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Empowering Csection Delivery Possible?


Forum: Cesarean Section Birth

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  • 1 Post By SkyBaby
  • 1 Post By Wanta.number2

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  #1  
October 15th, 2013, 10:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,384
I haven't posted here in a long time, if ever so hello! This is probably my first thread here.

I had a csection with DD 22 months ago and the experience was less than empowering. This will probably get long. I have to schedule my rcs during my next appointment in 4 weeks and I have more than a few concerns.

Some background info:
I had some medical issues when I was not much older than DD and required a 6 week hospital stay. From that time on, my mom told me even when I was still tiny that I would scream and cry and fight entering into any building that even looked like a hospital/Dr office. The issues I had were fixed by a surgery and I was better and no lasting conditions. I don't have more than vague picture type memories of the hospital stay and subsequent check ups. I had night mares for years from it and can still remember what exactly happened in them. I had my last nightmare around 8-9 years old. I had a needle fear so strong I'd fight them when it came time for shots and blood draws until I was older elementary school age and eventually settled a little. It wasn't until recently, as in during DD's pregnancy, that I really conquered my fear of needles just from all the routine shots and blood draws. That's some of my medical history as a small child and why I freak out about medical procedures more invasive than just a shot/blood draw.

When I got pregnant with DD, I just kept visualizing that natural delivery and even felt confident that it would work out for me, since that's what the majority of women experience. Nope. After laboring 44 hours and reaching pushing, and did for 3 hours, she was stuck so csection. I was basically kind of freaking out the whole time. DH tells me I was happy to see her, but I honestly don't remember that much about seeing her for those few seconds they held her to my face. When she and DH and a nurse left for the nursery, I lost it. Big time. It was so bad my OB was begging to put me under. I was sort of just in mental shock being wheeled out of the OR and into the triage room. I would wait there a solid 1.5 hours before they brought her in and DH came back. She didn't nurse at all until she was 3 weeks old. Why, I don't know and no one else has any theories either. My knee jerk reaction is to blame the csection and thus the long wait to finally holding her. Nursing did eventually work out and we weaned her off formula when I was making enough milk, but it was a lot of work. First my body failed her because I don't feel like I gave birth. The not nursing was icing on the cake. I even had a hard time changing her diaper let alone doing anything for myself because of how much pain I was in. Those first few weeks, I felt worse than useless to her. I never want to deal with those feelings again.

When I got pregnant this time around, I freaked. I was (and still am) terrified of having the same "birth" experience I did with DD. I'm worried this baby will be as colicky as she was and cry endlessly (even experienced moms were saying DD's screaming fits weren't normal). I didn't really start bonding with this baby until sometime around week 20. It's hard thinking I might have another surgery or any of the same issues when I so desperately want to avoid that.

Is it possible, even for someone with my issues, to have an empowering csection birth experience? I was reading about a mom centered csection where they kind of treat it more like natural birth and the mom is more included more than just the typical baby held up to her face for a few seconds before leaving the room kind of thing. If I do go into labor, I will definitely try again, but if I don't, if I can have this kind of experience even with a csection, that would be so much better than the first time around. Am I just dreaming or is this possible?
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  #2  
October 21st, 2013, 01:03 PM
Wanta.number2's Avatar Hi, I'm Tiffani!
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,260
While I did have a few issues this time around, I would have to say that this c/s was definitely more "empowering" than my last experience. With my first son, I was heavily drugged, and like you, I don't remember much. I barely remember them holding him up to me, or DH holding him, something I could not do since I was completely strapped down with an oxygen mask. I was out of it for days and it took me about a week and a half to recover. I had PPD or the baby blues, or whatever you want to call it, with DS, and I really think it was due to the lack of contact between us, and being so drugged that I barely remember the first few days. It was difficult to BF, even though we accomplished it, and every day was hard for a long time.

This time around, I knew I was going to have a section, which I think was helpful, so I could mentally prepare myself. Also, a lot of hospitals are offering more "mom centered" c/s experiences. During my section, which was less than two weeks ago, I had no oxygen mask, I was NOT tied down (which makes a world of difference in my opinion) and we were allowed to have skin to skin time while I was being sewn up and during recovery. I was given a demerol drip, which took the edge off of the pain but didn't make me delirious. I remember everything and was able to bond quickly. It was a MILLION times better than my first experience. The first few days were difficult recovery wise, which is to be expected, but I feel like I was treated like a human this time, instead of being tied down and unable to speak.
My advice, is to mentally prepare for your section as best you can. I think that it can seem worse before you're actually in the midst of it. Also, talk to your doctor about the procedure, medicines they use for pain, possible skin to skin time, etc. Just because you're having a section doesn't mean you can't have a birth plan. Explain to your doctor what your expectations are, and if they can't work with you, move on!
I sincerely wish you luck and a HH9M!
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  #3  
October 21st, 2013, 02:42 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,384
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wanta.number2 View Post
While I did have a few issues this time around, I would have to say that this c/s was definitely more "empowering" than my last experience. With my first son, I was heavily drugged, and like you, I don't remember much. I barely remember them holding him up to me, or DH holding him, something I could not do since I was completely strapped down with an oxygen mask. I was out of it for days and it took me about a week and a half to recover. I had PPD or the baby blues, or whatever you want to call it, with DS, and I really think it was due to the lack of contact between us, and being so drugged that I barely remember the first few days. It was difficult to BF, even though we accomplished it, and every day was hard for a long time.

