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VB Jealousy/anger/annoyance


Forum: Cesarean Section Birth

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  • 1 Post By Little Women
  • 1 Post By Oreobaby

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  #1  
October 21st, 2012, 10:50 PM
Oreobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Manitoba Canada
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Hi, none of you know me on this board. I haven't been to JM for quite some time. I stared in JM about 3.5 years ago on the TCYF board...and about 2.5 years ago, gave birth to my beautiful baby girl via the worst emergency c section possible, where they were forced to cut me both ways to get Rayanne out...therefore leaving me no option, but c section for any of my remaining children. I have struggled with the disappointment and heart break of not being able to have a baby vaginally. But today...I found myself bitter. I sat in a room at a pampered chef party full of women that talked about their vaginal births, and how hard it was and how long they labored for, and how many times they had to push to get their babies out, and how they complained about how it hurt, and how it was so long, and I had to bite my tongue. The whole time...just bite my tongue. I just don't understand how I can still feel this way. I mean I knew when I woke up in the OR that I would never be able to have a vaginal birth, and with the difficulties that I had to get my first baby (MC & PCOS) you think that I would be ok with having a scheduled c section...but it hurts.

anyway, it doesn't seem as though many pass through this board, but i did read some posts, and it does make me feel better that I am not the only one that feels this way, it just seems I am the only one that feels this way 2.5 years after her first C section. Thanks for listening. Thanks for letting me vent.
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  #2  
October 23rd, 2012, 10:31 AM
Little Women's Avatar Member
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I was a little bitter before my second c-section. We lived in Florida and I couldn't find a doctor that would even entertain the idea, despite me being a good candidate. Now that this will be my third, again no Dr. will give me the option of a vaginal birth. I'm o.k. with it this time - a little nervous about the scar getting bigger or worse, but otherwise o.k. The bottom line is, it really doesn't matter how baby gets out. You have very little control over that part.
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  #3  
October 25th, 2012, 05:42 PM
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I know where your coming from but I have to be honest....i was able to deliver my daughter by VD but chose not to. I had an elective cs and for me it was a better decision. I dont feel like less of a woman and have always wondered why some women care SO much about delivering naturally...it isnt about how your child makes it into this world as long as you and baby are alive and well the way a person is born means absolutly NOTHING..you dont get a better job or become a better person just because your mom delivered you vaginally lol. Just because a woman has a VD it does not score her points into heaven, the queen of a country or make her ANY different from mothers who had a cs lol. Its a small moment in time (the birth) and as woman we all should be happy that we actually were blessed and are able to HAVE children...lots of lwomen out there dont even GET to experience pregnancy let alone giving birth in what EVER form its in. Be happy and proud mama! I LOVE my cs scar! It reminds me everyday how thankful I am to be a mommy and it reminds me of the happiest day of my life! p.s many of my friends and family have had a VD and TRUST me, a lot of them wish they had a cs! they all have said its not what its cracked up to be

Last edited by Karenna; October 25th, 2012 at 05:59 PM.
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  #4  
October 25th, 2012, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oreobaby View Post
I sat in a room at a pampered chef party full of women that talked about their vaginal births, and how hard it was and how long they labored for, and how many times they had to push to get their babies out, and how they complained about how it hurt, and how it was so long,.
If I were at that party I would have looked at all of those women while listening and felt sorry for them for having to actually go THROUGH all of that LOL!! Its sure as heck isnt something that I want to do thats for sure
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  #5  
October 30th, 2012, 08:19 PM
Oreobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks ladies, you are right. And I guess my judgement was clouded for a moment. It doesn't really matter how our babies get her, just that they are here. thanks for helping me feel better.
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  #6  
November 9th, 2012, 08:31 PM
Twirlbird's Avatar Mia and Henry's Mama
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I completely get what your saying, even though with my second I do get to attempt it, I'm sure how far of the attempt I'll be allowed.

I found the birth of my daughter very sterile and very detached? I didn't feel anything that felt birthy, I just felt cold and pulling. And then whoosh, there is a baby.

You are allowed to feel upset by that fact. You are now denied an experience that is an important one. And its OK to be upset and hurt. Don't deny your emotions, I see that all the time, that because the baby is here and healthy it somehow overrides our experience. And honestly, I don't like seeing that. Of course no mom is going to say sure dead baby as long as I VB!!! A healthy baby is the utmost important. But Moms experience is also important. Its a day shes going to remember.
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  #7  
November 10th, 2012, 06:15 AM
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I know how you feel...I had my c/s because my placenta was too close to my uterus and the dr felt the c/s was best. The date and time was picked for me and I've had an awful recovery (she's 14 weeks now and my incision is still open).

I'm jealous of not having the surprise date of birth, the memories of birth, how vb woman are just up and walking right away and leave the hospital within the day of birth.

I don't know how long this jealousy (or is it anger?) will last, I guess it's the fact that woman grow up their whole life having this imagine of what childbirth is and how it should be and then we end up on an operating table...it's just not the way it's supposed to be. BUT - our babies are healthy and arrived safely. I will except a lifetime of pain and trauma and jealousy as long as my daughter is healthy and safe.
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