[Effervescence]

I don't know if I've mentioned it to you ladies or not, forgive me if I'm repeating it. MIL has before offered to let me borrow her....erm... conception tools. She's offered her fertility monitor and thermometer. I think that's a little creepy and unsanitary. She kept pushing to know when a second grandchild would be in the works. Well, she didn't know it at the time but DH and I had already been trying for months.

Then she took Jonah for the weekend. We live in the apartment on the lower level of their house, so she stayed down there with Jonah to make him feel more comfortable with our being gone. I guess she used the bathroom and saw all the OPK's and negative pregnancy tests in the trash. When we got back she said "When the men leave, I have something to talk about with you. It concerns 'womens issues'" Um, WTH? So 'the men left.' LOL and she started to talk to me about FAM etc. I was a little annoyed because she talks to me all the time like I'm ignorant when in fact I've already been using the very methods she is trying to get me on board with. I'm also a little annoyed, because this is a personal journey, and while I agree that wisdom of older women is helpful in this department, I never invited her on this journey.

Nonetheless, she actually bought me Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Which was nice since I was going to buy it this week, but a little annoying because of her assumptions. Maybe I'm just being territorial and closed minded, I dunno. I felt awkward.

So I've never actually charted before. I've stayed aware of things like my cervical fluid and position, but I've never written it down or tracked it like this. It was just an awareness of my body and my cycle. I've never been this active in TTC either. My first pregnancy, which I lost, happened in the very early stages of TTC, and Jonah happened when I wasn't trying to prevent or concieve. I do believe that I've had other miscarriages and mistaken them for late AFs. This is the reason that I decided to start charting and taking my BBT.

So anyway, since the copy of Taking Charge of your Fertility had a trial version of Ovusoft in it, I decided that it was time to stop reading and planning etc and time to actually chart. Took my first BBT this morning. Ovusoft is kind of neat. It tells me that if my cycle is 30 days this month and we concieve, my EDD will most likely be my birthday. I don't know if it's worth the $40 to continue past the trial, but that is what the trial is for, right? The only super negative that I could find about the software (which is the same for most software) is that it won't run on a linux based operating system. I use primarily Ubuntu, and I have dual boot so that I can run Windows. It's just an annoyance really

[AmandaHugNKiss]

Hey, welcome

So... I think your MIL's actions are kinda sweet. Yes, she is overstepping personal boundaries slightly but she seems well meaning with it. But I also understand completely that it would make you feel awkward. Do you find it difficult to express yourself with her?

I use fertility friend to chart (Ovulation Calendar and Ovulation Chart - Fertility Charting) and tried ovusoft but didn't like it as much so can't really offer any advice on that software.

[dapgal]

I am sorry your MIL is being a bit intrusive but it was sweet of her to buy you that book. I bought it when I was TTC Collin and found it very helpful. We were TTC for 2 months on our own before getting that book and then we conceived the first month that I charted. I use the software and I love it. I think that the advanced version of FF does do a lot of the same things though and may be a little cheaper. I have both charts up on my siggie if you want to take a look at the difference. This month they predicted O day on different days but most of the time they agree. I hope that this helps some.

[Effervescence]

Thanks for the input on the software. I am using the free version of FF as well to compare. I like the entry of the data on ovusoft a bit better, and the way that it is laid out, but I can use FF without having to restart my computer in Windows, and it does the same basic thing just with a different layout. I'm also thinking that just a plain old pen and paper would be just as good. The extras that the software adds are fun, but not necessary, and I'm grappling with the fact that it costs $40 to have them!

It was sweet of MIL, I agree. But also strange, and a bit condescending in the tone that she puts it in. She acts as though she is the wealth of knowledge on any topic, as if she's the only person who can use Google or read a book. If she had sat down and said "I noticed that you and D are trying to have another baby when I was watching Jonah. Here, I found these things useful." Then I wouldn't think anything of it but a sweet gesture. But here's how the context of it was "I noticed that you and D are trying to have another baby. You obviously don't know what you're doing since there were several negative pregnancy tests in the trash, and you couldn't possibly know anything that happens to your body during your cycle. But *I'm* an expert because I read this book several years ago when I was reaching menopause but still wanted one last baby. Here's the book but you'll have questions about it- oh and I have some things that I peed on too since you probably don't know how to go to the pharmacy and pick one of your own up."

