Would you have an issue

GinaOfAllTrades · #1 October 5th, 2009, 08:21 AM

if someone close to you were PG at the same time as you?

I ask because a couple of weeks ago my niece found out she is pregnant.

She is about 5-6 weeks. When I found out she was pregnant I was worried that if I get a BFP also it would bring her down (for a lack of a better term). It is their 1st baby and will be my 3rd (4th counting my DSS). Surprising though she actually is hoping I do get a BFP soon.

Tammyms · #2 October 5th, 2009, 08:27 AM

This is an odd answer for me... it would probably depend somewhat on who because some people just seem to always steal your thunder on purpose... you know the kind who always have a bigger and better story to tell?

But for the most part, no it wouldn't bother me. I'd probably like to go through it with someone to have someone to talk to about everything. And, if it's family, it would be great because then my lil one would have someone the same age to play with at all the family functions

I find the hardest BFP's for me to accept are the ones where people aren't really ttc, aren't ready, don't really want it, etc. and it only takes them a month or 2 for it to happen. I know my cousin said they were going to start ttc this year, and I was thrilled at the thought of us being pg together

Admin-pattyandthemoos · #3 October 5th, 2009, 08:28 AM

I feel the same as your niece. My twin sis just got her bfp and I SOOOO want to be pregnant at the same time as her. I think it would be so cool. Of course she won't be able to watch my kids while I am in the delivery room this time but that would be okay.

AngelM82 · #4 October 5th, 2009, 08:30 AM

When I was pregnant last year (ended in MC), both my sister in law's were PG also. So it was actually kind of neat. It's a hard one, I can see it being fun to have someone close to you going through it at the same time. Hey, you can paint each other's toenails when your all huge!

But on the other hand, it's a very special time and I can see wanting to have that moment all to yourself and not share the spotlight..
Is that selfish to say? I guess I have started to feel that way because I was so happy to be PG with my in laws last time and then I lost mine but they both carried theirs full term plus DH's cousin got PG toward the end of their pregancies so it was this big thing that everyone was PG (well except for me). So now DH and I are the very last one to not have any children yet and I have been so sad but DH kind of pep talked me and said, now it will be just our time just for us... So that kind of brought me back up, ya know.

Admin-pattyandthemoos · #5 October 5th, 2009, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AngelM82

When I was pregnant last year (ended in MC), both my sister in law's were PG also. So it was actually kind of neat. It's a hard one, I can see it being fun to have someone close to you going through it at the same time. Hey, you can paint each other's toenails when your all huge!

But on the other hand, it's a very special time and I can see wanting to have that moment all to yourself and not share the spotlight..
Is that selfish to say? I guess I have started to feel that way because I was so happy to be PG with my in laws last time and then I lost mine but they both carried theirs full term plus DH's cousin got PG toward the end of their pregancies so it was this big thing that everyone was PG (well except for me). So now DH and I are the very last one to not have any children yet and I have been so sad but DH kind of pep talked me and said, now it will be just our time just for us... So that kind of brought me back up, ya know.

That happened with me and my sis too. She had three kids before I had my first and I got pregnant with them around the same time she was pregnant but she carried her's to term. I think it was hard on both of us because she felt so bad for me.

((((HUGS)))) to you. Your dh sounds like a real sweetie.

AngelM82 · #6 October 5th, 2009, 08:59 AM

Thanks Patty, he really is a catch!