This time around, I knew I was going to have a section, which I think was helpful, so I could mentally prepare myself. Also, a lot of hospitals are offering more "mom centered" c/s experiences. During my section, which was less than two weeks ago, I had no oxygen mask, I was NOT tied down (which makes a world of difference in my opinion) and we were allowed to have skin to skin time while I was being sewn up and during recovery. I was given a demerol drip, which took the edge off of the pain but didn't make me delirious. I remember everything and was able to bond quickly. It was a MILLION times better than my first experience. The first few days were difficult recovery wise, which is to be expected, but I feel like I was treated like a human this time, instead of being tied down and unable to speak.
My advice, is to mentally prepare for your section as best you can. I think that it can seem worse before you're actually in the midst of it. Also, talk to your doctor about the procedure, medicines they use for pain, possible skin to skin time, etc. Just because you're having a section doesn't mean you can't have a birth plan. Explain to your doctor what your expectations are, and if they can't work with you, move on!
I sincerely wish you luck and a HH9M!
I don't think I'll ever not be nervous about surgery. I don't want to have another panic attack on the operating table either. I really don't know how to deal with it either. I'm sort of going back and forth between being excited at seeing him and dreading the surgery at the same time. Part of me would rather just be knocked out, as in knocked out until I'm home and out of the hospital entirely lol. I know that's not possible. I also know I'd regret not hearing his first cries. I'm not sure I want to remember the experience in the OR better than DD's because it is major surgery. :/ I freaked out and had to turn the channel during a birth show when the mom's csection came on. I'd be a basket case when my time comes. I want to remember seeing him and hopefully being focused on him more than I was on DD. I wasn't drugged with DD, I was just so out of it from 44 hours of labor and barely 5 hours of sleep in that period of time.

The physical recovery was not that bad for me. I was well beyond the realm of sore, being in full blown pain as bad or worse than any contractions I experienced. That kind of pain though only lasted a few days. After I was taken off the stuff they gave me in the hospital (non narcotic as I kind of wig out on that), I only took motrin and was off all pain meds 9 or 10 days post op, but remained achy until about week 4, similar to how you feel after a hard work out and you're not already in shape.

It's not that I have bad physical reactions to this stuff. It's just in my mind. I don't know how to deal with it because for starters, no one around me really takes it seriously. I didn't know how I was feeling was common until I started reading the csection and vbac boards here and googling disappointment after csections.
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  #4  
October 22nd, 2013, 05:23 PM
mama2ladybugs's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 626
I'm not certain how to give any good advice on the matter. I've only had 1 c-section and it was a positive experience. Finding out I had to have one and having half an hour to prepare myself for it was h*** because I was planning a vaginal delivery but she was breech. But everyone was amazing through it all and kept me very comfortable. I was even laughing as I was listening to them joke around with each other. If it wasn't for the fact that I knew how well I could trust them, because my favorite dr was doing the surgery, that would've freaked me out that they were joking around with each other. LOL. But I had so much trust and I knew how great he was, so it only made me feel better.

I really only am mentioning this because I know from personal experience that positive ones can happen and that's honestly all I have to offer you. I'm sorry the first one didn't go well for you and I truly hope that this one is so different!
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  #5  
October 23rd, 2013, 09:29 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,384
Quote:
Originally Posted by babygreenes.mommy View Post
I'm not certain how to give any good advice on the matter. I've only had 1 c-section and it was a positive experience. Finding out I had to have one and having half an hour to prepare myself for it was h*** because I was planning a vaginal delivery but she was breech. But everyone was amazing through it all and kept me very comfortable. I was even laughing as I was listening to them joke around with each other. If it wasn't for the fact that I knew how well I could trust them, because my favorite dr was doing the surgery, that would've freaked me out that they were joking around with each other. LOL. But I had so much trust and I knew how great he was, so it only made me feel better.

I really only am mentioning this because I know from personal experience that positive ones can happen and that's honestly all I have to offer you. I'm sorry the first one didn't go well for you and I truly hope that this one is so different!
I like my OB over all. He's obviously very skilled. His personality well.. I don't know him and the only side he shows is very professional, but he's nice enough. It is kind of funny watching him interact with DD in the exam room while I ask my questions. He did seem genuinely concerned with my obvious fear over being on the operating table. I remember this for some reason, when he lifted DD up for me to see her, I was still having a panic attack and that must have worried him because for a second there, his eyes changed from smiling to genuine concern, then he handed DD off to a nurse and disappeared behind the drape all in the course of about 5 seconds. It's not just disappointment I dealt with. That would have been much easier to bounce back from. My biggest issue right now is my fear facing another surgery. It's almost like a phobia.
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In loving memory of our angel baby, with us for 4 weeks. Baby went to be with God July 24th, 2009.




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