I know it sounds harsh, but that's honestly how she treats EVERYthing. Like I'm stupid and uneducated on the subject, and she is the expert because she googled it. I know that she's excited to share her "wealth of information" with another woman, since she raised a family of boys, and yes it was nice of her to think of the things that I could possibly need, but I guess it is just the tone she took with this, added to the way she treats any other decision that I had to make. KWIM? It was just kind of classic MIL antics

[dapgal]

That does make it sound a little less sweet, lol. Sorry she makes you feel that way.

[kruff79]

Ivillage.com has a free version based off Ovusoft. I used that one and like it much better than FF. As for your MIL, I agree she's trying to be sweet. Maybe you could sit down and let her know that this is very personal to you and that her involvement, although appreciated, makes you uncomfortable?

[Coley]

Yeah... I hear ya. I do think the fact that you mentioned a family of boys might have something to do with it. It's possible that because she doesn't have a daughter to do this with, she's latching on to you.

Now, that's not to say that she needs to act like the Queen of Knowledge sailing along in her Ship of Right while everyone else paddles around in the Sea of Wrong. LOL! Perhaps the best way to shut her up is to hit her with some facts the next time she brings it up... show her just how much you do know. If she sees that you've got your facts straight, maybe she'll realize that you don't need as much help as she thought.

As for the used peed on stuff... Um... Ew, Ew, Ew and Oh No!!

[Admin-pattyandthemoos]

Originally Posted by Effervescence

Thanks for the input on the software. I am using the free version of FF as well to compare. I like the entry of the data on ovusoft a bit better, and the way that it is laid out, but I can use FF without having to restart my computer in Windows, and it does the same basic thing just with a different layout. I'm also thinking that just a plain old pen and paper would be just as good. The extras that the software adds are fun, but not necessary, and I'm grappling with the fact that it costs $40 to have them!

It was sweet of MIL, I agree. But also strange, and a bit condescending in the tone that she puts it in. She acts as though she is the wealth of knowledge on any topic, as if she's the only person who can use Google or read a book. If she had sat down and said "I noticed that you and D are trying to have another baby when I was watching Jonah. Here, I found these things useful." Then I wouldn't think anything of it but a sweet gesture. But here's how the context of it was "I noticed that you and D are trying to have another baby. You obviously don't know what you're doing since there were several negative pregnancy tests in the trash, and you couldn't possibly know anything that happens to your body during your cycle. But *I'm* an expert because I read this book several years ago when I was reaching menopause but still wanted one last baby. Here's the book but you'll have questions about it- oh and I have some things that I peed on too since you probably don't know how to go to the pharmacy and pick one of your own up."

I know it sounds harsh, but that's honestly how she treats EVERYthing. Like I'm stupid and uneducated on the subject, and she is the expert because she googled it. I know that she's excited to share her "wealth of information" with another woman, since she raised a family of boys, and yes it was nice of her to think of the things that I could possibly need, but I guess it is just the tone she took with this, added to the way she treats any other decision that I had to make. KWIM? It was just kind of classic MIL antics

Eh I think this is just typical MIL/DIL issues. I think maybe you are just taking things the wrong way. I don't know her but I think sometimes people just get excited to share their knowledge. It doesn't mean she thinks you are dumb. Try to take things in a positive way. I wish my MIL was supportive of us ttc.

I don't think it is creepy for her to give you fertility stuff. My sis gave me her breast pump when she was done with it. I would have taken a used therm and monitor too if she had it.

My MIL can be the same way but I just think that is how MILs are. Don't sweat it.

[Effervescence]

I'm not really mad or upset with my MIL, just noting that it's a little weird LOL

She tries to give me items that she used with/for her kids all the time. Her youngest is now 21. She has tried to give me a crib, a carseat, diaper ointment... all were used for her youngest LOL I think the fertility monitor is probably the strangest thing she's offered LOL Oh well, in the end you all are right; she's trying to help, even if she does seem condescending at times

[Admin-pattyandthemoos]

Originally Posted by Effervescence

I'm not really mad or upset with my MIL, just noting that it's a little weird LOL

She tries to give me items that she used with/for her kids all the time. Her youngest is now 21. She has tried to give me a crib, a carseat, diaper ointment... all were used for her youngest LOL I think the fertility monitor is probably the strangest thing she's offered LOL Oh well, in the end you all are right; she's trying to help, even if she does seem condescending at times

If you ever met my mother (NOT DH's) you would stop thinking this. HA HA HA. My mom is the weirdest person on the planet.

She probably is condescending but MIL ten to be that way. Maybe she is just trying to relive her baby making days through you.