[mom2aidan]

Hello,

I am new here (not to JM but to writing a TTC journal). My name is Teresa and I am 24 years old. I live in Dallas Texas and I am a stay at home mom as well as a photographer (on the side in my spare time). My husband, Andy, and I decided we were originally going to start trying for our 2nd baby around the time Aidan was a year old. Well, that never happened. We were so busy. Well, in November 2007, he came to me and said "babe, I want you to give me a little girl. Lets start trying for a baby girl." What he didnt know is that we have a family reunion in July in Missouri and I would be about 7-8 months along at that point and I didnt want to be pregnant, yet again in the summer. Then we decided that at in the new year, January 2008, we would start trying. I started charting again and established when my O date would be and I thought he went "all the way" (we are not on any form of birth control due to terrible side effects on me therefore we use the POM...pull out method). Turns out he really didnt and I ended up with a BFN that cycle. I was bummed and thought he would never want another baby ever again. He has a 13 year old from his previous marriage who now lives with us and that is stressful in itself. And we have Aidan, now 21 months old and in his terrible 2's already.
He told me we could start trying in July 2008 ONLY because he wanted an April baby. You have to understand that EVERYONE in his family (well, okay mostely everyone) and a lot of people in my family are born in April and I wanted this baby...which may be our last....to have its own birthday. I told him what about starting in May 2008. He agreed. That way we could find out if we were pregnant before we went to the reunion in July and would be able to tell my entire family. That would be exciting, right? I had AF show up on the 8th of May and my cycles usually last 4-5 days. This time it lasted about 4 1/2 days. Therefore from what the calendar says, my O day would be the 22nd....which happens to also be 1) our 2 yr 7 month wedding anniversary but 2) also a day that Andy works. Bummer.
I am not on any birth control, I do not temp, and I do not use OPK's or any other fertility monitors.
When I got pregnant with Aidan, it was exactly a month after we got married when I found out I was pregnant. Therefore, I dont think we will have a problem getting pregnant with this one.
We have calculated and used the Chinese Gender Predictor and it says as of right now this is the only month to get pregnant and have a girl. I dont really care what we have but it would be nice to have a little girl to balance out the boys....sorta!
I will keep everyone up-to-date on our TTC experience.
Wish us luck!

[mom2aidan]

Today is May 15, 2008

I guess I really dont know how to "start" intimate moments. I opened myself up the past 2 days with Andy and asked "hey babe, when do you want to start trying?" because he didn't seem interested in even having another baby and his response....was "whenever"
*** is that supposed to mean?
I have thrown myself at him.....kinda......I put my leg over him in the bed, rubbed his chest and started kissing him but I guess that was not a BLUNT hint saying "hey babe... (as Will Smith would say) let's get jiggy with it" LOL

I just hope that we can at least do something more than once between the 19th and the 24th as those are "fertile" days and I dont want to miss it.

I just got off of AF and I keep looking at the box of tampons and bag of pads in my bathroom and I say to myself "man, I really dont want to see you for another 9-12 months)" and sometimes I sit there and give up hope and tell the box and bag of feminine products "howdy my friends...might be seeing you next month"

I am bummed and I want a baby but I can't force Andy to want another one. He wants a girl but he doesn't seem into wanting another baby or this whole TTC thing like the rest of the hubbies (on this forum) do. I mean some girls have their bf's, df's or dh's buying them HPT's where as mine wont let me buy one until I am like a month late and he KNOWS that he did something to cause me to buy an HPT.

[mom2aidan]

Today is May 16, 2008

Wow last night was an adventure. I think I cried for about 2 hours. I didn't go to bed until after midnight sometime.
I kept telling Andy that I really wanted to try for a baby. I told him a lot of hubbies of women here on JM were giving their wives (you ladies) pregnancy tests, or going out to buy them, or getting fertility stuff and going to doctors with them. But Andy well he doesn't seem interested at all.
He kept telling me all I need to do is start things with him. His words were "I am tired of starting things with you and having sex with you....I want you to have sex with me and start things". ***??? I have never had to come on to a guy. They are usually so turned on by me that I dont have a chance to come on to them.

