[JessP]

So I am not very positive about this cycle. Looks like it is starting out the same as last month and well we know how that ended . I am bummed right now and frustrated. I don't understand what is going on. So I was thinking maybe I should start charting. I just have to figure out how to talk to DH about it but I will cross that bridge later. So I have an account on FF but totally lost using it to be honest. I was reading through the charting school and I had a few questions on how to get started.

When are you supposed to start temping?
Only after AF?
Do you only temp in the morning or does it matter what time as long as its the same time everyday?

Thanks for any information and help.

[Admin-pattyandthemoos]

Hi. I think charting is a great idea.

You can start temping whenever you are ready. Ideally you should start before you ovulate so you can see when your thermal shift takes place. You don't have to temp while AF is around if you don't want to but you should start temping as soon as she leaves.

You need to temp first thing in the morning because your temp needs to be taken while your body is at rest. You shouldn't get out of bed or do anything before you temp so the best thing to do is keep a thermometer by your bed. I normally just set my alarm and sometimes I will just go back to sleep after I temp.

If you take it after you have been awake your chart will not be accurate. You should also try to take it at the same time every day because your temp can go up or down if you sleep in or take your temperature earlier.

[AngelM82]

Hey there, everything Patty said is everything I know and I charted successfully last cycle for my first time. It's pretty easy and fun to watch your temps and understanding your body. It's just important to remember to do it first thing before moving around a bunch and taking the temp at the same time each morning. Also, I temp vaginally but some ladies take it orally. I have noticed complaints though from those that do this because they say it gives them inacurrate temps if you breath with your mouth open and things like that. So I would personally suggest temping vaginally. I thought it would be wierd and that DH would be wierded out but he didnt seem to mind either way about it. I just put those thermometer cover things on them the night before and keep it next to the bed on the night stand so I do it before I get up for the day.

Good luck!!

[JessP]

I would never have thought that you did any except oral . DH is kind of against this I think so I don't know how he will be. Hmmmm thanks for the information though that is great to know.

[AngelM82]

I'm just curious, what is your DH against so much and why? My DH just sort of thought I was slightly nuts at first but got over it fast, so no biggie there. But there is nothing saying you can't temp orally I just have heard that vaginally is alot more accurate. You should do whatever your most comfortable with though. I seriously was unsure about it at first too, but its super quick and really just feels like second nature now. Put it in a little ways (not way far or anything) and mine takes the temp pretty quickly so then I just look at it and then pull the cover off. Super easy..

Good luck with whichever you choose, though!

[Admin-pattyandthemoos]

Originally Posted by JessP

I would never have thought that you did any except oral . DH is kind of against this I think so I don't know how he will be. Hmmmm thanks for the information though that is great to know.

I think you should just talk to him. It might be easier to start if you just talked about it. Then you don't have to have any weird feelings.

I do know of at least one gal that didn't tell her dh she was charting because he was put off by it. She just took her temp in the bathroom each day. I don't really think that is the most ideal way to temp but if you consistently did it at the same time it would probably still give you a good idea.

I have never taken my temps vaginally and I still have an easy to read chart.

[JessP]

DH says if I start using opks or charting then it becomes more like work and not fun and he thinks it should be fun and happen when it is meant to . So he doesn't want me doing any of that. I am going to try to talk to him about it though and my doctor next week.

[Admin-pattyandthemoos]

Originally Posted by JessP

DH says if I start using opks or charting then it becomes more like work and not fun and he thinks it should be fun and happen when it is meant to . So he doesn't want me doing any of that. I am going to try to talk to him about it though and my doctor next week.

Well I would say that it might be more like work and not like fun to you but I would have more fun charting. I actually enjoy charting. You don't have to tell him when you are ovulating and stuff. You can keep that a surprise and just tell him that it is very exciting watching charts in the two week wait because you can sometimes tell if you are pregnant just by looking at your chart. I know that dh and I have these issues over finding out baby's gender. I don't like to know because I think it is more fun being surprised but he thinks it is more fun finding out. See, you both are right but you just see things from different points of view.

But, really this is something the two of you need to work out. I hope you guys can talk this through.

[Coley]

I agree with Patty.

I've never had that issue myself. Danny lets me do what I think is best for me. He's actually gotten quite into it and he looks forward to hearing what my temp is each morning!

To tell you the truth... it's actually made us closer while TTC because he now knows so much more about my body than he did before. He knows what it's supposed to do, what my temps should be at different times of my cycle and everything.

It has made him feel so much more involved and not like he's just there to donate sperm at the appropriate time, ya know?

Obviously, you guys should do what's best for you... I just wanted to share the positives that it has brought to our TTC experience. I wish you all the best and look forward to getting to know you better over the coming weeks.

Baby to you!!

[jenine]

I think most of our spouses probably thought we were a little out of our minds when we started charting. But I would definitely agree with what the other ladies have said, and advise you just to talk to him about it.

My husband took it in stride because he knows I'm a scientist minded person and if there is data out there to analyze, I cannot resist having it! That being said, I was worried it would stress him out and make it like work as well, or that it would take all the enjoyment out of it. So I just didn't tell him about it day-to-day. I mean, of course he knew I was temping, but I didn't say "today is O day" or whatever. Over the months, though, he has starting asking me about it and seems to want to know more now, so that is kind of fun.

