[BabyBee13]

i know i'm new to the board but i'm really upset right now..normally i would not vent about my personal life on here but i am really frustrated..and it's ttc related so here i go..my dbf is working out of town right now..he and the pup are living a few hours outside of the city and i go visit on a regular basis..well he is there we decided it would be best if i live with my parents to save money..i use my little brother's laptop on a regular basis..and of course this site is one that i frequent often..well the other night i got a knock on the bedroom door at 4am!..it was my brother (he's 20)..anyway he said that he needed to talk to me about something and said that he knew i was trying to get pg (because he had gone through the history and saw what i was looking at)..he proceeded to lecture me about how he is not ready to be an uncle and that we are too young to be having kids..he said i should be focused on my career..this made me really mad because i am 25 years old in a serious relationship and i know i'm ready to be a mom..every since i had the m/c i have known and dbf would be over the moon about it..a lot of our friends have children who we see all the time..we are great with kids and feel ready to have one of our own..my brother also said he didn't agree with it since we aren't married yet..which made me angry too because we plan on getting married but he needs to get the ring first..i am in a stable career and would go back to it once i was off maternity leave..i know we are ready for this and know we will make great parents..however it made me really upset having my brother talk to me like that..it isn't up to him to decide when we start having kids..and then he lectured me again yesterday saying the same thing..i should not feel guilty about having a baby..i really needed to talk to you girls about this..because i have been so excited to start charting and trying to catch the eggie..then my little bro goes and does this..i am getting my own laptop asap cause as of right now i am too nervous to go on JM..even though i'm using private browsing he probably would try to find some way to look at it..thanks for listening how can i cope with him acting this way?..this is supposed to be an exciting moment for us..

[jesridge]

Just know that nobody can tell you that you're ready for a baby except for you. Your brother might just be concerned because of your current living situation with your bf-- being away from each other would be difficult with a pregnancy or after baby is born (I don't know how long you guys plan on living apart). As far as how to cope with his lectures... I would thank him for his concern, but politely tell him that you're an adult who is fully capable of making her own decisions. Hope it gets better for you!

[Coley]

I couldn't agree more.

It's awfully presumptuous of him to insert himself into such a personal and private decision. I don't blame you one bit for being upset, offended, irritated and now nervous.

I think getting your own computer is probably a really good idea if your brother is unable or unwilling to respect your privacy.

I know I wish I had started trying at your age... if I had, there's a chance I wouldn't be having to take fertility meds and all of that. For that reason alone, you shouldn't have to justify your choices to anyone... nor should you be forced to explain concerns about waning fertility in later years to your 20 year old brother.

I hope that things are able to smooth out for you and that you and DBF will have a place of your own very soon so that you can truly have some serious privacy.

[LifesGood]

People are always going to stick their noses in where it doesnt belong. its hard not to listen because they are family and most of the time there is some value in their opinion...

but I totally agree that no one but you and your dbf can say if you are ready. Try to think positive and TTC like you want and I hope that you get what you both want very soon

[missa3428]

Hey my little brother who is 15 thinks he knows best for me as well...he tries to say that I wont know what to do with a baby and that my husband will have to stop playing Video games and what not...but guess what you do what feels right...its not his life...and I have told my brother the same thing! They are trying to look out for us but if we were doing the same thing to them they would defend them self's (or at least mine would)! So I am sorry that you are worried about what he thinks...I know it is hard not to. I feel the same way when my dad and my little brother sit and tell me that I should wait that you have your whole life ahead of you. BUT guess what I want to be done having my kids by the time I am 30 I am sure that it wont happen but that is the plan for now! So do what you want!
I hope things work out for you!

[Banned-AKennedy]

Tell him politely to mind his business and to respect your privacy, even if he doesn't agree with him. Also do your parents know what you are thinking/planning, if so tell them he's butting it, You are older than him at any rate.

Worst comes to worst, just keep clearing the history, thats what I do when borrowing someone else's pc.

[BabyBee13]

thanks very much for all of the great advice ladies..i already feel so much better about it..and i did tell him that i'm 25 years old and it's up to us not him..he also said me going on this site made him uncomfortable..i told him i have a lot of friends on here so deal with it..i also told him he can't understand cause he's not a woman lol..i am getting my own laptop very soon i am hoping in the next few days..please keep your fingers crossed for me..i also believe that i got pg for a reason and sadly miscarried..but i think in order for us to understand we were ready we had to feel the loss..i know in my heart i am ready to be a mom and we will give our baby everything..thank you for being here for me and i look forward to continuing this ttc journey with you wonderful girls..

[LifesGood]

im glad you feel better honey

[Tammyms]

I'm sorry your lil bro put you through that! Everyone is right, this is your decision, if you were 15 and planning this he may have a point! I wish I had been able to ttc sooner, like Nikki, now I'm 33 and having troubles and things are going to be a lot harder, I would have rather been a younger mom, even energy wise I certainly don't have what I did at 25! You know what's right for you and you're doing this WITH your bf, as long as your baby is born with love I don't know that the ring matters all that much... you can do that on your own time too