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  #1  
January 9th, 2009, 06:59 PM
Bakin8th's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: B.C. Canada
Posts: 3,734
I am so deeply sorry your going through this..

Feel free to PM me any time if you want to talk.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
~IRENE~ MOM TO 8 KIDDOES! DS 18, DD 16, DD 14, DD 8, DS 6, DD 4, DS 3 and DS 1

Ttcing #9 After TWO 2nd trimester loss's and FIVE 1st trimester loss's. Missing our 8 ANGEL'S

IUI W/CLOMID/TRIGGER FEB 12/13 09!

Kyle (absent) Chelsea, Miki, Hanna, Johna, Sari, Jessiah and Isaiah.



THE LORD GIVES AND TAKES AWAY MY HEART WILL CHOOSE TO SAY BLESSED BE HIS WONDERFUL NAME!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our 8 Greatly missed Angels
12W, 6W, 6W, 9W 1 twin, 5W
17W twins (sex unkown) and "Elijah"
17W "Angel"
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  #2  
January 10th, 2009, 04:14 AM
ktbabe's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hereford, England
Posts: 474
Thanks hun.

I think I let my guard down this time. Instead of worrying, I was planning. Even had a girls name ready as I knew that would be the hardest thing to decide (having 4 girls already).
Dh kissed my belly when I found out I was pregnant.
Even started to look into a homebirth.


Why didnt I just ignore the fact I was pregnant and just go with the flow instead of thinking too much. Maybe it would have been easier. Its not like its my first loss either.

I had my first beta ...they dont do betas here....but because I had bleeding they decided to do some betas whilst waiting for an u/s appointment. The first came back at 453....48 hours later it was 1255...that was last Saturday. Monday was my u/s appointment. They said there was no heartbeat - I was miscarrying. I couldnt believe them, after all, the betas came back so good....so she decided to do another beta and even started wondering if the u/s tech was wrong. 5 hours later the beta result came back as 800....

Been bleeding since. Today I passed a clot that looked just like a sac, cord and placenta....just a mini version. I'm hoping thats the end of it now and the bleeding will stop, my cycles will go back to normal, and I can start ttc again.

Its left a huge horrible ache in my heart Even worse that my previous m/c's and I cant really understand why. All I have done is sob.

Sucks.
__________________
Mom to:
Georgia, 11
Cameron, 8
Taryn, 6
Reagan, 4
Evie-Jo, 2.5


..and 4 angels in heaven


TTC#6
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  #3  
January 10th, 2009, 08:03 PM
Bakin8th's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: B.C. Canada
Posts: 3,734
Your post brought me to tears

I know nothing I can say can make you feel better although I wish it could.

I cant express how sorry I am that you had to experince loseing another baby all over again.

I felt really blind sided with my last m/c even though I was early. I have to admit for the first time in all my loss's I was angry and even more angry with myself for beliveing and getting my hopes up. I think for me loseing that deam once again was just too much after loseing my 2nd at 17W then 3rd in First tri in 24 months..I broke inside. I took it much harder then I expected I would

I was angry that I was Thanking God I was loseing my baby early and not in 2nd tri like last times then I was even more bitter at what I had to Thank God for.

I was angry I cant trust beta's, U/S and even my own body that all might be ok even when everything looks perfect.

Now that some time to heal has past I feel differntly but still I have learned like you the hard way that not to let my guard down and that makes me angry since we dont get to enjoy the first tri or for me even 2nd tri knowing what can and did happen. It is fusterateing because we have unexplained loss's and Dr's are stumped.

Inspite of that I still have Faith. I say after each loss ...the next time I might get lucky and have a healthy pg.. and that keeps me going.

I am praying you find some peace and when you ttc again you have a healthy pg and are holding your sweet bundle of joy soon. I hope you can allow yourself the luxury of just missing your baby/dream and feeling all you need too do be able to grieve your loss. I am here anytime you want to talk. I am going to PM you my MSN addy as well.

Please take care of yourself



__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
~IRENE~ MOM TO 8 KIDDOES! DS 18, DD 16, DD 14, DD 8, DS 6, DD 4, DS 3 and DS 1

Ttcing #9 After TWO 2nd trimester loss's and FIVE 1st trimester loss's. Missing our 8 ANGEL'S

IUI W/CLOMID/TRIGGER FEB 12/13 09!

Kyle (absent) Chelsea, Miki, Hanna, Johna, Sari, Jessiah and Isaiah.



THE LORD GIVES AND TAKES AWAY MY HEART WILL CHOOSE TO SAY BLESSED BE HIS WONDERFUL NAME!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our 8 Greatly missed Angels
12W, 6W, 6W, 9W 1 twin, 5W
17W twins (sex unkown) and "Elijah"
17W "Angel"
Reply With Quote
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