[Admin-pattyandthemoos]

Originally Posted by jenine

I think most of our spouses probably thought we were a little out of our minds when we started charting. But I would definitely agree with what the other ladies have said, and advise you just to talk to him about it.

My husband took it in stride because he knows I'm a scientist minded person and if there is data out there to analyze, I cannot resist having it! That being said, I was worried it would stress him out and make it like work as well, or that it would take all the enjoyment out of it. So I just didn't tell him about it day-to-day. I mean, of course he knew I was temping, but I didn't say "today is O day" or whatever. Over the months, though, he has starting asking me about it and seems to want to know more now, so that is kind of fun.

I was the same way at first. When we were ttc Jeremy dh had performance issues because I would say okay it's o day lets go. I remember waking him up at 5 in the morning to bd. I would stress him out and he couldn't work under those situations. So this time when I started charting I didn't always tell him my o dates and tried to just bd a lot throughout the month.

But, now that we have been at this so long dh no longer has these issues. He will come find me and squeeze me in for a quickie on my o dates if he isn't up for a full fledged baby making session.

[ShawnaCAN]

Originally Posted by JessP

DH says if I start using opks or charting then it becomes more like work and not fun and he thinks it should be fun and happen when it is meant to .

Don't disregard this. TTC can and does put a LOT of pressure on guys and can be very difficult for them when they feel like they have to perform. Knowing you're fertile and anxious about getting PG can make them anxious about letting you down if it doesn't happen. They can feel really used, like all they are to you is a sperm bank. He's very wise to be able to see this in advance.

However, having information about your fertility is also helpful too. My personal recommendation??? Go ahead with the charting, but don't tell him when you're fertile. Be sure to make love when you're not fertile too so it doesn't just become about making a baby, so it's about your love for each other.

You can track your fertility without all the temping too, just by CM. Then DH doesn't have to know anything about it. Here is some information about how to do that:
http://www.woomb.org/learningBOM/B20...nstruction.pdf

[AngelM82]

My DH definately was in the mind set that we should let it happen when it happens but when I finally got him to understand that I didnt think I had been ovulating and my periods were sooo far apart then he started getting worried and thinking I should go to the doctor and I said I wanted to try the temping as a way to at least see if I was O'ing first than I would go in. That was kind of my excuse to do all these different things and it got him used to it. And it really has helped up feel closer too because now he's getting to know my body sort of with me. But he definately felt like it was work before or that it felt like we had to and we had to get past that... We definately have to make an effort to make it feel like it's not just because we have to and because we enjoy each other. It's definately a fine line you ride during this time. We do what Shawna said, and we have sex during the fertile time and also when we're not.. So its not always just for 'that' reason. But it truly is different for every couple and what feels confortable for them and only you will know what is right for you. Hope you get it worked out and can comfortably decide either way but it really is pretty fun once you get into it, so enjoy whatever you decide!

[JessP]

So I talked to DH at lunch. We went without the kids. He was like whatever you want to do hun. I don't think he is over joyed about it but he kind of understands that I think something is wrong and this is just another way to try to figure out what is going on. We went to Rite Aid and got a thermometer and I am going to start tomorrow morning just to get in the habit and learn how to track it. I have about 9 days until AF. Thanks for all the advice ladies. I am working on DTD more than just during that time, unfortunately the last two months we get to 4-5dpo and start spotting so we stop because DH isn't crazy about that either LOL. Neither am I for that matter.

[Mod-LilSunshine]

Originally Posted by ShawnaCAN

Don't disregard this. TTC can and does put a LOT of pressure on guys and can be very difficult for them when they feel like they have to perform. Knowing you're fertile and anxious about getting PG can make them anxious about letting you down if it doesn't happen. They can feel really used, like all they are to you is a sperm bank. He's very wise to be able to see this in advance.

However, having information about your fertility is also helpful too. My personal recommendation??? Go ahead with the charting, but don't tell him when you're fertile. Be sure to make love when you're not fertile too so it doesn't just become about making a baby, so it's about your love for each other.

You can track your fertility without all the temping too, just by CM. Then DH doesn't have to know anything about it. Here is some information about how to do that:
http://www.woomb.org/learningBOM/B20...nstruction.pdf

I think that's a great idea. When you're charting (or checking CM, etc.), you get SO much information about your body and you'll have more of an idea of when to bd. I love the idea of not telling dh too...that takes away a little of that pressure.

Good luck if you decide to chart! I really like doing it.

[Admin-pattyandthemoos]

Originally Posted by JessP

So I talked to DH at lunch. We went without the kids. He was like whatever you want to do hun. I don't think he is over joyed about it but he kind of understands that I think something is wrong and this is just another way to try to figure out what is going on. We went to Rite Aid and got a thermometer and I am going to start tomorrow morning just to get in the habit and learn how to track it. I have about 9 days until AF. Thanks for all the advice ladies. I am working on DTD more than just during that time, unfortunately the last two months we get to 4-5dpo and start spotting so we stop because DH isn't crazy about that either LOL. Neither am I for that matter.

I am so excited! I can't wait to start stalking your chart!!! I really think you will learn a lot about your body from charting. Keep us posted. Once you have a chart to stalk please add it to our chart stalking sticky.

[JessP]

I will do that. I am not sure how to add it but I am sure I can figure it out . I did not wake up to take my temp at 530 like I meant to since I was up at 4 and sooo tired.