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Advice needed on 5 year old


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  #1  
September 5th, 2006, 10:18 AM
tootienkyle's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ok...all 3 of my girls dance.

Kelsey (14) competes with her company...she has 4 dance classes a week...plus cheerleading..she has danced since she was 5.

Meaghan (11) dances and has danced since she was 5 also..she has 2 dance classes a week...1 being acro.

Lauren (5) who is supposed to start tonight....we have talked about it and she insists that she doesn't want to dance. She just started last year and did well...even at recital on the big stage...her best friend is in her class also..but she says she doesn't want to anymore...

I don't want to make her, but feel she might not know what she is deciding here...what about you? what would you do? take her? or just let her sit this year out and ask again next year???
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<div align="center">Denise, loving wife to Kyle, and the bestest mommy in the whole wide world of Kelsey (16), Meaghan (13), Timmy (9) and Lauren (6)!!!!!!!!</div>
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  #2  
September 5th, 2006, 10:37 AM
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Is she interested in doing something else? That's great your older two enjoy dance but maybe Lauren would rather play soccer or t-ball or something else. I personally would not make her go. My parents never made us take any activity we didn't want to but once we made the commitment we had to finish out the season. I plan on using that same rule for my own children.
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  #3  
September 5th, 2006, 11:06 AM
tootienkyle's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Lauren isn't interested in anything else..But I don't mind that she isn't. I never did anything as a child and I think I turned out just fine. I have let my older 2 girls quit dance when they have wanted to because there was 1 time in each of their dancing that they got burned out on it...but they always chose to come back to it. With Lauren being so young, I think she will come back to it (if she is interested)

I have never made the kids do anything either and don't plan on it. I think that just makes the kids not want to do it more...but I am with you..once they start it and the other children or teachers or coaches are counting on them, I don't let me quit. I think I will call and tell them she doesn't want to come this year! Thank you for your advice!
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<div align="center">Denise, loving wife to Kyle, and the bestest mommy in the whole wide world of Kelsey (16), Meaghan (13), Timmy (9) and Lauren (6)!!!!!!!!</div>
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  #4  
September 5th, 2006, 04:16 PM
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I think that's a good idea. Maybe if she sees her sisters and her friend having fun with it she'll change her mind and want to go back in Jan or next year. If she still doesn't seem interested I guess you'll know its just not for her.
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  #5  
September 5th, 2006, 10:40 PM
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hi there -
is your youngest shy??? i know that my 5 year old is a little timid at times and he gets nervous starting something new, even if it is something he did and loved the previous year. but once we talk to him about it, preschool, hockey, etc then he remembers how much fun it is and is ok about going. on the other hand if he really didn't want to do something, with the exception of school, i would not make him go
good luck
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  #6  
September 9th, 2006, 08:12 PM
~* LiSa *~
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I just had this same problem with my 4 year old! I tried to get her to dance when she turned 3, but she made it quite clear she was not ready yet. (crying for me while in class)

So we waited the year out, I even brought her with me to each of my other daughters dance classes, so she would be familiar with the studio and what not. So prior to the dance season kick-off, I asked her again, if she wanted to dance. Her eyes lit up and she screamed "YES! THANK YOU MOMMY!"

So off we went to the store to buy ballet slippers, tap shoes and a few new dance outfits. She was so anxious the day of dance, all she could talk about at pre-school was going to dance class that evening. Well, that evening came! I brought her into the dance class, then watched from the window as she danced around the studio, following the teacher around. Low and behold, 5 minutes into it, she put her fingers in her mouth and ran to her teacher, completely hysterical. She wanted Mommy.

After 20 minutes of trying to convince her to give it a shot, she blunty told me to take her shoes back to the store because she does not want to dance this year.

I decided that it isn't worth it to try to talk her into it, since afterall, she is the one dancing and not me. If she doesn't want to do it, fine. I could not see myself making her do something just to please me. As much as I'd love to see her do dance, if she doesn't want it...that is her decision. I did, however, suggest gymnastics and even drove her to the gymnastics studio to check it out. We ended up doing a trial class and she absolutely LOVED it! She forgot about me once she reached the floor! After the hour of class was up, she ran to me and said "Thank you Mommy, that was all I wanted my whole life!" (even at the tender age of 4!)

