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Fed Up! *sigh*


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  #1  
May 12th, 2009, 03:06 AM
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Location: United Kingdom
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I'm on CD17 today and no ovulation yet - last cycle it was CD16 so I was hoping for the same even though it does move around alot. But this trying for a baby is really getting to me. DH and I are getting at odds with each other.
He's got the week off work (from last Saturday) and I was hoping that would mean we could easily put in more bedding and oh-how-lucky it was to coincide with around the time I should ovulate but every day just seems more stressful. Not just ttc but, like, our oven packed up, some money issues have arose making things a little tighter, and general stuff - with him being home he's moaning about the 'clutter' of things. We live in a apartment/flat so space is tight but I insist on keeping baby clothes, maternity clothes and some memorabilia from our D's babyhood - although I do also pass alot on to charity.
Anyhoo, we bedded Friday then I wanted 'it' Sun incase I ovualated Mon (CD16) but D had gotten us up at 5am that morning, then with (my) work and everything I got D to bed at 7pm and wanted to DTD but DH didn't and was like 'we only did it yesterday' and I'm 'no, actually Friday'. Anyhoo...I sulked for a bit and had to say what I didn't want to say, about being worried if we didn't do it we'd miss ovulation...you know, totally takes the passion out of it and DH hates feeling 'pressured' and doesn't really want to KNOW about ovulation. But anyhoo, later when it was really late and I could hardly keep my eyes open we did DTD (and it was good after all the fuss!).
Then yesterday, after another stressful day (cleaning the oven, taking it apart to see what was wrong, D getting upset by our lack of attention, going food shopping, park and then ME going to work) I was hoping we could bed again when I got home (9pm) just for optimum chance but when I walk in D isn't asleep (She goes bed at 7pm usually!) but I get ready for bed and get her down at 9.30pm. DH is watching football and when I hint at bedding he is like and and anyhoo, we don't do it and I'm too tired to argue but I feel upset cos I'm thinking we have NO CHANCE at EVER getting a BFP at this rate. When he is back at work, working nights, we'll be back to once a week sex, two if we're lucky, and we're never going to catch that egg!
I feel like giving up but of course I can't NOT 'try'....I mean, I should just plod along not even caring when I ovulate but time is ticking. I can't believe a whole year has been wasted with my short luteal phase when all I need was to take B6 and we could have 'accidently' got a BFP by now.
And then after all this fuss I haven't even ovulated yet - according to my temps so far - or could be ovulating today or whatever (takes three temp days to confirm ovulation) but I daren't even try to initiate bedding again tonight so I am convinced our chance is lost this month and the thought of ANOTHER month being pointless is devastating. I don't know how much more I can take yet can't seem to 'stop' either if you know what I mean.

Well, thanks for listening to my rant!
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Seperated June 2010 from my husband. One daughter DOB 26/07/2006. BFP 06/01/2011, due september but 'high risk' for premature birth.

Hi. Im Jolene. 31 years old. I suffered three years of a short luteal phase and didnt think I could get pregnant again without medical assistance but fell pregnant by accident and naturally. I am really happy and excited to be having a baby although knowing Im going it alone this time is a bit daunting and scary!
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  #2  
May 12th, 2009, 07:19 AM
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If you are by chance ovulating right now you may have caught the egg! Don't give up hope quite yet. Sorry things are so stressful, and you're right - it's impossible 'not to try'. Or to just stop thinking about it.
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  #3  
May 12th, 2009, 07:44 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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*sigh* I know - he thinks doing it every two or three days will be enough but there has been plenty of cycles where we have done it at the perfect time - heck, last cycle I got ovulation pains an hour after doing the deed which was later confirmed by my temps but still nothing.

Tell me if I'm being silly but I was thinking that maybe if we could do it the day before AND the day of ovulation then maybe the second - you know - dose would help push the first load up further???

I remember watching a fertility programme and this couple were saying that - for them - the magic formula was doing the deed three nights in a row over ovulation even when not doing it at all the rest of the time? They were on their third child with that 'method'...
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Jo xxx






Seperated June 2010 from my husband. One daughter DOB 26/07/2006. BFP 06/01/2011, due september but 'high risk' for premature birth.

Hi. Im Jolene. 31 years old. I suffered three years of a short luteal phase and didnt think I could get pregnant again without medical assistance but fell pregnant by accident and naturally. I am really happy and excited to be having a baby although knowing Im going it alone this time is a bit daunting and scary!
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  #4  
May 12th, 2009, 10:02 AM
2Reasons2Smile's Avatar Love my little family <3
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Oh hunny Sorry DH is being far less than helpful right now with TTC. You do still have a chance sperm can live upto 3 to 5 days. But I know how hard it is to be optimistic when you have been trying as long as you have and the one person who should be super supportive is not being helpful or supportive. Your very right about the fact of not being able to NOT try.
Eric would be ecstatic if I were the one to initiate several days a week, since it's normally him.
I am not sure about the DTD the day before and then day of pushing things further up but whats the harm in trying you never know it may!
I hope things become less stressful for you!
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  #5  
May 12th, 2009, 11:50 AM
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Well I'm not going to say/offer myself today (which usually has the opposite effect on him - maybe its a man thing but he likes to initiate, although the odd sponatious offer from me is usually welcome, at least before ttc!). If I ovulate today then Sunday's bedding will have to have been enough....although I think our chances are very low! I know they say sperm lives for upto 3days+ but I'm having my doubts from seeing so many people ttc but getting BFN (looking at charts).

