[tchelle]

I just can't get BF to BD.

I had my first +OPK yesterday and a VERY +OPK today. I've been Oing on CD17 which is tomorrow, but knowing my luck I'll see that post-O temp rise in the morning. And even if it doesn't, I have to go out of town tomorrow night and won't be back until fairly late (and he'll likely be asleep).

Yesterday he was really tired and today he's chafed "down there". He knows I wan't to DTD, but he's just not in the mood.

I'm sure BF is under the old high-school-sex-ed-class line of thought that sex at any time has the potential to lead to pregnancy. I seriously doubt he knows anything about ovulation & female reproductive cycles and he definitely doesn't know anything about charting or that I'm doing it.

I really want him to know about all this stuff so he'll be more on board and we'll increase our chances a little, but I really don't know how to bring it up and I'm not sure I'm up to a full detailed explanation of female reproduction, charting, checking cervixes, mucus, OPK's, etc.

I'm so bummed out right now. I feel like this month is going to be a complete waste.

[pluvsuro]

Sorry tchelle, I know how you feel. My BF was on a schedule at work our first few months of TTC, that he always working the week I O'd and if he did manage to make it home he was to tired to DTD. Just hang in there I'm sure it will get better. My O cycle managed to change the month of June and now I O the week he is off, FINALLY!!!

[jensma]

hmmm, i am trying to remember how i explained it to my DH, who just doesn't even ask questions. But i use it a lot to back stuff up when I'm trying to explain things to him. Most of them do not want to know all of that info but it helps for some men to see there is a real science behind it.

Good luck Girl!!

[crazybabybrain]

Tell him about it! If he understands everything, he will be much more cooperative. My DH did not know anything about fertility either, but once I told him, he completely got it and was excited to BD at all the right times. Also, you will feel like he is more involved, and so will he.

[tchelle]

I just don't know how to bring it up w/o seeming like it's coming out of the blue.

Anyway, my temp actually dropped a tad today which means I may have one more chance if I can get him when he gets home from work. And he found out yesterday that there's a good chance I could be getting my old job back (he still works at the place I got laid off from). He should find out more today so maybe we can have celebratory sex.

[Admin-pattyandthemoos]

Yeh, celebration sex sounds like a good game plan! Dh knows all about timing and charting and doing it when I say we need to. LOL. I tell him everything whether he wants to hear about it or not. I would just start telling him in bits, not all at once. I would explain how long the egg lives and how long sperm lives and that it doesn't do you any good to bd after the egg dies.

If you can just get him to understand how important timing is you can worry about the rest later.

[tchelle]

I'm so frustrated right now that if I had to have a discussion with him about it, I'd probably blow up and I don't want that (I'm really mad at him right now, but I also know it's not really his fault).

His excuse today was he was covered in lead dust (he works in a factory that makes lead batteries) and then he had a shower and was already nice & clean.

At least I won't be needing to waste any HPT's this cycle. . .

[tchelle]

We talked a little last night. He basically said that as much as he wants a baby, right now isn't really the best time because I'm currently laid off and he's not sure we can afford it (although I should have one job offer coming here soon and although I haven't gotten the official call yet, my old place is hiring back another 18 people and I'm at the top of the list and would be starting Oct 5). But he said that once I start working we can go at it like rabbits and maybe try to see a fertility doctor once I get my insurance back.

So I guess his official stance is NTNP for now but also with the thought that one of us has fertility problems (although I'm still sure he'd be absolutely thrilled if I did get pregnant at any time - a little scared, but thrilled)

Having said that, though, he woke me up at midnight for some BDing. I still think it was too late, though but we'll see.

Maybe there's stats that prove me wrong, but I really don't think BDing on O day has as much chance of success as the day or two before O. Simply because once you O, the egg starts breaking down in about 12 hours and it can take the sperm 10 hours or so to reach it. So unless you happen to BD before or about the same time as the egg is released, I would think the egg would already be breaking down and no good by the time the sperm gets there.

[KaiyaRae'sMomma]

Hey sorry to hear about your troubles. I'm glad you talked to DH and worked things out. I'm in the same boat with the "out before I'm in" issue. DH and I did not BD near O because he has/had Poison Ivy all over his body! As much as we both want a baby, we decided one month off was worth not spready the rash to me!

[tchelle]

I figure that if I don't get pregnant this cycle, I'm still going to chart for the next two simply because I already paid for 90 days worth of FF and have about 2 months worth of OPK's left so I might as well get some more charts (if anything, when we finally go to see a doctor, I'll have lots of charts/info to give him).

[Coley]

tchelle...

Fast swimming sperm can actually reach an egg in 15-20 minutes! So all is NOT lost!

I'm sorry that you're going through the financial rough patch. I can understand where BF is coming from, as I'm sure can you... but it doesn't make it suck any less.

Hopefully you'll get your old job back! Then you can get your BFP and be all set!!

[CandaceDianne]

Glad you talked about it! Sounds like he is genuinely concerned, in this time of the economy, its scary to think about bringing a child into the pic when there is currently only one income. Having said that, I hope you get that job so you two can go at it like rabbits....but you know, I am hoping you get that BFP this cycle. I think you timed it well!!!

[tchelle]

I am currently on unemployment (and made enough at my old job where it's a decent amount) and I've been helping my mom with her house remodeling for and extra $100/week. We're not seriously struggling (I make sure bills are getting paid), we just haven't been able to put any in savings, but we also still splurge and go to the movies about once a week ($5 matinees) and he's bought a few video games & such too. So right now we're not that bad off. My biggest concern right now is I currently don't have health insurance, but in early pregnancy, you don't go to the doctor all that often anyway and worse case scenario, we could go ahead and get married so I could be on his insurance (we already know we're getting married eventually, but just don't have an official engagement yet - his mom & sis-in-laws have really been bugging him, though. ).

But I'm sure between the two jobs I'll be employed at least by the middle of October. And even if I do get pregnant this cycle (still don't think it's too likely) I can wait a while to tell them (I worked with a girl that was 6 months when she got hired but hid it until she was 8 months )

[KaiyaRae'sMomma]

Wow, I can't imagine hiding a pregnancy until 8 months!

[tchelle]

She was a big girl anyway (not HUGE, but maybe 30 lbs overweight) and wore lots of baggy shirts.

[Blue Eyes 409]

Wow I am so sorry I know how you feel my DH and I are TTC but he is still worried about money because I am a SAHM and money gets tight. We are out of the running this month because DH was too tired to BD and then he got sick so I know how you feel. I hope things work out.