To be honest to you girls, there are factors that make Andy attractive but there are others that dont. He needs to get his teeth fixed as he had one punched out (the one next to the front teeth) and then one of the front teeth is starting to rot because he 1) doesn't brush his teeth I swear but once a week....at least...and 2) because he did some "chew" back in the day (tobacco chew). And since he doesn't brush his teeth much, it makes his breath really bad and no matter how much I tell him to brush his teeth...well I am not his mother he is not going to listen to me. Another thing that made me "unattracted" to him was the fact he used to be controlling and he is 9 years older than me but he is not my dad.

When we first got together, we used to be all over each other. I remember having sex 6 times a day, 3 times a day, etc and now after his step son moved in and after we had Aidan, we both just dont have that kind of energy.

He kept saying it is in God's hands when we have a baby but in January we were "trying" and he went all the way and then pulled out....made me think we were trying but he really told me he never really did anything and "pretended" (I wrote a thread a long time ago about it) and so I am afraid he will do that again.

I guess I just need ways to come on to him to start things to TTC but this is not fair to me because 1) it is an ultimatum (if you ask me) and then 2) this is our last baby and I have no guarantee that he will actually TTC with me.

I am bummed

[mom2aidan]

Today is May 17, 2008

2 more days before I REALLY need to start TTC. According to Ovulation calendars, I am supposed to O on the 22nd but another one said my most fertile days are the 19-24th of this month.
Well yesterday, Andy worked but when he got home we went to drop off stuff at the storage. After that we went to the mall and we went to Sears where I bought 3 CUTE shirts and 2 pair of jeans that FIT ME WELL and I am in love with...finally I got some jeans that make me feel good about myself. Make me feel "Sexy"

We then go out to eat at Spaghetti Warehouse and we didnt get home until about 10:30pm. I got Aidan in bed and then I modeled my clothes for Andy.

We then got into bed and well, finally, one thing led to another.
By this time it is after midnight, he has to get up at 5am and I was in excrutiating pain from my headache (which by the way, I have it again this morning).
Well about 45 minutes later.....yes that long (I guess that is good) he flops on top of me and says "I dont know who is more tired, you or me" and lets just say.....well I was getting excited because I thought we were going to go all the way and try to make baby but well.............................................. he NEVER FINISHED. I was bummed.

[mom2aidan]

Today is May 18, 2008

Step son Cris doesn't have school today. That is strange. Therefore he is at his grandparents until sometime this afternoon or evening.
Andy and I were talking last night about me having the "moving fever" along with "baby fever" and he kept saying how he wanted to move before we get a new car....as a house is more important than a new car. I was bummed because I want to be pregnant before July so I could have some good news at the family reunion but I also dont want to get pregnant later on and be 6-9 months pregnant during the summer...that is hard...especially in Texas.
We talked about going to go look around in neighborhoods to find the area we want to move to and then start to seriously looking for a new house. But in the mean time, we will still try for a baby but we wont chart, temp, etc or what not. We are doing the "if it happens, it happens"

[mom2aidan]

Today is May 21, 2008

I am supposed to Ovulate tomorrow but I think I did that yesterday.
Well, Andy and I DTD last night and we were going a lot longer than usual (TMI sorry) and I asked "we aren't going to have a repeat of the other night are we?" and his response "oh trust me, we aren't" and so I was getting excited.....about to possibly "plant the seed" to get pregnant. And you know what he does....? He pulls out. NO BABY. I cried for a good hour later.
I asked him about it and he said "well the other night you said "if it happens it happens" which he thought meant that I didnt want to get pregnant. ***??? That makes no sense at all. How can "it happen if it happens" if he keeps pulling out? I am so mad. I am (TMI warning) dry as an overcooked chicken today so I am not ovulating today obviously.