[~Sandy~]

i thought that i would give you guys a post to let you know why i stepped down...i had thought that i wouldnt say anything because truthfully i feel bad and selfish about it....so hopefully no one gets upset with me...

in january i will be having another surgery done on my abdominal area....this past month i had another ultrasound done and it appears that my appendix has re-adhered to my bowels and my right tube has adhered to god knows what...all of this is due to the surgery i had when i had the ectopic removed...the doc told me no ttc until after the surgery because if i do get pregnant before i will not be able to have the surgery, i am in pain almost all the time , it feels like gas cramps and shooting pains constantly but it alwys stays in one area...sometimes it feels exactly like the ectopic felt but im sure that is due to the fact that the right tube is involved...i am so tired of finding more and more problems with me and all i wanted out of this is a baby....just one is all i ask...why God is choosing to do this to me i dont know....I have lost alot of my positivity and at the risk of sounding whiney i am just having a hard time with bfp's right now... i knwo there are some that have been here way longer than me and i know that they are more hurt than i..... but i just cant help it.... i am lost and hurt right now.... i keep flip flopping between do i try this month and screw the doc or do i just wait ....im in no danger if i get pregnant, it will just be painful i guess.... Brian says lets try and my heart says sandy go for it....but my brain says whats another couple months...i am not usually the negative poster and i try very hard to be psoitive all the time because that is how we get through things...i contemplated and had agreed with myself that i wasnt going to tell anyone here what i was going through, i thought why would they want to hear my whiney negative self...i didnt want to bring you guys down...i am realizing that i need you guys and your support because i am in a dark place right now and my heart hurts... those two pink lines are getting further and further away from me than i had ever imagined.....some of you know my pain and some of you dont and thats okay....but i need you all....

so i stepped down because i felt that it would be best to allow someone who had the time and the heart to guide you guys in charting... i will still help and post, but i dont have it in me to be a host at this time...i hope you understand guys... maybe later there will be a spot somewhere for me to host and i will still update the charting room if it stays up there (although prob not every day) .... i hope you all understand

[usmcaviatorwife]

I totally understand and wish you the best of luck with this journey! I will keep you in my prayers and keep us updated on how everything turns out! GOOD LUCK and !!!

[KittyMom]

You don't have to explain yourself at all (((HUGS))). You are going through a lot 9wow is all I can say) and each person has to know their limits on how much they can handle at what time.

I hope and pray you get some pain relief and know that we all love and appreciate the time you spent here. Going through all of your old posts really helped me learned proper charting.

[diznynurse]

Great Big Huge I love ya and am here for you so please don't hesitate to pm me or email me. This surgery is so important for you have, not good for the appendix to adhere to the bowel. You want to get that taken care of before it gets worse. As far as your tubes, maybe that's why your lil bean won't stick. I see very good things for you after the surgery. Your lil fallopian tube will be right where it needs to be to carry that eggie where it needs to go!!!!!

I'll say a prayer for you each and every day until I see your BFP!

[AndoriaC]

You don't need to explain yourself at all Sandy. I hope you are able to get through the tough times that have been coming your way lately, and if you need to vent at all, then we're here to listen and offer our support!

[gumbystryingfor#2]

Sandy, I have not been here very long but in that time you have been very helpful to me! I Understand your frustrations and sadness but you you must not feel guilty for stepping down, Now is the time to take care of yourself! We will all be here whenever you need to vent and we will be your shoulders to cry on as Im sure you have been for alot of us! Take care. Lisa

[mlgteach]

Oh, Sandy!

I had no idea! I'm so sorry for the pain, both physically and emotionally, that you are going through right now. You need to do what is best for you and your family.

We are all here for you!

Best Wishes!

I am so sorry Sandy that you are going through this!!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!! Try and take care of yourself and you know that we are always here for you when you need

[drewbears]

Many (((((((HUGS))))))))

[tootienkyle]

Sandy....reading your post...I cried through the whole thing. Nobody should have to go through any of what we go through. I am so sorry that you have all of that going on It did sadden me, but I am so glad you are sharing it with us. You are a strong person and a very positive person, but even the most positive of people can have their downs too. I am here for you if you ever need to talk. You do what your heart and body tells your to do and what YOU think is best. Hang in there!!! BIG HUGS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO