[jewelsgurl23]

over $10 he gave me.

i gave it back to him. i was going to use it to buy a FRER tomorrow but nope.

he even agreed to go and take me to get them but then said hes never giving me money ever again for things like this ( HPT )'s

i have only bought 4 of them in the whole 22 cycles of TTC.

its not like im a POAS aholic because as you can tell im not.

i decided to wait anyways.

don't know what else to do but wait.

i wasn't on planning on using the other dollar general test in a week from today anyways.

he made a big deal even yesterday since i wanted to buy some thing to pee on. ( HPT's dollar general tests)

anything else i can do?

thanks ladies

[Mom2EthanAndJett]

hmmm...im trying to be supportive, but you earn money too dont you? I dont really understand why you cant go spend a little money on something so important. Why do you have to ask for money to begin with? I guess I am just in a marriage where we share the money and whats mine is his, so if I want to go by something I can. Like you said, you arent a POAS addict...I could maybe see how he would be mad if you were and he might have a reason to be mad if you were peeing on sticks a lot (which I seem to do )...but you dont do that, so why is he getting so mad over a couple dollars. Just wait til the baby comes and he will be forking out a TON of money...

Anyway I hope you guys get things figured out and the best of luck!

[jewelsgurl23]

hi

thanks

im still waiting on the results of the job i applied for over a month ago.

its been almost a month since i took the back ground and drug test.

he is on unemployment has been since july 31st. he is the only one thats bringing in the little money we have.

he has just been a jerk lately. it was what his is mine but now its a big deal for me to spend a few dollars. i have been craving pizza the last 3 days and he won't even let me go buy a pizza he tells me next time but he decides he wants chicken and we go get chicken to eat.

he gave me the money so i wouldn't be broke. i used the last $2 i had yesterday to buy 2 dollar general HPT's.

i can't wait to get this job he says since i have a huge credit card debt that my check is going to that to pay it off.

i don't think this am's test was even positive at all. thinking an evap but have never had one on dollar general test before. have always been snow white even days after still no line. had a line this morning but think its evap. do those have evaps anyways.

well thats for the support

[Mom2EthanAndJett]

Im sorry, I guess i didnt realize about your job situtation. So i guess the money would be tight. That does suck about you wanting pizza and he gets his chicken!! I love pizza by the way!

Are you a day late or so? I cant remember. I would take your last test in a couple days. I couldnt wait until another week! If you are pregnant, are you guys going to be ok financially? I have thought about this myself, we are paying off our little debt and putting all of my checks into savings. I only work PRN(as needed) because hospitals just arent hiring right now, but i still make great money.

Next time he wants chicken, you tell him "Im getting my pizza!"

and I hope he stops being a jerk soon!

KUP!!!

[Bayamount]

hmm rough times... well maybe you guys need to sit calmly and have a talk? do you fight a lot or is it rare? like... just to point out whats important to you, and he can try to calmly point out his felings too? is he open to talks?

[Loving6]

I would wait and test Wednesday if no AF.I hope you get that job and start saving a little as you go.Let it be your stash only!!

[HopefulMommy81]

Sorry y'all had a fight.....money I have decided is usually the reason for most fights for married couples.....and we've been married only 3 months LOL but that's the only thing we ever argue about (though it is rare). Good luck on the job- can you call and check up on it? I would wait a few days, see if maybe AF is just late or if she stays away (like I hope she does) then use use $ test and if it's questionable again, get a FRER. Tell him you need to get prenatal care if you're actually PG.

[DeepSouthMommy]

I hate to be Debbie Downer here, but have you considered waiting to TTC until at least one of you has a job? Honestly, if you have a large amount of debt and money is that tight for you guys, it's going to be near impossible to recover from that debt if you have a baby to provide for. I know that 9 months of pregnancy seems like a long time, but honestly it's not. You have to have almost everything before the baby is even born so that cuts back even further on those 9 months. I'd hate to see you guys struggling for years to pay of debt...debt that will only get worse with a baby added in.

