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Going from 3 to 4?


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  #1  
May 2nd, 2009, 07:17 AM
Regular
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 74
We have three little ones so far, just turned 5, 3.5 and 16 months. I'm contemplating a 4th, but am a bit afraid. Here are my concerns:

1. The baby's health - I'm 35 now and we've had 3 healthy babies, not sure why I feel that risk increases with additional pregnancies.

2. That something will happen to me during pregnancy/childbirth and I won't be here for the other 3.

3. That I'll be taking away from the other 3. It's a great mix right now, the two boys are the oldest and are two peas on a pod. The 3rd is a girl and keeps in tow w/the other two.

Why do I want another one then?

1. As we've grown, I've seen how adding a sibling is a gift to the other ones.

2. I've always wanted a bigger family, I think 4 would be great.

3. I like being pregnant

4. I just feel like there may be one more 'waiting'

Am I crazy? Would love to hear your concerns and experiences as you've added to your families.

TIA,

Stace
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  #2  
May 2nd, 2009, 03:54 PM
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 19
Good Lord, I could've almost written your post, except I'm 36. Our kids are 5, 3, and 15 months (and the older two are girls, the baby is a boy). But, my concerns and reasons for wanting another are identical to yours. Truthfully, I'd rather wait about 2 years for a 4th, even though I'll be 38 then. As you know, the two year difference in the kids is a bit challenging (and good, too). Every time I've had a new baby, the next oldest is 2 years old - not an easy age to deal with. I'm just not up for adding another newborn all over again.

My biggest problem is that my dh is totally not on board for another child. I keep telling him that in two years, things will be a bit easier. He can already see that the kids are much easier to deal with as they age. But, he also will be 40 and doesn't want to "be raising babies when he's 40." Sigh... I don't know. I'm just letting it go for a little while and hoping that he will come around. I know our family would be thrilled with another child. I just don't know if men are as able to look long term as we are.

Please keep me posted on your decision. What does your dh say?
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  #3  
May 3rd, 2009, 03:29 PM
nicolelogg's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Tigard Oregon
Posts: 6,695
Well I have a 5 year old, a 3 and a half yearold, and a 22 month old, my first two are girls, and my last is a boy, and in about 2 weeks we will be welcoming our 4th baby, we don't know the sex but are very excited. I am younger however, I am 28, my dh is 36 though. I think if you really want another one you should go for it.
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  #4  
May 4th, 2009, 05:44 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 142
First of all, good luck with whatever you decide.
I think once you have one child, you tend to worry about things like that. I know I do and did. I'm not so worried about having another, just about everyday life and not being here for them. But, I figure what's meant to be will be.
I just went from 3 to 4 and it's easy. I mean, somedays I feel a little stretched, but I just make sure to get everything in for them. So, if it means waiting to do dishes, laundry, etc. til after bed time. So be it. It'll all be there later.
Enjoy the moment, do what makes YOU happy and fulfilled!
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  #5  
May 4th, 2009, 09:31 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
I have 3 right now, they are all fairly close together ( I had 4 in 6 1/2 years)...I have to say that going from 3-4 was very easy, and that's why I want another one! Good luck!
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  #6  
May 6th, 2009, 02:08 PM
Regular
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 74
My dh is on board with whatever decision I make. The first two pregnancies were planned, I knew I wanted a 3rd but she still ended being a surprise (a bit earlier than I'd planned) so this is the first time it's really been a decision. UGH!
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  #7  
May 6th, 2009, 06:44 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Richlands NC
Posts: 3,348
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We have a soon to be 14yr old, an 11 yr old, a 15 mth old and are expecting our 4th in 4 weeks. (All boys except the 11 yr old, and shes such a tomboy might as well call her one!) The 15mth old and the expected are prosducts of a tubal reversal. Even though we still have 4 weeks to go, and will have 4 kids, we are already discussing the next. Maybe we will change our minds when we have the 4 to deal with but Im not thinking so. We are thinking of waiting 2 years and giving it a go one last time (or two). It is a tough decesion to make, and many factors to base that decesion. Good luck either way!
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  #8  
May 6th, 2009, 08:18 PM
MotherFrog's Avatar lost in la la land
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: lost in Iowa
Posts: 6,537
lol Stace, you are not crazy, in fact far from it. The feeling you have that you aren't done and would love to gift your family with another child, is the true sign of a large family mommy, IMO.

Just because 'supposedly' when you turn 35, your risks increase, does not mean anything actually will happen. There are a lot of 'older' mommies on the boards, try seeking them out for reassurance.

My step-mom gave birth to my little brother when she was 37 and Mike is a normal, ornery, try to beat up his big sister, little boy.

They only say that to protect themselves hun, my own sisters, who are in their 20's have issues with their pregnancies that supposedly only happen to women in their late 30's and 40's. The conception game itself is a gamble.

I wish you the best of luck and from what I read, your heart is already set on another. I hope you get your BFP when you are ready for it!

Welcome to the board!
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