the worst part is knowing I have to pick a date!
BUT the best way that I comfort myself is by telling myself" the most important thing is bringing home a healthy baby. yes it sucks but if something happened to you or 'jellbean' you wouldnt forgive yourself. "
I hope you find something that makes you feel better about it
It was you who said that! Thank you! "I would never forgive myself if something happened" were the most powerful words I've heard yet since I started talking about my issues and struggles. I felt better about my decision to repeat c/s almost Immediately. Thank you for saying that
All I can say is that I had the same anxiety you are describing before going in for my induction. I really should have listened to my gut instinct, and I will ALWAYS regret ignoring it.
Oh and one of my big reasons for not refusing the induction was that my husband refused to support me and was pressuring me to go along with it. We almost got divorced after the fact. It took me a very long time to be able to look at him and feel anything other than rage and resentment. It would have been much better for our marriage if I had just told him it wasn't his choice and done what I wanted to do.
My daughter is perfect, but her birth was not. If you or someone you love is struggling to cope with a traumatic childbirth experience, please visit http://www.solaceformothers.org/