I have to be honest... from everything you just listed, I think stepping away from TTC is probably the best idea in the world right now.
I mean, if you're going through a divorce, I wouldn't think that's conducive to TTC. I can't quite understand how that works, but the stress of not knowing whether you're going to stay together has got to be problematic.
It really sounds like you could use some time for things in your life to stabilize... because that list of stuff, deaths, health problems, having to
hide your kid from CPS and then only being able to see him for a little while per week... WOW. I would think you would want to bring a new child into a happy and peaceful environment and it sounds like you don't really have that right now.
I
really hope that you can resolve the resolvable issues and move forward in a more positive and healthy direction. I wish you the best of luck in the coming days, weeks and months.