I have four daughters, two of which are in dance because dancing is their clearly their passion. My other two girls gave it a shot, but one decided dancing wasn't for her and decided to stick with soccer. And of course my youngest decided she wanted gymnastics. I'm greatful that I am able to allow my children to follow what THEY want to do, rather than what I want them to do. I think it is important to let your children decide what makes them happy, and support that decision 100%. I'd much rather see my daughter doing something she loves, with a smile on her face, than to see her do something she doesn't want to do - just to please me.

Have you tried other things, such as gymnastics? Give her some options, let her try them out and let her decide what makes her happy. She'll love you for it!

Good luck!
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  #7  
September 9th, 2006, 11:06 PM
Miles
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Hello just popping in here. I have a 5 yr old as well, she bowls(I know silly) but she loves it. She started last year and this year she decided she didnt want to do it. And its one of those things that you cant just get her in at after its started. I told her she has to stay out the whole time if she wishes to not do it again. She said nope she didnt want to. I told her it was fine and that was that. I think you should let it go if she doesnt want to do it, but maybe take her to go watch her sisters and her friend so maybe she will want to do it next year. My sisters kids bowl as well so we go watch them, and she told me she wants to do it next yr so she is getting in next yr. Good luck with it hun!
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  #8  
September 9th, 2006, 11:20 PM
~* LiSa *~
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Quote:
Hello just popping in here. I have a 5 yr old as well, she bowls(I know silly) but she loves it. She started last year and this year she decided she didnt want to do it. And its one of those things that you cant just get her in at after its started. I told her she has to stay out the whole time if she wishes to not do it again. She said nope she didnt want to. I told her it was fine and that was that. I think you should let it go if she doesnt want to do it, but maybe take her to go watch her sisters and her friend so maybe she will want to do it next year. My sisters kids bowl as well so we go watch them, and she told me she wants to do it next yr so she is getting in next yr. Good luck with it hun![/b]

That's a great suggestion! My kids bowled on a summer league and I like to alternate between bowling and soccer so I'm not too overwhelmed. But yes, my kids absolutely love bowling, even my 4 year old!
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  #9  
September 9th, 2006, 11:43 PM
Nicolee
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hi Im nicole i saw your post and thought i would put my two cents in. I used to be a dancer and also a teacher at a dance studio in Lancaster CA. ive seen alot of kids who just dont want to dance anymore. its usually a faze or they just want to try something new or be different then those around them. also it could be the class she is in. maybe she isnt clicking with her teacher very well. alot of kids have anxieties about their first day but just because this year she doesnt want to dance doesnt mean that she cant be a dancer later. Is there something else that she wants to do? or is it just that she doesnt want to dance. i would definatly ask her why she feels the way she does and try and see if there is an underlying problem hope that this helps!!!
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  #10  
September 11th, 2006, 06:26 PM
Miles
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Quote:
Quote:
Hello just popping in here. I have a 5 yr old as well, she bowls(I know silly) but she loves it. She started last year and this year she decided she didnt want to do it. And its one of those things that you cant just get her in at after its started. I told her she has to stay out the whole time if she wishes to not do it again. She said nope she didnt want to. I told her it was fine and that was that. I think you should let it go if she doesnt want to do it, but maybe take her to go watch her sisters and her friend so maybe she will want to do it next year. My sisters kids bowl as well so we go watch them, and she told me she wants to do it next yr so she is getting in next yr. Good luck with it hun![/b]

That's a great suggestion! My kids bowled on a summer league and I like to alternate between bowling and soccer so I'm not too overwhelmed. But yes, my kids absolutely love bowling, even my 4 year old!
[/b]

Awww my DD loves it! She is mad that she cant do it this year, but she knew she couldnt do it if she said no. Glad your kids like it as well!
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