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I have three children ages, (In June) 7, 4, and 2. My husband is in the Army and is set to deploy at the end of 2010. With this development, we decided we wanted to try for baby #4. Normally this decision would be marked with joy, but for us, it's built with more worry than we thought. The reason? Our families. They didn't support us having a third child and when we told them we were expecting baby #3, we got very little congrats and tons of rude comments about learning how to prevent pregnancy. It was very disheartning. Now that we are activly trying for #4, we both know that when we announce our pregnancy, we will be faced with no support, rude comments, and tons of question about "why" we chose to get pregnant. The main reason our families don't support us having another baby is because they don't feel it's practical to have so many children in this day and age. Sure, we aren't rich, but we have always been able to provide for our family...we are doing ok. But that doesn't matter to them...and it makes me sad.
I don't really know what I'm asking for here...maybe I'm just venting...IDK.
But any words of wisdom or just any heartfelt comments would be great.
Hi there and welcome! I'm Shannon, momma to 4 kiddos 9,7,4, and 3 months. We, also had the same thing with our 3rd, of course they came around. Then with the 4th, it was like I said I declared war on some country. LOL Now, I am 31 and I emailed my mom to tell her, just because I didn't want to hear the huff's and puff's. In the end, again, they all came around and are happy she's here.
We are probably going to try for 1 more, soon. I can't wait to hear that.
What it comes down to, is do what makes you happy and what is right for you. Don't let anyone discourage you from being you. I follow the "everything happens for a reason" plan, and I don't want to miss out on "what could've been".
So, just follow your heart and try not to worry about the others.
We didn't get that great of a reception about #1 .. actually .. we didn't get that great of a reception about getting married But once MIL got over it she became the hugest fan of our firstborn, complete with tattoo of his initial and birthdate. #2 actually came with great response and comments about how far apart they would be making them close as they grew up with reference to how close her own children were that were that close apart. She talked about getting that second tattoo but still hasn't, and now we have #3. There wasn't much excitement over that announcement. As for my mother, there was a somewhat pleasant, though distracted, response followed by comments that I needed to take a break after this one and that I really should have taken a break after the last one. Honestly, if we are blessed again, I'm not intending to make an announcement to family. We have church family that will fully share our excitement. For us though, our family knows how we feel about these things so they'll be expecting it and thankfully they do the vast majority of their "thought sharing" between themselves rather than to us. I would just like to think that they love and appreciate all the little ones equally and at times it just doesn't feel that way.
I can definitely understand what you mean. I think the pressures of family, friends, and co-workers are the main reason my dh doesn't want a 4th; it's not what "everyone" around us has done. Like you said, you'll find support in your church family and most importantly, each other. If you're both in agreement, there should be nothing stopping you from announcing your news with excitement when it happens. Gl to you.