As I've only cured my short LP for 2 cycles, this being my third, I'm not sure how long I should keep on going before maybe seeing a doctor for help? Not that they can really DO anything? I don't know. Maybe OPK's will be more useful for timing as it gives you a 24hr window whereas temping only confirms ovulation after?
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Jo xxx






Seperated June 2010 from my husband. One daughter DOB 26/07/2006. BFP 06/01/2011, due september but 'high risk' for premature birth.

Hi. Im Jolene. 31 years old. I suffered three years of a short luteal phase and didnt think I could get pregnant again without medical assistance but fell pregnant by accident and naturally. I am really happy and excited to be having a baby although knowing Im going it alone this time is a bit daunting and scary!
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  #6  
May 12th, 2009, 02:36 PM
2Reasons2Smile's Avatar Love my little family <3
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I know around here they only say if you haven't conceived within a year of trying to see a doctor for help but as I think you have said before with breastfeeding there is little they will do to help since there is not much you can take for fertility while BF'ing all they seem to suggest is to stop BF'ing. But you could always go and see what they may have to say, they may have suggestions on other things you can take, or do an u/s to make sure all is in working order etc...
You could try OPK's for a little bit to see if they will help but it could get costly but so can a dr if things are not covered. Hopefully if you don't initiate tonight DH will.
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  #7  
May 12th, 2009, 03:35 PM
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Just a lurker here, but I wanted to say, my son was conceived a little over a year ago when I thought we had missed our chance. We BD'd last on CD 15, I ovulated late on CD18 and caught the egg! So you never know Good luck!
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  #8  
May 13th, 2009, 01:43 AM
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Thanks Wishful girl! Thats usedul to know.

Anyhoo we did DTD last night (not offering worked! lol)) but I still haven't ovulated yet which is frustrating! Either I'm going to get a short LP (no no no) or a longer cycle? Darn! Remember when I said that my cycle/ovulation/temps always throws in something new to keep me from relaxing! *sigh*

I think its getting close though cos my boobs are starting to get that irritated-when-nursing feel.

Anyhoo, I've ordered some OPK's for next cycle. At least I'll only feel like I HAVE to jump/persuade hubby to DTD once I get two lines rather than guessng and holding out like now.

Ps- EDIT - (haha, love how this site *** over me using the word 'd-a-m-n' instead of darn yet kept boobs! )
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Jo xxx






Seperated June 2010 from my husband. One daughter DOB 26/07/2006. BFP 06/01/2011, due september but 'high risk' for premature birth.

Hi. Im Jolene. 31 years old. I suffered three years of a short luteal phase and didnt think I could get pregnant again without medical assistance but fell pregnant by accident and naturally. I am really happy and excited to be having a baby although knowing Im going it alone this time is a bit daunting and scary!
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  #9  
May 13th, 2009, 06:38 PM
Kisses-4-Baby's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2Dakota View Post
Ps- EDIT - (haha, love how this site *** over me using the word 'd-a-m-n' instead of darn yet kept boobs! )
!

Aw i'm sorry your cycle is being stubborn. At least you got a BD in yesterday just in case you O (which you probably will) over the next couple of days. Yeah I probably wouldn't even ask for BD anymore if that's what works I hope this one is the BFP cycle Jo!
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  #10  
May 14th, 2009, 02:08 AM
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lol, we almost DTD again last night! But he couldn't finish - well, our D woke up too so that put an end to continuing! Funny how backing off worked with getting him more willing though!
Well, I can see now my only option is to try Ovulation sticks (ordered some on eBay for next cycle) because then I can try sneaky persuasion just the once or twice when I get two lines on the test and let the rest of the time be more natural and not so much about baby-making.

As you can see, even though we have a chance this cycle, I am already writing it off as not gonna happen. I let my hopes get up too much on previous cycles so this one I am just telling myself it won't be so and wait for AF. Easier to wait that way!

Not sure if my temps are accurate this cycle anyways....D has been waking me up early and I take my temp but it is low then when I take it again at my normal time it is higher. Means I won't be a hundred percent sure of my LP but in the end the only results that matter are AF or BFP right.
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Jo xxx






Seperated June 2010 from my husband. One daughter DOB 26/07/2006. BFP 06/01/2011, due september but 'high risk' for premature birth.