And I bet it was hard on your sister, too. My sister in laws felt pretty bad also... Well one more than the other, lol, but thats another story. My one sis-in-law is such a sweety and was very sensitive to the whole thing and tried to keep me in the loop with hers, almost like she was sharing her pregnancy with me!

slpliz · #7 October 5th, 2009, 09:06 AM

I've been on all sides of this one. When I was going through my m/c's and struggling to TTC #1, lots of my friends were pregnant. It was hard but I certainly understood no one could put their life on hold so that I could not deal with other people's pregnancies. I've also been pregnant when a good friend found out she was pregnant. I knew at 9dpo and I was shocked (my daughter - lovely surprise). My friend had been struggling to TTC #1 then. She found out she was pregnant a week later and told me immediately. Because of my past m/c's DH and I don't tell anyone we are pregnant until 12 weeks. Well when I finally told her I was pregnant (we were due the same day), she was so mad at me for not telling her like she had told me. I didn't apologize for it. I just told her I wanted her to enjoy her pregnancy and that since I was on #2, I wanted the fuss to be about her, not me. I think that helped her calm down.

Coley · #8 October 5th, 2009, 09:33 AM

I don't think I would have an issue with someone I'm close to getting a BFP at the same time as me. I'm one that thinks it would be nice to have someone to go through all of it and talk about it with, ya know?

I'm probably gonna have to make due with my JM girls because I don't anticipate any babies for any of my friends.

jenine · #9 October 5th, 2009, 09:38 AM

I think I would enjoy it if someone else was pregnant at the same time as me, as someone to go through it with. But I also don't expect any of my friends will be having babies in the near future.

#10 October 5th, 2009, 10:19 AM

Im kind of on the fence about this one. I think it depends on the person and how they would be. I was pregnant with my good friend in '08 and we even had the same due dates. It was great, we lived across the street from each other and even had a joint baby shower! But our husbands are in the military and they moved when we were about 6 months along, and that was hard. It was nice having someone to share every little pregnancy thing with, and it was nice that we both didnt over power each others experiences. We had no family close by so we were each others "sisters" throughout it.
Having that said..... while I was pregnant pretty much everyone in my family back at home was pregnant as well. Im talking 8 babies all within 3 weeks of each other. And those family members were the ones who always competed to be better.... how much weight gain, how big the baby is, ect. And they still do it with our children now.... whos walking, talking... I HATED that, and still do!
It really depends on the person/people you are pregnant with....

Meaghan Stone · #11 October 5th, 2009, 01:31 PM

My BFF told me she was pregnant this time last year, and while I was super happy for her; we were both a little sad that I wasn't pregnant, too. We always did everything together and now this... we weren't. I mean, obviously you grow up and move on-- but we always thought we'd raise our kids together...

If I were pregnant at the same time as someone I didn't care for, I might be a little less happy about it and slightly competitive.

"Morning sickness? No, not at all... why honey, you look sick as a dog. I guess I'm lucky in that sense, no puking for me."

GinaOfAllTrades · #12 October 5th, 2009, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meaghan Stone

If I were pregnant at the same time as someone I didn't care for, I might be a little less happy about it and slightly competitive.

"Morning sickness? No, not at all... why honey, you look sick as a dog. I guess I'm lucky in that sense, no puking for me."

I felt this way when I was pregnant with my youngest. MY DH's ex-wife (my step sons mother) was pregnant at the same time with her youngest son (by a different father

) and it drove me nuts. Even though we never spoke to one another it still drove me nuts.

Mod-LilSunshine · #13 October 5th, 2009, 08:25 PM

I think it depends on who it is. When I was pregnant with my ds, I didn't know anyone who was pregnant (other than my JM friends!) and it would've been nice to have someone to talk too. Also, out of my friends I was one of the first to have a baby, so no one really knew anything about being pregnant. I think it would be fun to have someone to compare stories with. A good friend of mine is due in April and I was due in May (but had a m/c) and we were super excited at the time to be pregnant together.

DeepSouthMommy · #14 October 5th, 2009, 09:25 PM

I too think it would depend on who the person was. Unfortunately I have people in my family (and even a friend or two) who would do whatever the could to sabotage any celebration, happiness or attention I might have. However, if it were someone that would be genuinely happy for me then I'd LOVE to have someone IRL to share pregnancy with. It's not likely to happen though as most people I know are either done with having kids or will never have kids.