[Coley]

HSG Update...

DH came with, but he had to stay in the waiting room... which was right outside the actual X-ray rooms. I am so happy he went with me. If I had to go through that alone... I dunno.

I have to say... that... was... just HORRIBLE. Just typing about it, is making me cry all over again. I was fine for a bit... I even dealt with Mr. Ducky as well as can be expected.

I tried very hard not to look at the tray of instruments. Once I saw the catheter, I turned my head the other way, because I didn't want to see any more. I knew it would just increase my already heightened anxiety.

It didn't help matters that Doc Smith had to pull out a medieval device similar to one of these

to physically grab my cervix to dilate it. THAT... was NOT... NICE!

So as you can expect, the dilation was less than ideal... but the moment Doc Smith started injecting that dye, that was when it all started to go wrong. It hurt so badly, I kept blinking back tears, but it got to the point where I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

I started to cry really badly... saying how bad it hurt. I was gripping the side of the table because I couldn't put my hands on my uterus like I usually do when it hurts, because they were trying to photograph it. It was just so awful. I was in so much pain, I couldn't even bring myself to watch the screen as the HSG was being done.

Doc Smith was great though, she talked me through each and every bit, what she was doing when and what to expect. After the procedure was done, she came to the side of the table and held my hand. telling me I did really well and she knows it's such a tough procedure. She asked me if I saw the screen at all when they were doing it and I said "No"

So she turned the screen and went over everything. When the Radiologist's final report comes, she'll call me. But she said that my left tube emptied just fine, my uterus has a nice smooth lining so that's good...

Now on to the Bad News...

No so much good on the right tube. Which throws my whole theory straight into the garbage. Here I was so excited my 2nd round of Clomid when I O'd from my right ovary, my temps looked great, I got that line on that one HPT and everything, so I was thinking that my right side was the good side.

Well, the dye just looped around and wouldn't come out. She did say that it may flush out over the next few days, but I was so upset from the pain and hearing bad news about the side I'm afraid I'm gonna O from in a few days, I wasn't thinking clearly enough to ask any questions like How will I know if it has drained over the next few days? If it remains blocked, what do we do about that, if anything? But I can ask all of that when she calls with the final results.

Just thinking about that makes me cry, because if my right tube is blocked, then that means any time I O from the right, it's probably a complete and total waste of a cycle. GOD DAMMIT!!!

I came out into the waiting room and DH was looking very concerned. I could see he was a bit rattled by all the "noise". He asked if it was as bad as it sounded. I just nodded quietly, picked up my bag of clothes and went into the changing room. Once I got in the changing stall, I just broke down all over again and cried and cried. When I came back out, we just sat there and he held me for a while so I could cry.

So we came home, I changed into my Christmas jammies from my MIL and my robe, I pulled the Microfleece comforter off the bed and I'm now curled up on the sectional with 2 cats and a dog.

I just got Revolutionary Road in the mail from Netflix, so I think I'm going to take it easy, watch that and see how I feel.

Right now, it's weepy, crampy and sad.

[forest]

I'm sorry it was so hard! They totally drugged me up when I had my SHG, but maybe that isn't standard practice. Stick to that couch today and I hope you feel better soon.

[wishfulgal]

Oh, Nikki I'm so sorry. I actually used to assist with HSGs (I'm a radiologic technologist) and they looked like an awful thing to have done. You definitely aren't the first person to cry or scream during one, trust me on that. I'm actually pretty terrified to ever have one done after watching them.

Maybe make a list of questions to ask your doctor when she calls back so you make sure you get all of your questions answered.

More

[Coley]

Oh! Before I log off for more Aleve, my movie and maybe a nap... just in case some of you are unfamiliar with Mr. Ducky...



That'd be him. He is my nemesis... Best put... he is the Newman to my Seinfeld. We try to avoid one another... but it's inevitable that we MUST see each other at least once a year! We even greet each other in similar fashion... salutations uttered through gritted teeth, the whole nine.

[Admin-pattyandthemoos]

I just had a feeling when I was reading how much pain you were in that something was wrong. I have had two of them done and neither were that painful. From what I understand it is just awful if you have a blocked tube.

I am so incredibly sorry Nikki. I feel so bad.

I hope she will refer you to an RE that can help you. I don't know all the treatment options - even though I am missing a tube it's not quite the same thing.

[DeepSouthMommy]

I'm so sorry, Nikki. That test is miserable enough without them having to grab your cervix. I told you, I almost came off the table during the test and that's without a blockage...I can't imagine how you were feeling.

I agree that I hope you find a really good RE that can help you. I know it sucks to have something wrong, but at least now you and your doctors will know what they are working against and can give you the proper treatments that you need.

[shell1981]

Ive never had anything like that done. I had all my toes curled up as i was reading your description. It sounds like it was absolutely terrifying!!! I m so sorry you had to go through that! Big massive hugs to you hun!

[OurSweetLabs]

Oh Nikki

(((HUGS)))

I am so sorry. I hope you can come up with a plan from here that will get you preggo fast.

[Miss. Impatient Bevis]

OH NIKKI.. im so sorry hun. Im blocked on my righty too.
I hope their is something that they can do to unblock the buster.
(((HUGS)))

[WifeMotherGoddess]

Oh Nikki, that sounded just awful. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope now the blockage with your right tube is known, something can be done to help.

[Mod-LilSunshine]

BIG Nikki. I'm sorry that you had to go through that!!

[crazy4disney]

I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Hopefully you will have a speedy recovery and get some answers soon on what you can do to speed up the ttc process! ((HUGS))

[Arya]

Reading that gave me goosebumps I'm so sorry. But at least now you know what's wrong and hopefully they can fix it so you can have that little baby

[jesridge]

Oh boy... I'm so sorry to hear that. It's bad enough to be poked and prodded, and then to find out bad news is just yucky. Sorry, chick. I've got to get one of those when/if AF comes (oh dear God please let her not show up, holy crap) and now I'm thoroughly terrified. I'm personally really glad you posted your experience, though, so I can know what to expect. I hope that you get some answers/recovery/relaxation soon so you can get the BFP you deserve so much after all of this!

[Coley]

You guys!!

I'm finally resurfacing after taking it reeeeeeeally easy yesterday.

I'm still spotting a bit, but it's nothing bad, really. It wasn't real bad yesterday... but it's even less yet today.

I did notice a GUSH during the drive home from the hospital. Unfortunately, I didn't bring a pantyliner with me, I guess I expected they'd give me one, and I was wearing dark undies, so I couldn't "see" what it was.

I did do the pantyliner thing when I got home. Most of what was there was not blood... so I'm hopeful that the dye from my right tube did drain. I know the "dye" actually looks like water, so I guess it could be. I dunno.

Jes - It was certainly NOT my intention to terrify... and PLEASE know that if you do have to do an HSG, there is nothing saying yours will be ANYTHING like mine. I read so many stories where it was a total breeze for lots of people. Better yet, let's just get a BFP for you, then you won't have to worry about it.

The biggest disappointment for me, was that I wasn't able to watch the screen as it was happening. I was so interested, intrigued and excited to be able to see parts of my body that I can't normally see. I mean, once it was done, she went over the final image on the screen... but I didn't get to see it the way I wanted to.

[alicenwonderland]

I'm so sorry Nikki. I had a similar experience with my HSG. They had to grab and dialate my cervix too. And I was hysterically crying then whole time. The dye didn't hurt for me though. But my tubes were open. The left only had a partial blockage. (though i still ovulated on this side and got pregant twice)

I'm sorry about the blockage. Hoping you get a nice fat left sided eggy this cycle. I got pregnant the cycle after HsG.