Hi. Im Jolene. 31 years old. I suffered three years of a short luteal phase and didnt think I could get pregnant again without medical assistance but fell pregnant by accident and naturally. I am really happy and excited to be having a baby although knowing Im going it alone this time is a bit daunting and scary!
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  #11  
May 15th, 2009, 01:27 AM
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Well, I think fertility friend will put me as ovulating CD18. Need tomorrows temp to confirm it then I can stop temping and just wait. But I got first ovulation cramps today so it could be wrong? My temps are still low (but above pre-ov temps, just) but I've had slow-rise temps before.
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Jo xxx






Seperated June 2010 from my husband. One daughter DOB 26/07/2006. BFP 06/01/2011, due september but 'high risk' for premature birth.

Hi. Im Jolene. 31 years old. I suffered three years of a short luteal phase and didnt think I could get pregnant again without medical assistance but fell pregnant by accident and naturally. I am really happy and excited to be having a baby although knowing Im going it alone this time is a bit daunting and scary!
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  #12  
May 15th, 2009, 09:04 AM
2Reasons2Smile's Avatar Love my little family <3
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It could be a little off cause you did say your temps are not as accurate cause D has been waking you up early. Just get to BD'ing there all weekend (not offering and hoepfully DH will) goodluck!
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  #13  
May 15th, 2009, 10:32 AM
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Well I think we've 'done enough' in the bedding department to stand a chance and DH seems better now - perhaps I just caught him on an off day?
My sis has got Dakota overnight today *yikes* (only second time ever) so will be over 30hrs of no nursing (my poor boobs!) and who knows, might give my body a bigger fertility boost.
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Jo xxx






Seperated June 2010 from my husband. One daughter DOB 26/07/2006. BFP 06/01/2011, due september but 'high risk' for premature birth.

Hi. Im Jolene. 31 years old. I suffered three years of a short luteal phase and didnt think I could get pregnant again without medical assistance but fell pregnant by accident and naturally. I am really happy and excited to be having a baby although knowing Im going it alone this time is a bit daunting and scary!
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  #14  
May 15th, 2009, 01:36 PM
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i take it since you're on this board you are still bf'ing? if you think that's affecting your luteal phase, then why are you still, since your daughter is almost 3? It might take away some of the stress if you knew you were ovulating every month and had more opportunities.... hang in there!
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  #15  
May 16th, 2009, 12:36 AM
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I know, its a very common question. I always knew I would breastfeed but I thought you only nursed for 6mths. My midwife kept saying 'Try for a year' and so I started talking online to other mums who nursed longer and very very quickly (my D was still only about 3mths) I decided I liked the idea of letting her self wean and follow natures pattern of breastfeeding not rules that are still based on victorian practises.
I did have a comfort level of about age 3 in my mind and I also thought that after age 1 my daughter would cut down to one or two feeds a day - but she has always been a BIG booby monster!
In the end - after trying unsuccessfully to night wean her I managed to reason with her to stop day feeds (it worked from day one of me saying 'no milkies until its dark'). So now she is on bedtime, middle-of-night and morning feed.
With regard to fertility - I knew nothing of all this for a very long time. Getting pregs - but miscarrying - made me believe 'well I CAN get pregs and it was just unfortunate to lose that one' and I charted and knew I was ovulating every cycle. When I realised about the luteal phase and researched I did agonise over IF nursing was causing it or not. As a mother you get torn between doing whats right and best for your one child over what you want for yourself - ie to concieve another. To go through the heartache of forcing my D to stop, damaging our bond, for the sake of wanting another child (something else the first has to cope with, feeling pushed out) would make me feel terrible and guilty. Plus I wanted to tandum feed (unlikely now).
I did say to myself that I would give it upto age 3 and then if this problem with my luteal phase wasn't fixed I would stop nursing..and I have been preparing my D for months now telling her that nursing stops on her 3rd birthday which she is so far accepting and agreeing to. But I HAVE fixed my luteal phase without stopping nursing so it proves that although nursing may have distubed my hormone balance enough to cause it at first (although it could be other reasons too that caused a B6 deficiency) I don't have to force weaning. I will still continue to try to naturaly encourage her to stop but the pressure is off now and for that I am happy.
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Jo xxx






Seperated June 2010 from my husband. One daughter DOB 26/07/2006. BFP 06/01/2011, due september but 'high risk' for premature birth.

Hi. Im Jolene. 31 years old. I suffered three years of a short luteal phase and didnt think I could get pregnant again without medical assistance but fell pregnant by accident and naturally. I am really happy and excited to be having a baby although knowing Im going it alone this time is a bit daunting and scary!

Last edited by Mommy2Dakota; May 16th, 2009 at 12:40 AM.
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  #16  
May 16th, 2009, 09:33 PM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am sorry DH was not as willing as you would have hoped for. But I am glad that he got with the program I hope you caught that egg!

P.S. If you want to post a link to your chart I would be happy to look at it for you. But the PP is right being up with DD could cause your temps to be off. Do you track your CM too? For me that is the BEST way to predict my fertility.
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