And in truth, money being tight is most likely why your DH is being a pain about letting you buy tests. It's likely bothering him when you test and it's negative (because he feels it's a waste of money) and the idea of trying to support a child right now is likely scaring the mess out of him. Try to be patient, I think that once things look up for you guys financially that he'll become happier about TTC and testing. Big to you. Hang in there, things will get better! Good luck to you when you test again!

[Admin-pattyandthemoos]

Originally Posted by DeepSouthGirl

I hate to be Debbie Downer here, but have you considered waiting to TTC until at least one of you has a job? Honestly, if you have a large amount of debt and money is that tight for you guys, it's going to be near impossible to recover from that debt if you have a baby to provide for. I know that 9 months of pregnancy seems like a long time, but honestly it's not. You have to have almost everything before the baby is even born so that cuts back even further on those 9 months. I'd hate to see you guys struggling for years to pay of debt...debt that will only get worse with a baby added in.

And in truth, money being tight is most likely why your DH is being a pain about letting you buy tests. It's likely bothering him when you test and it's negative (because he feels it's a waste of money) and the idea of trying to support a child right now is likely scaring the mess out of him. Try to be patient, I think that once things look up for you guys financially that he'll become happier about TTC and testing. Big to you. Hang in there, things will get better! Good luck to you when you test again!

I just tried to type this out myself and was trying to find the best way to word this. I agree. I really think your dh is acting like this because he is stressed out. Plus, I think that your pregnancy will be so much less stressful if you guys are not struggling. You are always welcome to chart with us while you wait it out.


(((HUGS)))

[DeepSouthMommy]

I hope my post didn't sound harsh or mean in any way. I KNOW how important having a baby is, I just want you to be able to enjoy your pregnancy and new baby and not be stressed all of the time because of financial pressures.

[jensma]

michelle, that was perfectly put!

[Bayamount]

agrees *hugs* though i totally get "the call" i've had it for over a year now, its almost painful how much i need this pregnancy, and i feel like dh doesnt tkae it seriously, often jokes about it. i totally get where you come from

[Meaghan Stone]

I'm sorry things aren't going well for you right now!

I hate to add to anything negative since we all need super positive vibes... but...

I worked for many years as an assistant "family planning" counselor at the local community center. What we did there was analyze a couple's situation and either ease their minds about TTC or to make them look at the real world facts as we called them. Please take this from a "professional" viewpoint and not one meant to be hurtful.

Neither of you are employed right now. Honestly, at the center, we would NEVER support a couple's decision to TTC in this situation. I am sorry. Being unemployed is stressful enough without TTC. What happens if neither of you gets a job in the coming months? What about all that debt? There are too many what if's in the situation right now.

Do you think that AT LEAST NTNP might be a better solution for you right now? I hate to say this, I truly do, but with all the financial worries you are facing as a couple right now, it is irresponsible to try to have a baby with no means to support them.

Make out a list of pro's and con's to having a baby right now. This is where you need to be logical and not emotional about the situation. Also, I don't know how you feel about God, but I believe he has a reason for everything he does. His reasons don't always align with our own desires.

Please just think about what the ladies here have been saying and take it to heart-- we all mean well, and I hate to say something but felt it had to be said.

[HopefulMommy81]

Michelle and Meaghan- Very well put imo. I sometimes even have a hard time imagining supporting a baby right now, especially in this economy, and both DH and I work and I make good money (I'm a nurse). We have talked about it a lot, however, and we're thinking maybe DH will stay home with the baby, and I only have to work 3 shifts a week, so that we don't have to pay for childcare. Or have him work poart-time or something.
Jewelsgurl23- whatever y'all decide, we're here for you! Have you called to check up on the job you're waiting to hear about? Good luck whatever you decide!

[Meaghan Stone]

DH and I worry about it, too. But with my past employment in counseling couples, I can remove emotion from it and be 100% financially and emotionally objective about it. When we first married, it would not have been good for us to try so I stayed on BCP. Did I like it? No. But we had debt and commitments we needed to tend to. Now, a couple years later, we're in a place where I can stay home with the baby full time once we succeed.

Patience, hope, faith and love are REALLY needed when TTC.

[Mod-LilSunshine]

I absolutely agree with Meaghan and Michelle.