[babybean3]

2.5 years ago or maybe a little more I went off bc, after having had 2 children already I thought the third one would be easy too, boy was a I wrong, this is beginning to seem impossible, I had Long cycles for 1.5 yrs of my journey, every month I would think I was pregnant when 45 days went by without a period. I even humiliated myself going in for bw that was a bfn. of course.. Finally in April 07 my doctor concluded he thought I wasnt ovulating put me on lowest dose of clomid...well that put me in he hospital with a huge cyst that was twisted and bleeding..it was VERY PAINFUL...due to that though I had exploratory laporoscopy surgery where he foound my rigth ovary wsa covered in cysts and left had a few, I had endometriosis and it was no mild case...In Oct 07 I had an hsg done to check my tubes, no blocklages great, 2 cycles later BFP, first one of the entire over 2 years trying...I started bleeding about an hour after I got my bfp, I creid and it dragged out for weeks, My numbers were more than doubling but turned out I had an ectopic pregnancy anyway, It wsa on my ovary so it stil had plenty room to enlarge where most tubals are in or on the tube...so they rupture sooner b4 numbers go up like that...so as soon as I had hope it would be okay again, I went in for my 7 week ultrasound due to the bleeding and I had started being in a large amouunt of pain the night before....dr had me rushed to the er for surgery, it was a dangerous situation the ruptured ectopic had me internally hemorraging, I lost about 1/3 of my body's blood...

Since then in Dec I lost baby...I have been using my CBfertility monitor, this will be the third month with no ovulation and I am supposed to go back in May if I dont O by then to see the dr again, scared and dont really know what the next step will be , but sometimes I feel like giving up, this is my hearts desire but I get so worn out and exhausrted I am trying to chill out on it...but its hard....My sister is pregnant and due the same day I was, we were preg together so its real hard altough I am happy for her...!

Look forawrd to reading about everyone elses journeys and chatting.

[tinkerbell5050]

sorry to hear about your loss, i hope your journey doesnt last too long x

[babybean3]

sorry to hear about your loss, i hope your journey doesnt last too long x[/b]

Thanks yeah Me niether Im sick of it to be frank..and right now I am currently forced fo rit to be a t a halt as i am not even ovulating since the loss...going back to the doc in May...I just want to do this!!