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For the last few days I have been SOOO far beyond bitter and moody. With the stress of the last two months, I can't even guess whether or not to blame it on potentially being pg or if its JUST stress. However...
Yesterday I had to go to the redeployment ceremony for dh. Now, when they did the deployment ceremony I was apparently worthy of seats in the VIP section but not this time. This time it was reserved for a bunch of local nationals, many of whom did precisely SQUAT for the soldiers or families while they were deployed, however the FRG leaders who busted our arses for the last 15 (actually closer to 20 months because we had to set up the group from scratch) months got relegated to the cheap seats... no only that... they had heaters in the VIP sections and yet the blankets were supposedly ONLY for the VIP.... yea, you guessed it... I marched my no-so-happy little butt over there and simply took one, daring anyone to say a word. It was freaking COLD! (sitting at the edge of a parade field in the low 30's, wind blowing at us, sun setting so temp started dropping). So... yea.... then, during the ceremony (I really don't know why I didn't expect this, it is an armored division) they set off the canons... I have PTSD from my time in Iraq... I don't do well with loud noises or running helicopters. So yea, thankfully my best friend mentioned it and warned me and I told her my stance... she helped me out.
Ok, next issue... dh's stupid sports car. My penny pinching husband (he opens his wallet and George Washington squints) bought himself a $34g BMW.... without ever actually seeing it in person. Even his mom doesn't know what got into him (trust me, I know all about the battle mind stuff... dh pushed a desk inside a fortified camp... he was not out in the populous kicking in doors or facing ied's and this is NOT his first time in a war zone... actually its his 4th). So we really have no idea what the hell is going on EXCEPT for the fact that I'm NOT goign to be getting a vacation any time soon because we'll be paying for his stupid car. I am really starting to hate that car... he never wants to let me drive it until today and even then it felt more like a "I'll let you drive it if it will shut you up" consolation rather than a vehicle that I actually have some claim to...
EVERYTHING I do seems to be wrong... I say something and get looked at like he really honestly thinks I should just stand there silently and smile dutifully. DOES HE NOT REMEMBER ME AT ALL? He comes home and changes everything, looks at me like I'm some kind of idiot mother because the toddlers are acting out now that he's home (actually started about two days before... go figure, they pick up on my stress) and apparently its all my fault. If it weren't for the fact that the last 15 months have proven to me that I can't do the single mommy thing to 4 children and I couldn't leave them behind either... I'd tell him to go **** himself.
So.... do I have a reason to feel so bitter or am I just being moody and overreacting?
I understand where you are coming from hon. My bf doesn't let me so much as touch the steering wheel on his car and the girls are not even allowed inside it. Meanwhile he feels free to mess up my car with various bits of rubbish he leaves in it and more often than not spills coffee in it. With two toddlers and a baby on the way I know how it feels to be moaned at about the kids behaviour when I have enough stress already being pregnant. The other day my oldest whose two was playing nicely and happily but very loudly and he picked a fight with me over it because he was trying to read a book! If I wasn't pregnant I would have screamed at him she's your child to you tell her if you think she is being noisy. I told him where he could shove his book! I have my days where I could really just take off and I think I would of it wasn't for the girls and the good times we do have but sometimes men can be so irritating! Hope you feel better soon. Hugs
HHhhhmmm. If John acted like that, I'd corner him and force him to tell me what's up. (I've done it numerous times) Sounds like you two need to have a no kid no family heart to heart. Even if it's just something minor, he needs to spill it, your his other half and you have a right to know!